Lost in you
by Mibamonster
Summary: During an attempt on Jill's life, one of the attackers turns out to have an interesting skill: to switch bodies. Now Sydney looks like a Moroi who's wanted for being an accomplice. How will she get her body back? Sydrian.
1. Sydney: I'm having a situation over here

**Sydney**

'**I'm having a situation over here'**

'Sydney, slow down.' Jill was leaning forward between the two front seat chairs, her arms resting on the headrests. 'There's someone there.'

Normally, this wouldn't be enough reason for me to stop. It was dark, I was tired, and we were supposed to be back at Amberwood in fifteen minutes; we had stayed too long at Clarence's, held there by Adrian who was in need of Jill and entertainment. However, when the car's headlights lit up the girl's face, I saw she was a Moroi.

_What is a Moroi girl doing on the side of the road in the middle of California? _I wondered, slowing down.

'Maybe we should just keep going,' said Eddie, who was in the back with Jill. 'It's not our problem. Maybe she's waiting for someone.'

'Eddie, she's holding out her thumb, she's obviously hitchhiking,' said Jill. 'Surely we could take her to the next stop?'

'It's not our problem,' Eddie repeated.

'We should at least ask if we can help with anything,' said Jill.

By now we'd reached the girl and I lowered my window, despite Eddie's protests. Up close I saw the girl, who had fiery red hair and blue eyes, was around my age, maybe a bit older. She gave me a pleasant smile.

'Hello,' I said. 'Are you okay here?'

She glanced up for a moment before returning her eyes to the car. Looking at me and then at Eddie and Jill, she said, 'Yes, I'm okay. It's just that I'm lost. My parents were supposed to pick me up, but, er, they… I took a wrong road.'

'Would you like a ride?' Jill said. I hoped my rigid back conveyed to Eddie that he was supposed to make her shut up. Jill was not even supposed to be here; having other Moroi find out where the Dragomir princess was would probably end in disaster.

'Oh, no, I was just wondering if maybe you have a map or something I could take a look at,' she said.

'We don't,' Eddie said. 'I'm sorry. Sis, let's - '

He never got to finish his sentence. The next moment, the Moroi girl took a step away from the window. That was something that hardly registered with me. No, it was the axe that hacked through Eddie's window that made me scream.

Jill sat frozen to her bench as Eddie opened the car door and smacked it against the assailer. Then he got out of the car and went in full-guardian mode. It was hard to see what was happening in the dark, but the sounds were vivid enough to give me a mental picture. I startled when a body was smacked against the car's side; it had to be the assailer's, because it wasn't Eddie. There was blood on his cheek that left a trail on Angeline's window.

'Stay with Jill,' Angeline said to me. She had been as rigid as I had, but now she seemed to snap out of it. She opened the dashboard and got out a knife. Then she opened her door and ran around the car. It took me a second to understand what she was doing, until I looked to my left and saw the Moroi girl tackled and pinned to the ground.

I turned around to look at Jill. A quick scan told me she was all right, physically at least. 'Jill, I… please duck,' I said, wondering what I was supposed to do. I looked out of the windows and didn't _see _anyone else, but what if there was another attacker outside, waiting until we were distracted?

She blinked, confused, and then got my intent. Folding her hands over the back of her head, she lay on the car's floor.

'Sydney, call someone,' she said, her voice muffled.

'Call som – oh, right, of course.' I got my phone from my jeans' pocket and pressed the speed-dial for the closest Alchemists I knew, about an hour away from Palm Springs, in Riverside. It was a strange experience to hear an Alchemist's calm voice when a man said, 'John Conner, who is this?'

'Sydney Sage,' I said. I flinched when the assailer was slammed against the car once more. My poor baby. First getting a window smacked in, now this… 'I – I'm having a situation here.'

'What kind of situation? We're rather busy at the moment.'

'Ah… an attack for the princess's life,' I said. 'I think – I think the guardians have it under control, but some one needs to come and pick them up. I think.' In reality I had no idea what the procedures for a situation like this were. Before I came here, I'd been briefed on what to do in an attack, but as nobody had expected it to happen, the rules weren't clear.

'Where are you?' John Conner's voice was a lot less bored now. 'Is the princess all right? How many attackers are there?'

I looked at the mile pole and gave him our exact position. 'The princess is fine, and there are two attackers, as far as I know of. No others have made themselves known to us. How long until you can be here?'

'Forty-five minutes. Keep me posted if anything happens.' He hung up.

'Is someone coming?' Jill asked.

I nodded. 'Yeah. Stay here, I'm going to check.' I got out of the car. The girl that had been waiting for us was lying on the ground, looking dazed. Her hands seemed to be bound with some sort of light cloth. Just as I wondered where that came from, I spotted Angeline, Eddie and the attacker; one of Angeline's sleeves was torn off. Other than that, she seemed to be fine, as did Eddie. It was the Moroi attacker that had got the worst of it.

He was bleeding from a cut underneath his right eye, and his lip was swollen. He was gasping for air and leaning against a tree trunk. Eddie watched him, Angeline's knife in his hand, but I didn't think this attacker had much energy left in him.

I walked over to them. Angeline turned around, her eyes scanning the surroundings. 'Is someone coming?' she asked.

'Is Jill okay?' Eddie's eyes wandered off to the car for a moment before focusing on the attacker again.

'Jill's fine. Shocked, but… Is he conscious?' I nodded at the attacker.

Eddie shrugged. 'I think he is. Want me to end that?'

'No. I'd like to have a talk with him.' I walked over and stopped at a distance of three feet. The man's brown hair, coated with sweat and, near his right ear, with blood, was matted to his head. His green eyes were fixed on me.

'Who are you?' I said.

'Doesn't matter,' he said. 'One of many.'

A collective shiver went through Eddie, Angeline and me. Eddie nodded at Angeline, who went back to the car, holding the knife again.

'What do you mean?' Eddie asked. 'Are more coming? Are they coming _now_?'

The man grinned. One of his front teeth was missing, but I wasn't sure if that was Eddie's doing; this man had very bad teeth for a vampire.

'Maybe they are, maybe they aren't,' he sang. 'Your teenage queen will not stay. The power will go over to the mighty rulers. We will put an end to Vasilisa Dragomir, and we will end her sister!' This turned out to be the wrong thing to say. Without much ado, Eddie crossed the two steps that separated him from the attacker, and kicked him against his temple. The man crumpled against the tree, blood trickling from his fresh wound.

'I'm not sure if that was the right course of action,' I said. 'We could've got information from him.'

Eddie looked a bit embarrassed. 'I know, I just… Instinct took over.' Instinct or his crush on Jill? 'He won't have permanent brain damage. I think. You Alchemists will still be able to get your information.'

'Yes, but if we're attacked in five minutes because more are coming, then it really sucks that we couldn't ask him,' I said. We started walking back to Latte. Through the broken window I could see Jill sitting up and talking to Angeline.

'If it's known we're here, we'll be in trouble,' said Eddie. 'We'll have to relocate. Hey Jill, are you okay?' He opened the door and slid into the seat next to Jill's. I was left staring at my mutilated car, pondering what he had said.

_A relocation_. _Will that be necessary?_

'I'm not sure if we should just keep them lying around,' I said, pointing my thumb at the body behind me. 'Help should be here in about forty-five minutes, which is fast, but still enough time for them to escape.'

Eddie and Angeline exchanged looks, and she got out of the car. 'Forty-five minutes you say?' she said. She grabbed the Moroi girl, whose expression was dazed, and swung her over her shoulder as if the girl weighed no more than a sack of potatoes.

'Something like that, yes,' I said.

'All right.' She put the girl down a couple of feet from the man and took a seat on a tree trunk. 'That's going to be a long waiting game, then.'

Angeline was right. I waited in the car at first, but felt guilty and went to keep Angeline company. Not that she needed it; she wasn't the most talkative person, and she was on her guard now: hardly a time to get to know each other better.

For lack of something better to do I made a schedule of my school and Alchemist work. I was getting behind a bit on the former, because I was now the only Alchemist in Palm Springs and that consumed a chuck of my time. If I kept to this planning I should be fine, though.

'You really work too hard,' said Angeline, once she realized what I was doing. 'The school's only a cover story anyway, why bother with it?'

I just smiled at her and shrugged. I doubted she would understand my love for learning. Angeline was very curious, but she wanted to know things about this world that had a practical use: how do you behave in society, what is the best way to knock someone out cold, how do you make a nice meal? For me information didn't have to be useful. That was probably why I liked Ancient History so much, despite my unease with Mrs Terwilliger.

The Moroi girl started to stir just when a pair of headlights came around the corner. Angeline's body tensed and from the corner of my eye I could see Eddie getting out of Latte when the other car slowed down.

The car's doors opened and a man and a woman came out.

'Sydney Sage?' the woman said.

I nodded and stepped forward. 'The attackers are over there,' I said.

She gave me a brisk nod and went over to the two vampires. The man – I wondered if he was John Conner – followed suit. Eddie went into the car again. I smiled when I saw he was holding Jill; maybe those two had hope yet.

When I arrived at the vampires, the girl was coming around. She looked dazed as the man took off the improvised handcuffs.

'What happened?' she asked.

'You tell us, young lady,' said the man. Definitely John Conner.

She choked. For a second, her hands were free. She was surrounded by enemies, one of whom had already kicked her ass once. Her only ally – as far as I knew – was unconscious. Yet she saw a chance and she took it.

The stomped Conner in his face with her elbow. Using the momentary distraction, she made a run for it. But unlike what I'd expected, she didn't go for the woods, or for one of the cars. She came running straight at me.

I wanted to duck, I wanted to attack, I wanted to do _something_, but I was too surprised. When she slammed into me, I looked into her eyes for a moment, before her hand found mine and grabbed it. While we fell to the ground together, I fell onto something else as well. I had the weird sensation of my whole being was sucked into the palm of my hand.

With a smack, we landed on the ground. But I wasn't on my back, as I'd expected. I was lying on top of someone.

That someone opened her eyes.

They were mine.

Then everything went black.

* * *

**A/N: This is going to be my first try at a longer VA-fic, so reviews/hints/tips/praise/whatever is always welcomed :) **


	2. Kate: But the girl's probably crazy

**Kate**

'**But the girl's probably crazy'**

It was strange to see my own body get carried away. The male guardian – Eddie, someone called him – must have hit the head pretty hard.

_That's going to be one hell of a headache when she wakes up_, I thought. I couldn't avert my eyes, until a soft hand touched my arm.

'Sydney? Are you okay?' It was the Moroi girl – the Dragomir Princess, Jillian. How strange that only an hour ago I was on a mission to have her killed and I was now smiling pleasantly at her.

'Yes, I'm fine,' I said. She didn't look convinced, so I added, 'Just, er, you know. Tired, and shocked.'

'Yeah, me too,' she said. She looked at Peter's body as it was carried off by the male human. 'I hate it that things like this happen.' Her eyes were red and swollen, I noticed, but it seemed she was done crying, because she grabbed 'my' hand and squeezed it. 'And then for that girl to go straight for you… That was so strange.'

'Definitely,' I said. 'Made no sense at all, but the girl's probably crazy.' I shrugged and glanced over my shoulder, just in time to see my body get put in the backseat of the new car. I hadn't been entirely conscious when it got here, but it had to be the help-troops 'Sydney' had called. I wondered what they were; not policemen of course, but they _were_ human.

_More than enough time to find out things like that_, I told myself. _Better to focus on acting normal and take in as much of your surroundings as possible. Your name is Sydney. The male guardian is named Eddie, the female something like 'Angie'. You are Sydney._

_I'm Sydney._

_I did it._

'Sydney, Jill, we're… Eddie and I thought we should leave,' said Angie. I took an involuntary step away from her – the sensation of her fist against my face was something I could recall only too clearly. If she noticed, she didn't show it.

'We should,' Jill said. 'We're already late for curfew. Yugh, I can only imagine Mrs. Weather's reaction when we get in more than an hour late.' She grimaced, and Angie laughed. A half second too late, I joined. _Who is Mrs. Weathers?_

'Miss Sage?' the male human said. 'Miss Sage?' he repeated. 'Sydney?'

_Oh, shit, that's me._

I turned around and hoped the warmth of my smile would make him forget I didn't respond to my name. Judging from his stern expression, this was not a man that worked on. 'Yes, sir?' I said, before wondering what my relationship to this man was. Was he my boss, my father, my older lover…?

When he spoke again, the very distinct smell of vodka was in his breath. No way that a girl that dressed this neat would go for a man who drinks when on the job – so that cancelled out the lover-possibility. Good.

'We are taking these scoundrels away now, but you might be asked to answer some questions later,' he said. 'Probably the Alchemist on site should do that, so you'd better inform him too, if you haven't already.'

'I will, sir,' I said. _Alchemist? _'Anything else, or can we go now? We've got curfew at school.'

He looked at Jill and Angeline, before taking a step backwards and shaking his head. 'No, that is all for now. Have a nice night.' He went back to the car; his body was sagging with relief.

There was a frown on Jillian's face as we walked over to the brown car that had stopped for me earlier this evening. 'Sydney?' she said, hesitating. 'I thought you were the Alchemist on site? Who are you going to report to? Stanton?'

_I'm the Alchemist on site? Yikes._ 'Oh, yeah, S-Stanton, probably,' I said, reminding myself to look up that name later.

After Eddie had cleared the back seat from leftover class and everybody was taking their seats, I realized the girl in the driver's seat had been Sydney. This meant I was supposed to drive. To their boarding school – I knew that much. But where that was? No idea.

I leaned against the car's side, my face in my hands. 'Eddie?' I said in a small voice.

'Sydney?'

'I – I don't feel so well. Do you think you could drive us, maybe?' Eddie seemed the one to ask. Jillian wasn't sixteen yet, so she couldn't drive, and that Angie might be too young as well. Eddie, however, was like the ultimate guardian and to me that meant he knew how to drive a car.

I got lucky. He took one look at my face, nodded, and got out of the car. He took the driver's seat and I went to sit next to him. This body was shorter than my own and sitting in the large chair made me feel like somewhat of a dwarf.

Pretending to be tired, I rested my head against the window and said nothing while the others discussed the attack. As I stared at my new reflection, a thousand thoughts crossed my mind, but the one that kept coming back was: _I did it I did it I did it I DID IT!_

A tap on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. Angie was holding out a diary. 'You left this when those other guys came,' she said, as I mutely accepted it. 'I thought it might be important, what with you writing in it and all.'

_It might be. Let's find out_, I thought, running my hand over the cover. It was a plain, dark blue diary, though bigger than most. Either this was one filled with a _lot _of teenage fluff, or, what seemed more likely, with a lot of work.

I opened it; the first page was filled with personal information. Apparently I was Sydney Melrose (_But then why did that man call me Sage? _I wondered), I was seventeen years old and in case of emergency, Eddie Melrose or Donna Stanton should be called.

_Eddie Melrose? Am I related to him?_ I peeked at Eddie, who wasn't human at all. Did we share a human parent? That seemed unlikely; Moroi and humans didn't mix anymore. I made a mental note to investigate this further, and continued reading the diary.

The second page was a timetable. In the top left it said: 'Amberwood College, Palm Springs. Timetable Sydney Melrose, Senior, Room 213.' I looked at the courses Sydney – I – followed and almost laughed out loud. Ancient History? Advanced Greek _and _German? This girl couldn't have a life.

_But then, if she did, she wouldn't wear clothes like these_. _Memo to me: buy better clothes_.

The next couple of pages consisted of addresses: 'Abernathy, Francis; Alkwood, Barbara; Andreivitsch, Vladimir'. And so it continued, in alphabetical order, every name accompanied by postal and e-mail addresses and several phone numbers – house, work, mobile. _Stanton, Donna _was in it as well, but her name offered no further information.

I leafed through the rest of the diary until I arrived at this week. More even than in the rest of the year (as far as I could see), the pages for this week were filled with plans. '09.00 to 15.00: classes. 15.15-17.00 Latin, translating for Terwilliger. After 17.00: check on Alchemist duties. If easy day: help Jill w/homework. 18.30: Dinner. Afterwards: French until 21.00, then Anna Karenina until sleep. When time, do exercise for legs.' I looked down at my new legs and found little wrong with them; they weren't as slim as my old ones, but… maybe I had to see myself with my pants off before I could judge them.

Speaking of being without pants… I wondered if Sydney Melrose had a boyfriend. I could only imagine what he would be like; a bookish boy, with large glasses and always wearing sweaters his grandmother bought for him. One I'd pick on, but who would end up as the President of the United States, or something like that.

God, I hoped she didn't have a boyfriend.

The car pulled into a car park, and Eddie shut off the lights.

After grabbing a dark brown bag, I got out of the car, clenching the diary as I took in my surroundings. I hadn't done any research on the place Jillian stayed, but now I could see why they'd send their beloved princess here. This school was huge and modern and nothing like my family would ever be able to pay.

'Are you going to be okay?' Eddie asked Jillian.

She shrugged. 'I think so, yeah. I mean, it's hardly like I haven't had any other attacks on my life lately.' She laughed, but it didn't sound convincing.

'Do you want me to -' Eddie started, but she broke him off.

'I want you to go to bed and heal,' she said. 'Angeline will look after me. I'll be fine. Don't worry. Really,' she said when Eddie looked sceptic. 'I'll be fine. Unless Mrs Weathers kills me, but I suppose we'll find an explanation…' She stopped and looked at me. 'What _is _going to be our story? "Someone tried to assassinate Jill" doesn't sound like something Mrs Weathers would believe…'

'We had a flat tire,' I said.

'How are we going to explain the broken window?' asked Eddie.

_I don't know – you tell me. _'An... Er… bird. Flew in,' I said. 'Listen, I'll think of something, but right now, isn't it the most important that we just get to bed? Tomorrow everything will look better.' To my great astonishment, nobody seemed to think this sentence was strange. Did Sydney really talk like this?

'You're right,' Eddie said. He yawned and ran his hand over his jaw. 'Well, I guess I'll be going to the East Wing now… Are you _sure _you'll be all right?'

'If anything happens, I can handle it, Castile,' said Angeline. 'You can go.'

He hesitated for a second before turning away. As I had no idea where I was supposed to go, I followed Jillian and Angeline. After a couple of minutes we entered a building. In what I thought was the reception/living room, a woman was sitting behind a desk. She was reading a romance novel and looked up when the door closed behind us.

'Miss Melrose,' she said. I wasn't sure if she was talking to Jill or me. Then she took in Angelina, with her ripped sleeve. 'Miss Dawes! What happened? You aren't supposed to be outside now!'

'I know, ma'am,' I said. 'But we… Our tire. It just… died. All of a sudden. And we had to get it repaired, because, you know, otherwise we wouldn't have got here at all and… I'm so sorry, but a bird flew through my window today. My car window, I mean.' I placed my hand over my heart. 'I'm still very emotional, and very tired, and we'd like to go to bed.'

'You had a punctuated tire?' the woman said. 'Don't think I've never heard _that _one before.'

'I don't know about that, but this time it's true. Please, could we just… not do this tonight? I'm really, really tired.'

She looked at me for a long moment. 'We will discuss this in the morning,' she said. 'I expect to see you here before breakfast, Miss Melrose. You can go to your rooms now. I wish to hear no more sound, except maybe you brushing your teeth, do you understand?'

'Yes, Mrs Weathers,' said Jillian. 'We are sorry for getting in so late. Do you want me to come, too?'

The woman – Mrs Weathers – looked mollified by Jill. 'You don't have to, but I won't stop you,' she said. She used the novel to wave at the door presumably leading to the rooms. 'Just be quiet. And sleep tight.'

'Thank you. And you… have a good shift.'

We hastened out of the room and to the hallway. It was quite long, with several doors on both sides. These were numbered from 101; for the 201 and further, I'd probably have to go to the next floor.

Jillian and Angeline stopped at the door to room 126. 'Goodnight, Sydney,' said Jillian. Angeline gave some sort of nod that I assumed was her way of saying goodbye.

'Goodnight,' I said. 'See you tomorrow.'

She smiled as she opened the door, while I went on my way to search for a staircase. Several minutes later, I was standing in front of the door to room 213 and for the first time, I wondered if Sydney had a roommate. That would be an issue. Also, where was my key?

The answer to the second question was: in the side pocket of my bag. It took a couple of tries to get the right key in, but then the door swung open and I entered a pristine one-person bedroom. There were no clothes on the floor, no empty wrappings lying around, nothing. The only sign of disorder was an open box of facial powder.

I closed the door behind me, dropping the bag on the floor. I flicked on the light and walked over to the mirror to take in my new look. I was a blonde, with brown eyes and a well-proportioned body and – I leaned closer to the mirror and touched my cheek with my fingers. I had a tattoo – a golden lily tattoo. In my face. Huh. Maybe that Sydney was less of a goody two-shoes than her clothes implied.

'Hello. I'm Sydney Melrose,' I told my reflection. 'Hello, _I'm _Sydney Melrose. Hi, I'm Sydney. _Sydney. _Very nice to meet you – I'm Sydney.' I giggled and clasped my hand in front of my face. I never did that – it seemed like an instinctual reaction of the body.

'I'm Sydney,' I said. I switched off the lights and let myself fall to the bed. 'I'm Sydney. Sydney Melrose.' I closed my eyes and waited until I drifted off to sleep. My last thought before fatigue took over, was: _I wonder what's happening to Kate._


	3. Sydney: That's an interesting theory

**Sydney**

'**That's an interesting theory'**

I always thought my life was a bit like a bad movie where I kept waiting for the plot to happen. What I had been doing until now was just the prologue to a witty, romantic comedy with maybe some intellectual in-jokes and a hint of the absurd.

I wasn't sure about those in-jokes, but right now my life had the absurd in spades. And a plot too, probably, if this was a plot and not some over the top dream (something I still wasn't sure of). After all, what better way to kick-start a movie about my life than to _switch bodies with a vampire?_

_If _that was what had happened. Which I still didn't believe.

Denial was good. It kept me from going crazy while I was waiting for Rose.

It had been two hours since John Conner reluctantly said, 'Miss Mironova, you have one phone call. Would you like to make that now?'

By then, I'd been to the loo once and had seen with my own eyes what had happened, though I still had difficulty comprehending it, let alone believing it. Still, I had come up with some sort of a plan. For that plan, I needed to make that phone call.

'Yes, I would,' I said. I shuddered when I heard that voice. A Moroi voice, when I wanted to say something – but I knew I'd best not think about that right now. I needed to stay calm and think very carefully about what I was going to say.

Conner opened the door to my cell and said, 'If you'll follow me.'

He was very uncomfortable with me. I knew this wasn't because I was – apparently – a criminal; Alchemists knew how to handle those. John Conner was afraid of me because I was a Moroi. This made so little sense; _I _was afraid of Moroi. How come he was the one who was scared when obviously, I – stop.

'There's the phone,' he said, nodding at an old-fashioned telephone on a desk. Without further ado, I got the horn off the receiver and dialled Rose's number. I closed my eyes as I preyed for her to pick up.

The phone rang once, twice…

'Hello, this is Rose Hathaway.' Her voice – it was just as I remembered it. I could've cried with relief. 'Who am I speaking to?'

'Rose, it's me, Sydney,' I said.

'Oh, hey Syd. Sorry, my phone didn't recognize the number – have you got a new phone?'

'I – no. Rose, I'm in trouble. Huge, huge trouble,' I said. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Conner was checking a chart on the wall, his back turned to me. I had a feeling he might still be eavesdropping, so I lowered my voice when I said, 'Something extremely weird has happened.'

'What's wrong?' she said. 'You sound strange.'

'Yes, because – because I'm not in my body anymore.' I winced at the ridiculousness of this sentence. 'Somehow, that Moroi girl that attacked Jill – have you heard of that? That girl, I'm in her body now, and I don't know what happened and I need you to come over, please.' Tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked furiously to keep them at bay. 'Please, please help me.'

The other line was silent for a couple of seconds, until Rose said, 'I… This is the strangest thing I've ever heard. And that's saying something. What are you suggesting that happened?'

'I don't know. I just… I think I'm not doing a great job over the phone. Is there any chance you could come and… visit me?'

'If you're that Moroi girl, you're probably in the prison, right?' she said.

'Yes.'

'So, what, I'm your one phone call, CSI-style?'

'Yes.'

'Oh.' Another silence followed, until she said, 'Okay, I'll come and see you. I was going to Palm Springs anyway, so I might as well see what's going on here. I'm not promising anything, though. But listen, I'm in the car and driving right now, so… is it okay if I hang up? I should be in Palm Springs in another hour and I'll visit you then.'

'I don't think I'm still in Palm Springs,' I said. 'I don't think there's a Moroi prison there. Wait, I'll ask.' I placed one hand over the phone's mouthpiece and asked Conner, 'Excuse me, sir?'

He jumped and turned around. 'What?'

'I was wondering… where am I? Where is this? In Riverside?'

'Yes, in the Levin & Hart building. Why? Is your lawyer coming?'

'Not my lawyer.' I brought the horn to my ear again and said, 'I'm in Riverside, in what's called the Levin & Hart building. It's the Alchemists' centre in Riverside, I think. How long until you get here?'

'Two hours, tops. I'll see you later.'

Now, about two and a half hours later, I was sitting on the white floor of my cell. Rose was led in by another Alchemist – not Conner and not the woman that had been with him, either. I scurried up, repeating my lines in my head. _Please, you have to trust me, I know it seems strange_ – somehow, they didn't even sound convincing to me.

'Hey,' I said. I desperately wanted to throw myself into her arms, but awkwardness and metal bars kept me back. 'Thank you so much for coming.'

Leaning against the wall, she eyed me speculatively, her arms crossed in front of her chest. 'This is the girl who was waiting by the side of the road?' she asked the Alchemist, who nodded.

'Do you want me to stay?' she asked.

'No, I can handle this.' Rose gave her a terse little smile as a sign that she could leave. Then she focused on me again, though she took in the surroundings as well – always on the lookout. Not that there was much to see, except for me and Peter, who was asleep in the next cell. 'So. You're saying you're Sydney,' she said. 'That's quite an interesting theory. Please tell me more.'

Her coldness didn't surprise me, but managed to hurt nevertheless. 'Okay. I am Sydney, and I'm in this body right now, and I have no idea how that happened.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'I knew that much. Could you tell me something new? Something to convince me you're really Sydney and not an unusually inventive girl who came up with one hell of a plan to get out of prison?'

'You want me to prove I'm Sydney?' I asked. For a second, I felt a huge wave of relief. Then panic hit me like a slap in the face. How on earth was I supposed to _prove _I was really Sydney? 'Er… right. I should… probably do that by… I don't know, telling you something only we both know?'

'For instance.'

'Okay. I… er…' I was searching for words, trying to keep the terror away.

She sighed and let her arms fall by her side. 'Listen. Why don't you just tell me how Sydney and I first met?'

'Oh, that's easy. It was in Russia – Saint Petersburg, when you just came out of the Nightingale,' I said. 'I was following you, because – because you were annoying me, leaving Strigoi bodies all over town, and you didn't know what Alchemists were, so I was wondering if maybe you were some challenge for me, like a test and then a Strigoi attacked us.' I smiled, hoping she would be convinced. After all, nobody had been present here, except for us and that Strigoi, who was dead now.

Rose's face revealed nothing. 'A… ha,' she said. 'That… is more or less how it went down.'

'You could call "Sydney,"' I said. 'See if she knows what happened. Which she doesn't, because she wasn't there.'

The corners of her mouth curled up. 'Maybe she doesn't,' she said. 'Fact remains that you're a body that has tried to kill my best friend's sister and that so far, I've never heard of people switching bodies.'

I had the strange sensation of the floor disappearing from underneath me, leaving nothing but a black hole for me to fall in. Hanging by the metaphorical thread, I said, 'I know that. I've never heard of it either, but… can't you, I don't know, look into my eyes and know it's me? I helped you out when you were in jail. There was no proof you were innocent, but I knew you were, because I know you and –' I tried to convey to her how vital it was she believed me. How I knew I didn't have any proof other than the truth and her goodwill, but…

'Please, Rose,' I choked. 'If you don't believe me, no one will.'

She let out an awkward laugh. 'That's definitely true,' she said, mostly to herself. 'Is this the moment where you're telling me to follow my heart and my instincts, so I'll recognize who you are?' Her tone was so matter-of-fact, like we were discussing where we wanted to eat, it closed the imaginative hole that had been about to swallow me whole.

'No, that was about thirty seconds ago, when I reminded you of how that's what I did when you were in prison for murder,' I said. 'I could almost say that you owe me, in a way.'

'That's true. If you are Sydney. Which you can't prove. The thing is… ' She sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair. 'I… I believe you. God knows why, but I do. Maybe it's because you seem quite scared of me.'

'I'm not scared of you anymore,' I replied immediately.

'I think you are, a little bit,' she said.

'I've shared a room with a Moroi for weeks,' I said. 'And with you and Dimitri too, for a couple of days. I kind of got over that fear.' Not that _being _a Moroi wasn't enough to make my heart beat painfully fast, but if I'd been in a human body, I would've been scared shitless, too. 'But if that fear makes you believe I'm really Sydney, then by all means, I'm terrified.'

She really smiled this time. 'It's not only the fear,' she said. 'It's also the fact that if you weren't Sydney, this would be the strangest method of getting out of jail, ever. I doubt anyone could've come up with it.' She was silent for a second. 'Though maybe I could've, if the need was high…'

'I've no doubt you would,' I said. I felt I would've agreed to anything she said. 'So you – you believe me? You'll help me?'

'I'll try,' she said.

My stomach churned. 'Wh-what?'

'I'll try,' she repeated. 'But I can't promise anyone else will believe me. There's a limit to what I can do, you know. Still, I think it might be useful for you to see if you could have a look at the surroundings of this building – just in case, of course. It's not like I'm going to help you escape, or something like that.' Those last words were almost whispered. In a louder tone she said, 'So I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Have a nice day.'

She winked at me before walking away.

_Now what?_


	4. Kate: I might as well enjoy life

**Kate**

'**I might as well enjoy life'**

Who would have thought that Sydney Melrose, who seemed like the most inhibited person in the known universe, would have a hot friend named Adrian Ivashkov? A friend who was not only hot, but also seemed like the kind of person not to shy away from a little rule-breaking? I certainly never thought that would happen, but when I found out, it was a nice bonus for my new life.

I had been in Sydney's body for a day and a half now and I was pretty sure that if I'd chosen anyone else – and I do mean _anyone_ – the takeover would have been much harder. After all, how many people kept a minute-to-minute account of their daily schedule? This girl was so organized, even I knew what to do all day.

Not that I was sticking to her schedule, of course. First of all, I knew no Latin, so doing that homework was impossible, but even more than that I just had to learn everything about her as soon as possible. She was apparently – and I do use this word very loosely – related to Eddie, princess Jillian _and _this Adrian. I knew that wasn't possible, though, which made for the interesting question: what _was _going on in Sydney's family?

'Sage, you look like something is bothering you,' Adrian said, leaning against an intensely yellow wall.

_Again someone calls me Sage. What's up with that? _I wondered. 'Oh, God, I don't know, maybe the fact that I was in the middle of an assassination only two days ago?' I said. I tried to raise one eyebrow, but it turned out Sydney's facial muscles weren't trained for that. Huh. I'd have to work on that – the raised eyebrow was kind of my signature. I wasn't sure if I could have conversations without it.

'I'd have thought a tough Alchemist like you is used to worse things,' he said. 'After helping someone escape from prison, what is one little assassination more or less?'

It took all my willpower to keep my expression neutral. _Helping someone escape from prison? That wasn't in my diary… _'Oh, well, you know. I just, er…' I noticed he was holding a glass of wine. It was a bit early and I still had to drive, but… 'Could you get me a glass of that?'

He looked at his glass, then back at me. He _could _raise one eyebrow. 'Are you sure?'

'Er, yes?'

'Well, then who am I to keep you off the path to debauchery,' he said. 'I'll be right back.'

Seconds after he left, the bell rang.

'I'll get it,' said Eddie, when Jill started to get up. He went downstairs and came back with a pretty, dark-haired dhampir girl by his side. Sydney probably knew her – the rest of the room certainly did. She and Eddie were talking animatedly, Angeline gave some sort of wave (she wasn't the best with social cues, it turned out) and Jill's mouth tightened, after which she went to the kitchen.

'Hello Sydney,' the dhampir said, smiling when she saw me. 'What's up?'

'Oh, you know, fine.' I shrugged. Now that I thought about it, she seemed familiar, but I couldn't recall where I'd last seen her. 'You?'

'Sort of. I should be at Court now, but _apparently _people thought it was necessary I came to investigate here, what with that attack and all,' she said. 'We need to talk about that in a sec, you don't mind, do you?'

'No, that's fine,' I said. 'What do you want to know?'

Adrian and Jill entered the room again. Adrian was holding two glasses, one of which he gave to me.

'Rose,' he said, acknowledging her with a little nod. 'What are you doing here?'

'Research. We're trying to see if you guys need to relocate,' she said. 'Probably not, though – that assassin, Peter Akkaditsch, was quite willing to talk. The girl less so, but I've complete faith we'll get what we want.'

To hide my unease, I took a sip of the wine. Rose noticed it and said, 'Isn't it a bit early?'

'It's the weekend,' Adrian countered.

'Yeah, I just… I didn't think Sydney liked alcohol,' she said.

I nearly spat out the wine. Coughing, I tried to come up with a response.

'Maybe she needs it. It's been a hard weekend for her,' said Adrian.

Rose nodded. 'Yes, undoubtedly. Still, if she's supposed to drive… It would kind of suck to have Jill die in a car crash after Eddie and Angeline so successfully held back an assassination attempt. Anyway, I've just been in the car for hours and then I had to talk to some complete retards…What's been going on here?'

'Nothing much,' said Jill. 'Nothing you don't already know, anyway.'

'How are things at Court?' Adrian asked. 'Lissa doing okay?'

'Yeah. Loads of stress, obviously, but she's handling it. Christian is the one having trouble with it, really; all that attention is driving him crazy. But if that motivates him to spend all his waking hours in the library, working on changing that law…' Rose shrugged.

Adrian made a 'humph'-y sound and drowned the rest of his wine. 'I'm gonna buy some cigs,' he said. 'Anyone else want anything?'

He looked around and when nobody reacted, he got his wallet and left the apartment. As it was his apartment, this made me feel a bit awkward, but the rest seemed to notice nothing wrong with it. Maybe this was our standard hanging-out spot?

'Sydney?' Rose said. 'Shall we… go to the kitchen and discuss things? It won't take long, I promise.'

'Oh, yeah, sure.' I followed her into the kitchen, taking another sip of my wine. I wondered _how _much Sydney didn't like wine; enough for this to be really strange behaviour or could I really say it was because of stress? Surely she had to drink once in a while. She was eighteen – everybody drinks alcohol when they're eighteen.

Right?

'This is just the red tape,' said Rose, getting a file and a pen from her bag. 'But everybody thought that, since I'm going here anyway…' She sighed. 'So, name, date of the incident…' She started writing, stopping after only one word. 'Have you any middle names?'

… _I don't know._

'No,' I said.

She froze for a second before she continued writing. 'All right. Sydney Sage, it happened two days ago, which makes it the… twenty-fourth… All right. Where did it happen?'

'On the interstate. I don't remember where exactly,' I said. 'That's probably with those Alchemists that came, though.' I waited until she'd written it down and asked, 'Do they know what's going to happen to those people?'

'Life sentence for the man, I think,' said Rose. 'Maybe shorter, as he didn't succeed. The girl? No idea. Not much, I think.' She contemplated for a second, the tip of the pen resting against her lips. 'No, to be fair, I've no idea how screwed accomplices are.'

'Not screwed enough,' I said vehemently.

She blinked. 'What?'

'Well, they're obviously crazy. Both of them. If she's partaking in something like that – something to kill someone as nice and sweet as Jill…' Not Jillian; nobody called her that, was something I'd soon noticed. 'It just makes me so _angry_, you know?'

'Yes, that's true,' said Rose. 'But I wouldn't worry about them not being severe enough – if there's anything last year taught me, it's that the Moroi community isn't one for the sissy punishments. So, okay, what happened Friday night?'

I couldn't answer her – I could only stare. For now I remembered where I recognized her from. This was the face I'd seen on the telly loads of times, a couple of months ago, when she was sought for the murder on the previous queen.

This was Rose Hathaway. The one who had escaped from the Moroi prison, the one –

_Wow, wait._

'_After helping someone escape from prison, what is one little assassination more or less?'_

It _couldn't _be that Sydney had helped Rose escape. Girls who put a cross in their diaries for when they were supposed to get their periods – they didn't help supposed murderers to get out of jail. I'd seen Sydney's clothes. No one with that much beige could ever participate as illegal as Rose Hathaway's escape.

_I really need to find out more about her past_, I realized. _What else has she got into?_

'Sydney? What happened Friday?' Rose asked.

I shook my head, trying to reassemble my thoughts. 'Sorry,' I mumbled. 'I was just… thinking of that night makes me a bit… It's not comfortable.' I took a swig of my wine, loving the slightly burning feeling it made as it went down my throat. 'But what happened is that we were sitting in the car - '

'"We" being you, Eddie, Jill and Angeline?' Rose asked, scribbling furiously.

'Yes. We were sitting in the car, and there was this girl standing by the road, so I stopped and she asked for directions - '

'She didn't want to hitchhike?'

'No. She just wanted directions, and then all of a sudden… Well, you know what happened then. This other Moroi guy suddenly start hacking into the window and then Eddie and Angeline took them on, and about an hour later, some Alchemists came to take them away.' I shrugged.

'How did they know something was going on?' Rose asked. She didn't take her eyes from the paper.

I didn't falter for a second. Though I hadn't been conscious when this happened, I'd checked Sydney's call log. Around the time of the attack, she'd called 'Alchemists - Riverside', which seemed obvious enough. 'I called them.'

'Okay… Are there any other details you could give me? I don't need their description – we've got those, if nothing else. But did you see anyone else, did they say anything suspicious… anything at all?'

I could only hope Peter had kept silent. 'No, that's it, really. It was all over really soon. You know how that goes.' I finished my wine and got up. 'Is this everything?'

Rose turned the sheet around. 'Ah… no. I need you to sign, here,' she said. She pointed at a box with the caption 'Witness's signature'. She handed me the pen and stepped aside to give me some room.

As I had no idea what Sydney's autograph was, I just wrote down 'Sydney' and crossed it twice. It looked authentic-ish. I hoped.

'Thanks, Sydney.' She folded the sheet in half and put it back in her bag. 'This bureaucracy sucks. Next time, you can do it.' Her gaze went through the small kitchen, until it rested on a tacky toaster with Superman on it. She walked over and picked it up. Turning to me, she said, 'God, remember that time in Poland, with the ice cream parlour?' She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I laughed. 'Oh, yes, ha-ha. That was the funniest,' I said. 'With the – hahaha.'

'That guy was _so _into you,' she said, stroking the toaster. 'What was his name again? Darren? Alex?'

'Oh… you know, it's really bad, but I actually don't remember,' I said, pretending to be embarrassed while silently freaking out. 'Wasn't it… I don't know, Lev? Pjotr? Something like that?'

'Lev! That's the one,' she said, smacking her forehead with her free hand. 'Of course.' She put the toaster back and said, 'It's good to see you again, Sydney. I'm staying over for a couple of days – we should totally meet up when you've time and aren't going to class and I've time and am not saving the world and all.'

'Totally!' I said. Was Sydney a 'Totally!'-person? Probably not.

'But I was just here to talk to you and see if everyone was okay. I doubt Adrian wants me in his house longer than necessary. You seem very at ease, though – I thought you didn't like Adrian.' She took a deep breath and picked up her bag. 'Are you coming?'

_Of course Sydney doesn't like Adrian_, I thought, bummed. _He's too relaxed for her to like him, I'm sure. Dammit. Well, I suppose that's about to change._

From the living room, I heard Eddie say, 'Are you leaving already?'

'Yeah, I've got a shitload of work to do and I want to do it quickly so I can have tonight off.'

'Sounds like a good plan,' Eddie said as I walked in. 'Do you need to talk to us about the entire thing, too, or…?'

'Yes, probably, but later. But with Sydney being an Alchemist and all, they said that had to be done as soon as possible, blah blah blah.' Rose gave him a quick hug. 'Well, everybody, hasta la vista, may the Force be with you, and I'll probably see you around the next couple of days.'

With those words, she left.

'Just in time,' Jill breathed. 'Adrian's coming back in, like, two minutes.'

'So he _did _leave to avoid her,' Eddie said. 'I wasn't sure.'

'He needed new cigarettes, too,' said Jill. 'But mostly to avoid her, yeah.'

_Cigarettes. _There was no way Sydney smoked – but maybe, if I met him outside… 'Guys? I think I'm going for a quick walk,' I said. 'I need to buy some things before we go back to Amberwood.' That was true. I didn't know what Sydney's pin was, but I definitely needed new stuff. 'I'll be back in, say, thirty minutes?'

'All right,' Eddie said. 'See you later.'

I went down the stairs. When I opened the door, I was hit by a wave of heat. Though I'd lived in California all my life, it was always during the night that I came out, when it was considerably cooler; even as a human, I wasn't completely comfortable with this much warmth.

Neither, it seemed, was Adrian, who was a Moroi walking in broad daylight. The poor boy. But he had cigarettes; there was little cigarettes didn't make better.

'Sage,' he called. 'What are you doing?'

'Going for a walk,' I said.

He stopped in the shade of a large palm tree. He was like the picture of sixties nonchalance, with his carefully unkempt hair and clothing, a cigarette hanging from his lips. The ultimate type Sydney wouldn't fall for.

Sydney wouldn't. But Kate might.

_After all, who is to say I can't have fun just because Sydney didn't?_

'Is she still up there?' he asked.

'Rose? No, she just left.'

He exhaled. 'Thank God.'

'Hmm. Hey, could I have one of those?'

He got the cigarette from his mouth. 'You are not referring to this cigarette, are you, Sage? After all, you know how many people die every day because of the bad things it does to your body,' he said, frowning, before inhaling once more.

'Oh, so what if I die at seventy-five instead of eighty?' I said. 'Those last five years will probably suck anyway. I might as well enjoy life while I'm young. And it's not like I'm not responsible enough in every other aspect of my life,' I added, because I thought it made me more Sydney-ish.

'I feel like you coming to my house has a bad influence on you,' he said, as he got a cigarette out of the package. Marlboro; not my favourite, but they'd do. 'First alcohol, now this.'

I accepted the cigarette. 'You got a lighter?'

Fumbling around in his pockets, he said, 'You do know you have to suck on it first?'

I rolled my eyes at him. 'Of course I know that,' I said. 'I'm not stupid.' I leaned forward and he lit the cigarette for me. I got a whiff of his scent; aftershave and cigarettes and gum. This boy was in serious danger of becoming Sydney's boyfriend – if Sydney hadn't ruined everything for me.

'You actually know how to inhale,' he said, sounding surprised when I took a drag off the cigarette. 'You keep surprising me, Sage.'

'I'm a woman of many mysteries,' I said.

'That you are,' he said. There was something in his eyes, in the amused air with which he looked at me, that told me Sydney have done a better job than I'd originally thought. Maybe all that diligence was just a façade to hide hidden coolness. She'd helped Rose escape, after all, and now… Adrian Ivashkov liked her?

'Well, I'll be off to buy some stuff,' I said. 'Thanks for the cigarette.' With a sly smile, I walked off.

Things were going far better than expected.


	5. Sydney: EAT THIS WHEN READ

**Sydney**

'**EAT THIS WHEN READ'**

By the time help came, I was near an emotional breakdown.

It had been three days since I got here and apart from the visit from Rose, nothing had happened. When I wasn't freaking out about the fact I was now one of the creatures I feared most, the boredom was overwhelming. Sometimes I was even scared and bored at the same time; with no new information to fuel my worries, I soon fell into repetition. I'd never thought fear could be this tiresome.

Someone cleared his throat a couple of feet away from me. It was a young man, not much older than me, with greasy blond hair and blue eyes that flitted nervously around the hallway. That wasn't what I noticed; what grasped my attention was that he didn't have a lily tattoo. This boy was neither an Alchemist nor a Moroi – what was he doing here?

'Miss Jekaterina Ivanova Miranova?' he asked.

That was me now. 'Yes?'

He bowed his head closer to me so his forehead was almost touching the metal bars of my cell. He gestured I should come closer. When I did, he got a small piece of paper from his pocket and gave it to me while he shook my hand.

'I'm the new cleaner,' he said. 'I thought I should introduce myself, if you're going to stay here long.' Still holding my hand, his gaze shifted from my face to our hands.

'Okay. Nice to meet you,' I said, sounding not half as confused as I felt. I retrieved my hand and unfolded the paper, but before I could read it, the boy spoke again.

'I've been sent by some… scary guy with fangs,' he whispered, stumbling over his words in his rush to get them out. 'He says he wants to help you escape and I'm supposed to… tell you. You should…' He closed his eyes; a vein in his neck pulsed faster than I thought was normal. 'You should wait until they bring you to your feeding. When you're in the hall, you should use… what was the word? Something with a C…'

I choked. 'Com-compulsion?'

'Yes, that. You should use that to make the guard give you money and lead you out and then to make him forget what happened. Then there will be a dark blue Prius waiting for you around the corner, in front of the 9/11. You have to take that, then drive over to the address that's in… somewhere in the car.' Sweat broke out on his forehead and he squeezed his eyes shut. 'On the passenger's seat, I think. Then on that other place, there's a new car waiting – but I don't know which – I – they didn't tell me which one that would be - '

He'd said enough for me to understand what was going on, at least on a basic level. That scary man with the fangs was probably Abe – I, too, would be terrified to forget anything if I were the one he chose to convey information. It seemed Rose _was _able to help me, after all.

'If he didn't say so, then you don't have to tell me,' I said. 'Is there anything else I need to know?'

'N-no. I don't… think so…' He blanched. 'Oh, crap, I'm supposed to clean!'

He turned away from my cell to grab a broomstick that was resting against the wall. The other prisoners – the assassin, who was named Peter, and another man I didn't know – jested at the boy for having a crush on 'Kate'.

I remembered the note in my hand and unfolded it. In typed letters, it said

USE COMPULSION ON THE MESSENGER TO MAKE HIM FORGET. EAT THIS WHEN READ

'You've got to be kidding me,' I muttered. I couldn't use compulsion – I just couldn't.

Not only because I was against magic and believed it was unnatural and should not be used when that could be prevented, although that made me squeamish as well. No, the reason I couldn't compel someone, whether t his messenger or the man who was supposed to bring me to my feeding, was… well, I couldn't. I just didn't know how it worked. It wasn't like I had any one to practice on.

I got the necessity of the compulsion. But an impossibility is an impossibility, no matter how crucial it might be to the plan.

Or so I thought.

But as it turned out, I thrived under pressure. That was no new information to me; I just hadn't thought it went this far. I couldn't help but think of the movie Adrian had dragged me to come see – _The Avengers_ it was called. It had been just a mindless action movie, failing the Bechdel test and every other criterion I had, but now one line came back to me: 'You've made me very desperate.' Ho ho, that was true.

'Hey – boy?'

The boy looked up from where he was sweeping the floor. 'Did I forget anything?'

'I want to ask you something,' I said.

'Ooh, Katie's getting interested,' said Peter. 'Good job, boy!'

'Shut it,' I snapped. Peter laughed, but I'd rather he thought I – Kate – whoever I was – was trying to flirt with this boy than that he knew the truth.

I tried to remember everything I'd ever read about compulsion. None of the Alchemists' sources told us much about how it worked – after all, Alchemists just wanted it to _stop_, it didn't matter much how they did it. I could only hope I was a natural at this.

'Yes, m-miss Miranova?'

'C'mere,' I said. _Okay. I have to make eye-contact. Make eye-contact… bingo. _I was peering into his eyes. He soon got an absent expression, his eyes turning glassy.

I suppressed a shudder of fear as I thought about the magic I was using now. 'Boy,' I said, because I didn't know his name, 'You are going to forget that we had this conversation. I am just one of the inmates. Nobody bribed or blackmailed you to come speak to me. O-Okay?' I wondered if I should add anything else. _If anyone asks, say you were here for Peter? _

_No. I shouldn't use any more magic than is strictly necessary. _

He nodded. 'Okay.'

'Good. Then you can… go to the loo now, and forget we had this conversation.' I blinked, hoping that would be the end of the magic I could feel flowing through me – but no such luck. The boy still looked as remote as before, except that he was now heading for the door.

I eyed the paper in my hand. _Eat this when read. _This really was like a police drama.

_What have I got myself into?_ I wondered, as I tore the paper and started chewing it.

.

The next day Peter was taken away for a feeding. He was excited about it – he had been telling me and the other inmate, 'Billy', about it for hours, saying how much he longed for a good feeding, how he was through with the normal food. I was supposed to go after him.

My stomach churned and no matter how many times I swiped my hands off on my pants, they became sweaty all over again. When Peter left through the door, escorted by a male Alchemist, I knew I had only twenty more minutes. Twenty minutes in which I had to prepare myself for an escape.

I wondered if I should do it on my way _to _or _from _the feeding. After the feeding made more sense; this body needed the blood. Without it I was feeling weak, despite the meal I'd been given whilst here. On the other hand… if I went to the feeding, I would have to feed off humans. I would have to _bite _someone and then drink their blood.

There was no way I could do that.

Then again, wasn't that the exact same thing I'd said about compulsion? And I'd done that.

I closed my eyes and thought about what drinking from a human would mean. It was far worse than magic; it was what marked Moroi as the wrong creatures they were. It would make me a cannibal. My entire being was telling me that it was _wrong_, yet somehow, I still doubted. Maybe, to get some strength…

I still hadn't decided when the Alchemist and Peter came back. Peter looked better than he did the few times I'd seen him; happier, healthier, hopeful for the first time since he got here. He made going for the feeding so appetizing…

'All right, your turn,' the Alchemist said. He opened the door to my cell and gestured for me to get up. When I did, he took a step backwards, a wary expression on his face. For a moment I felt the urge to grab his hand, just to see how he'd react, but that wouldn't do me any favours.

The moment we got out of the hall, the interior became more comfortable. The white empty walls were replaced with a light yellow and paintings of sea views. Instead of a maddening silence there was soft music – Brahms, if I was correct. The sound reminded me of home.

He led me through a maze of book cases desks, most of which were empty. There was only a woman who looked in her fifties, working her way through a pile of books. Her lily tattoo was the only colour about her.

I waited until we had passed her and I could see the telephone that I'd used to call Rose. Behind it was a glass door leading to a staircase.

I placed my hand on the Alchemist's arm. He jerked and turned around, his eyes wide with fear, but I just smiled. I kept his gaze and this time, it went easier than before. Within a second the lines in the Alchemist's face smoothed out and his lips curled up in a smile.

'You're going to give me money,' I said softly, hoping the woman would not hear us. 'A couple of hundred dollars, preferably. Then you're going to show me the door, turn back, and pretend nothing strange is going on. When anyone asks, you will tell them you brought me to the feeding and that you brought me back after. In… thirty minutes, you will cause the fire alarm to be set off,' I added. 'Then you will spread the news that I escaped during the evacuation.' I glanced around, but nobody appeared; could it be I was getting out of this, just like that?

I noticed the surveillance camera in t he corner. _Shit. _'You will also destroy all surveillance tapes from the last week,' I said, thinking back of my talk with Boy. 'It will look like an accident. That is all.'

He nodded. Stiffly, like a robot, he walked over to a desk. A beige trench coat was slung over the chair, and the Alchemist reached into the pockets. He retrieved a leather wallet and took out several bills. Then he put the wallet back in the pocket and came over to me.

I snagged the money from his fingers, taking only a second to check how much it was. They were all hundred-dollar bills; I figured it should be enough to keep me going for a while, no matter what the rest of the plan was.

Still in a daze, he showed me the door. 'Have a nice day, Miss Miranova,' he said.

'Thank you. And remember, destroy those tapes, you didn't see me, nothing suspicious happened during the feeding,' I said. I turned around and rushed down the stairs, grateful for the sneakers Jekaterina had chosen to wear on the day she was going to kill Jill.

The Levin & Hart building wasn't just for Alchemists; it seemed we were on the fourth floor. The other companies using this building had to be wealthy, for most of them had very nice offices, I noticed. Still, even without compulsion this building was a lot easier to escape than Rose's prison had been.

It was unbelievable that in less than a year, I'd been involved with two prison breaks. All my life I'd been following the rules, and now this.

When I got outside, I staggered with the intensity of the sun. The light hurt my eyes. Blinking, I looked around, trying to remember where that dark blue Prius was supposed to be. The street was packed with people, ranging from grandmothers with babies in prams, to teenage boys on a shopping trip. I tried to be discrete as I blended into the masse.

Around the corner I soon saw the car. I let out a sigh of relief before I realized one important detail: I didn't have a key. It couldn't be that they had just left the car like this, not when it could be stolen at any time, but…

But they had.

I opened the door and stepped in. It smelled like new car; the rich smell of leather filled the small space. I couldn't enjoy it, though. My attention was focused on a pile of papers lying on the passenger's seat. While I turned the key in the ignition, I got the papers and read through the carefully laid-out plan. There was an ID for 'Melanie Waldstock' attached to the last page.

I was supposed to drive a couple of miles, to a place where a new car would be waiting for me. Before I took off with that one to a motel in the outskirts of Riverside, I was supposed to drop into a store and buy – I squinted. No, they had really used that word. I had to buy a 'disguise'. Somehow, I couldn't shake the image of myself – as Sydney, not Jekaterina – wearing a fake moustache and a green feathered hat.

Driving that car was the strangest experience. Despite my desire to get away from Levin & Hart as soon as possible, before they figured out what was going on, I knew I had to abide the traffic laws. Getting pulled over was _really _not something I had time for right now.

Every time I saw a cop, my heart skipped a beat. I made it to the place where my new car should be waiting without any incidents. Taking the stack of papers with me, I got out and locked the Prius. My new car was just as inconspicuous as the first; a dark reddish-brown, with just enough mud on it to make it look used. It was a car nobody would look twice at.

I went down to a tourist's shop and bought my 'disguise': a baseball cap, a pair of sunglasses, a scarf and a map. At the last moment, I added a tacky gold cross on a chain to my load. I hoped I could pass for a tourist if anyone bothered to ask. Then I took my new car to the motel that was mentioned in the paper.

I was now officially a fugitive.


	6. Kate: The hot shot of the town

**Kate**

'**The hot shot of the town'**

Taking over someone's body was never bound to be easy. I got lucky in some departments – whether she was a criminal or not, Sydney was very organized. I knew what I was supposed to do on any part of the day, which made it easier to pretend I was her.

Other things were more difficult. School was one of those things. Like I'd feared when I first saw Sydney's timetable, she had a lot of difficult classes. I'd only had two years of French; I couldn't do advanced Greek. Or German. Sydney could, I had no doubt; every time the teacher asked a question and nobody knew the answer, they looked at me, as if I was some sort of walking encyclopaedia.

I was supposed to be in Greek now, but after the disaster yesterday's class had turned out to be, I didn't want to waste that time again. I'd ask to be put into another class, saying I wanted something more useful than Greek.

The sun felt strange on my skin as I loitered on the rooftop of my building, a cigarette between my fingers. Having a diurnal schedule was strange, but something I could get used to; it was nice to see natural light for a change.

Taking a drag from the cigarette, I looked down at the campus. Nobody was there – everybody else had classes. I could see the fields for PE class in the distance, and the moving figures of my fellow students entranced me. They were so blissfully unaware of what was hiding in their world. Most of them had no idea that vampires existed, let alone that they attended school with a vampire and two dhampirs. Or a former vampire who was now a human.

_I'm a human_, I thought, mesmerized. _A human. A snack._

Despite the perk of getting out during the day, being a human was a lot like being a vampire, except that I didn't have to drink blood anymore and that I had no access to my magic. It was a small price to pay for this life, but I missed the ability to see what others were feeling, to have that control over them. I wondered what Sydney would do with that magic; not much, probably. She wouldn't know how to use it.

I reached into my bag and got out Sydney's diary. In the last few days, I'd leafed through it endlessly, hoping to discover more about Sydney's social life, but she hadn't written anything about her friends. Not that she didn't have them – two girls who weren't part of Jillian's protection joined me for lunch yesterday – but it would've been nice to know something about them. Improvisation only got me so far.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. One eye still on the diary, I got out the phone and checked the caller ID. 'Jared Sage' it said.

I pressed 'accept' and held the phone to my ear. 'Hello, this is Sydney,' I said.

'Sydney, it's your father,' a rough voice at the other end of the line said. I almost dropped the diary as I sat up straighter, my heart beating in my throat, before I remembered something: This wasn't my father. He was Sydney's. There was no need for me to panic.

'Oh, hey dad,' I said. 'How are you?'

'I just wanted an update,' he said. 'I heard the vampire girl was attacked. How did that go? Why didn't you inform me of this immediately?'

'I… I was very confused. Didn't I call you? I must've forgotten,' I stuttered. 'But things here are great. Everything's under control.'

'If there's an attack on your protégée that means not everything is under control. You have been given this responsibility as a chance to redeem yourself, do you understand that? Just because you rounded up those dealers doesn't mean you can lay back and relax now.'

'No, of course not, but… There isn't much known yet about the attack,' I said. 'They – those attackers – they haven't said anything yet. If anything worthwhile had happened, I would've told you, of course. I just thought that… calling you now would be… Well, you know.' I extinguished the cigarette on the concrete of the roof. 'Dad, please don't worry. That attack was a one-off; I won't let it happen again.'

'You weren't supposed to let it happen _at all_.'

'I know that, but it was an accident, all right! How was I supposed to know that girl was crazy?'

'You shouldn't have stopped at all, Sydney. Alchemists don't have accidents – incapable Alchemists just make mistakes and if they make too many, they suffer the consequences. I hope I have at least taught you _that_.'

'I… Yes.'

'Yes, _sir_. I won't have you become impolite as well as incompetent.'

'I'm sorry, sir. I…. This phone call is at a really bad time for me,' I said. 'My break is almost over, I should head to class. When… When I know more, I will let you know, of course. Sir.'

'You'd better, Sydney. Don't disappoint me again.'

He hung up and I was left staring at the phone. Jared Sage didn't strike me as a nice man who would bake me cookies for my birthday (not that I knew when that was). I had a foul taste in my mouth that had nothing to do with the cigarette. It was the feeling I always got when I'd disappointed someone, even though I hadn't disappointed anyone this time. Sydney had.

_Alchemists don't make mistakes_, he'd said. How was I supposed to respond to that when I still hadn't figured out what an Alchemist was?

And his name had been Jared Sage. If he was my father, shouldn't that make me Sydney Sage? After all, Adrian did call me 'Sage'; maybe we were on a last-name base? That didn't explain why I was called Sydney Melrose here; then again, here I also claimed to be related to Eddie _and _Jillian, which was impossible.

So if I just assumed 'Melrose' wasn't Sydney's real name – why did she lie about that? Why was she, a human, involved in Jillian's protection at all?

My hand traced the contours of the lily tattoo. I wasn't sure, but I vaguely remembered those other humans – the ones who had taken 'Kate' away – to have the same tattoo. If that was something that had to do with Alchemists…

It was getting time I researched that. I groaned; I hated research. That was part of the reason why I'd dropped out of high school to get a job instead. Little had I known that I would return to high school, only at a much higher level.

At least now I had something to do during the hour I was supposed to 'help Terwilliger'. As I made my way down the stairs to get to PE, I wondered where I would find something about those Alchemists. Would _Google _help or was this subject too obscure for an average search engine?

If that was the case, I'd have to log in to Sydney's computer. I'd tried that before, only to find it locked with a password. Now it was a matter of either guessing that password or going through a _very_ intensive search of Sydney's possessions in the hope she'd written it down somewhere.

The odds weren't looking good.

Pondering possible passwords, I walked to the tennis fields. _Sage_ followed by her date of birth? The name of her old pet? An ex-boyfriend? Some obscure literary character only she had ever heard of, followed by the date the Egyptians elected their eighteenth pharaoh and a question mark?

'Hey – where were you? I didn't see you in Greek,' said one of Sydney's friends. She had tousled blond hair and was handing me a tennis racket. 'You're not telling me that you're ditching classes, are you?' She laughed at the thought.

'Of course not,' I said, taking the racket and swinging it back and forth. I was ready to hit some balls – hard. 'I didn't feel too well. Did I miss anything?'

'Nah, not really. It broke Johnson's heart, but he'll get over it. Eventually. Oi, Kristin!' She waved at another girl – a good friend, I assumed, as I saw them together a lot. 'What do you say about you and Micah against me and Sydney?'

Showing up for PE turned out to be useful. I learnt the names of some of Sydney's friends – Julia, Kristin and Micah. At the end of the class, when I was dressed and getting ready to do some research on Alchemists, my phone rang again.

'Someone's popular,' said Kristin.

'You know me – the hot shot of the town,' I said. I accepted the call without looking at the caller ID. 'Hello, this is Sydney, how may I help you?'

'Miss Sage, something has happened,' said a female voice I didn't recognize. 'One of the attackers of last Friday has escaped.'

My fingers went numb. I stood frozen to the ground as I tried to make sense of what she said. 'I – sorry, what did you say? Escaped?' I caught Julia giving me a worried look and smiled at her before turning away.

'Yes, it happened about half an hour ago – the fire alarm went off and she must've left when we were evacuating the building.'

I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself from shaking. 'She?'

'Yes, it's the girl. We should've had more security, but we didn't expect them to… Well, we didn't expect them to escape. They both seemed very complacent, so I just don't understand… '

'She's crazy,' I said. 'You wouldn't understand someone like her.'

'No, you're right, I wouldn't. Now, I don't think you'll have to worry much about it – I doubt she'll come near you or the Dragomir princess any time soon. The girl probably just wanted to escape and we'll find her within hours. Of course, I'll let you know when that's happened and until then, I can only ask you to be careful and keep an eye on the princess.'

'Of course. Yes, I will. You'll catch her soon? Are you sure?'

'Positive. The girl can't have come very far, it's the middle of the day and she has no experience with this. We do. Loads. We'll have this all sorted out before you even have time to worry about it.'

'Yes. Of course you will,' I said.

'That was everything, I suppose. I will let you know when we have new information. Bye.'

A scream welled up in my throat, but I repressed it. My hands were shaking as I put the phone back in my pocket.

_She's escaped. The girl has escaped. Oh, crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap._

I jumped up when someone touched my shoulder.

'Sydney?' Julia asked. 'Are you okay?'

I turned around and smiled. The corners of my mouth were trembling, but it was a smile. 'Yeah, I'm fine. I just… had a weird phone call. I'm sorry, I need to find my brother and sister.' I swung my bag over my shoulder and took off.

This was seriously not good.


	7. Sydney: Oh, you'll 'just' make a cut

**Sydney**

'**Oh, you'll "just" make a cut'**

A knock on the door made my heart skip a beat. _They've found me. The game is over already. So much for - _

'Sydney?' a familiar voice called. 'It's Dimitri.'

Despite my intuition telling me it was safe, I got up from the bed and checked the peephole. Upon seeing Dimitri, I opened the door. I felt dizzy as I pushed down the door handle. I'd spent the last two hours semi-asleep on one of the two beds, but still the fatigue was overwhelming. I tried to tell myself it was just the stress, maybe the exposure to the sun, but images from Jill after PE kept popping up.

Dimitri looked taken aback when he saw me, but recovered quickly. 'It's strange to think you're Sydney,' he said. He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him, while I went to sit on the bed. I noticed he has a backpack on him.

'Rose told you what's going on?' I said.

He nodded. 'She seemed pretty certain about it and usually when Rose is on to something like this, she's right. You shouldn't have called me, though; I would never have believed you.' He smiled as he unpacked the backpack, laying the contents out on the other bed.

'I thought you wouldn't. I didn't think anyone would, really,' I said, staring up at the ceiling. 'But Rose was my best shot. How did you arrange everything about the escape, though? Did Abe have anything to do with that?'

'You guessed it. I don't know if Rose really convinced him or he just wanted to get into her good books… But he provided the cars and the fake ID.'

'Have you – do you know what is happening to my body?' That was something I'd had more than enough time to worry about when I was in jail. Because me being in this body was only half the problem; there was also someone else in _my _body and I wanted her out.

'She doesn't do anything strange,' said Dimitri. 'I haven't heard of her running away or something like that. Rose had a chat with her, said she behaved very un-Sydney-like.'

'Rose spoke with her?'

'Yes, after she saw you in jail, she went over to Adrian's, where your body was.' He retrieved the last item from his bag – a home-kit for dyeing your hair. 'Shall we have the rest of the conversation while we're turning your hair into the lovely colour of…' He glanced at the name. '"Middle chocolate brown"?'

I sat up, frowning. 'Why would we dye my hair?'

'Are you kidding me? That colour's far too obvious; it'll be the first thing they're looking out for,' he said. 'This should help you blend in.'

I took a lock of the red hair between my fingers and studied it. I had to admit, he was right about it being obvious. I'd wanted to wash it when I got here, but I simply hadn't had the energy, so it was still greasy. I remembered how it had been when I first saw Jekaterina, though: fiery and beautiful.

Well, that was about to end.

'All right,' I said. I got up as Dimitri opened the kit. Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the only chair in the room, my hair piled on top of my head. The entire room reeked of the hair dye, a smell that wouldn't have been as pronounced to me if I'd still been a human.

'What else has been going on?' I said when Dimitri came back from the bathroom, where he'd thrown away the plastic gloves that he'd used to massage the dye into my hair.

'They were working on the case – didn't you get a lawyer?'

I shook my head. 'No. At least, _I_ didn't. I used my one phone call for Rose. Maybe that other guy – Peter – maybe he did. I didn't really talk to him. But other than that case? Do you know anything about what my body's doing, apart from that conversation she had with Rose?'

'Nothing. That's a good sign,' he said, when my face fell. 'At least it means she isn't doing anything very peculiar to get "you" in trouble and, of course, you know where she is. I have no idea how body-changing works, but I assume it helps if the other body is near.'

'Probably, yeah.' I thought back of how the first switch had happened; she had grabbed my hand. Right now, that was all I knew about body-changing. 'Okay, so she hasn't done anything weird. That's… that's good. I guess.' I sighed and suppressed a moan. Why was I so tired? It wasn't like I'd done anything while I was in jail…

'Sydney? Is something the matter?'

'No, I'm just… not feeling very well.' I rested my elbows on the small desk and held my face in my hands. 'Probably from all the stress, I should be fine after some sleep. So, do you know anything about who I am now? I've heard my name a couple of times, but other than that…'

He shook his head. 'I haven't had time to look it up yet. Do you think the Alchemists have any records of her?'

'Maybe. I can't check unless you've brought a laptop with you,' I said. With a pang of regret I remembered my own laptop, lying in my room at Amberwood. Unused since I 'left', unless Jekaterina had guessed my password, which I doubted.

'I have, actually,' he said. 'We can check that when you're done.' He checked his watch. 'How much longer? Ten minutes?'

Twenty minutes later I'd washed all the dye from my hair. Though it was impossible to know how it'd turned out when it was still wet, my hair looked a lot darker than before. Dimitri hadn't brought a brush with him, so I was left with messy, wet, dark hair.

Dimitri had turned on the laptop. 'Can you log in to the Alchemists' files from this computer, you think?'

'Yeah – they're supposed to be available from every computer, if you know the right passwords and codes,' I said. I tried to keep my head clear as I logged in, shielding my progress from Dimitri. Much as I liked him, for a dhampir at least, I couldn't risk him knowing these Alchemist secrets.

'I'm in,' I said, as a sign he could watch again. I typed in 'Jekaterina Ivanova Miranova' and we both waited while the results loaded.

It turned out that Jekaterina grew up near Los Angeles. She was nineteen years old, a Moroi, her father was named Ivan Aleksejvitsch Miranov and she had a sister, Natasha. She once got in trouble for being drunk in public and of course for the attack on Jill. Other than that: nothing. She didn't belong to the social circles that got mentioned in the newspaper often and she hadn't made enough problems to get in serious trouble with the police. She was just one of the many Moroi that never really caught the Alchemists' interest, though that was likely to change after my escape.

'That was unhelpful,' I muttered, closing the laptop. I leaned back into the pillows, but it didn't stop the world from spinning. This was getting out of hand; I couldn't get ill _now_. I hardly ever got sick and neither did Jekaterina; her medical record held basically no information. But maybe that just meant she never went to the hospital; she didn't strike me as the richest of people.

'Sydney, are you _sure _you're okay?' Dimitri asked, scrutinizing me. 'Have you eaten lately?'

'Not since breakfast. But I've hardly moved these past couple of days. I was just… sitting there.' I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. 'I should have some reserves stacked away.'

'And the other eating?'

My stomach flipped. Clenching my eyes shut, I said, 'No, I haven't done that. And I won't.'

The mattress bounced a bit as he sat down on it. 'You do realize that you'll have to, now that you're Moroi?'

'I don't have to. I won't.'

'You'll have to. It would be like starving if you don't,' he said. 'You can hardly expect to get your own body back if you're starving yourself first. This won't help anything.'

I opened my eyes and frowned at him. 'I think you don't understand why I'm not going to drink human blood. It's not because I want to starve Jekaterina's body. It's because I can't drink human blood. It's… that's wrong, and I won't do it. I won't. You can't make me.'

He looked unimpressed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. 'How long do you think you will be able to go on like this? Like you said, you hardly moved at all these past few days. And maybe this body is tough. But if you haven't eaten since Friday – that's four days now. This body won't hold out, you know.'

Theoretically I knew his words to be true. However, what he said had to do with Moroi, with vampires, and I was human. It just couldn't be that I drank a human's blood. I would rather die than do something like that.

'Of course it can,' I said. 'I'll just eat a lot of fruit and bread and whatnot. I won't need the blood. And anyway, where were you planning on _finding _that blood? We can hardly go up to a random person and ask them if they mind having a demon suck their blood out.' My voice became high with the hysteria I tried and failed to suppress.

A wry smile flitted across his face. 'I suppose that's what I'm here for,' he said. He held out his arms as if he was going to embrace me.

My eyes almost bugged out of my head at the mere thought. 'I'm _sorry?_'

'Sydney, I'm almost two metres. I've more than enough blood to keep you fed and still be strong,' he said. Anyone hearing that tone would think he was being perfectly reasonable, but he _wasn't. _He couldn't be serious when saying this; it was so, so _wrong_.

A shudder ran down my spine when I thought of what this meant. Despite denying it, I knew he had a point and that I had to drink blood at some point. And of course it was only convenient for him to be here, aware of the situation and, like he said, with more than enough blood for the both of us. But I couldn't – shouldn't – wouldn't drink his blood.

'Dimitri, I can't do this,' I said. To my utter horror, my voice shook. 'I can't drink your blood.' My eyes wandered to his neck, where his carotid artery was visible through his pale skin. I couldn't just bite him and – and drink his blood, could I?

Couldn't I?

No, I couldn't.

He grabbed my arm and forced me to look at me. Holding my gaze, he said, 'Sydney. This is all very simple. No matter how much you hated this when you were a human, you're in a Moroi body now. If you don't drink blood, you'll die. Or at least be too weak to do anything about the current situation. I understand that you've got problems with it, but really, now is _not _the right time.'

I flinched at his harsh words. 'I know that. But… is there really no other way? _Any _other way?' As I spoke, I thought of everything I'd read about Moroi feeding habits. Not once had I come across someone saying 'Tomato juice does the trick just fine' or 'It's all between the ears, really'. If anything, my current physical state reminded me that it was not just a mental problem – this_ body_ needed the blood.

'This has to be a new situation,' Dimitri muttered. 'A Moroi body that's not eating because of ethical issues. At least now I'm sure you're really Sydney.' He laughed humourlessly. 'You do understand that it's necessary, don't you?'

I nodded. 'But I don't want to.'

'In that case, you should just see it as when your mother told you to eat your vegetables,' he said. 'Unpleasant, but healthy. Shall we just get this over with now?'

He compared biting him to eating vegetables. It would almost be funny if this wasn't happening to me. 'Well… I… don't know how and where to bite,' I said. I knew I was procrastinating, but my stomach felt queasy at the thought. 'I wouldn't want to… bite the wrong part of you.'

He thought for a moment, and then he reached into his bag and got out a knife. 'What do you say if I just make a cut and you drink from that?'

'Oh, you'll "just" make a cut,' I said. 'No, then it's fine. Fine, fine, fine, absolutely _fantastic._'

He placed a hand on my shoulder. 'Are you getting hysterical? Do you need me to slap you?'

I shook my head. 'Let's just… get this over with,' I said, choking.

He slit the knife across the skin of his wrist. The blood that welled up managed to be terrifying and appetizing at the same time. My body didn't think – didn't listen to me. After four or more days going without blood, the body was desperate. I brought my mouth to his wrist and sucked.

And oh, it was so good. Warm and tasty, filling me with happiness. It was the first time in days that I felt satisfied.

Too soon, Dimitri pulled his wrist away. I blinked, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

'That wasn't so bad, was it?' he said.

_Sydney, stay calm_, I told myself. _This is a necessity. Your soul won't – they'll understand. _

_But I _liked _it…_

I tried to shake the thoughts from my head. 'No, it wasn't bad,' I whispered. 'I, er… I think I'd like to go to sleep now.'

He nodded and cleared away his stuff from the other bed. A couple of minutes later he turned off the lights and I could hear his soft snoring.

It took me hours to finally fall asleep.


	8. Kate: Lock them away when you need to

**Kate**

'**lock them away when you need to'**

'Jill, we need to tell you something.' I felt like a mother who was about to announce she was getting a divorce from Jill's father. But really, how else was I supposed to introduce this topic? And it wasn't like Eddie was helping so much; he was just standing there, looking around for anyone who might come and kill Jill. That was unnecessary, of course; the last thing on the escapee's mind would be to hurt Jill.

Jill looked up from the book she was reading. 'Oh?'

Eddie gave me a slight push forward. After glaring at him, I put on my most compassionate expression and sat down on the bed. I wondered if I should hold her hand, but then decided that would be overkill. 'Yes. I just hard a bad phone call…'

Her eyes grew big and _she _was the one to grab _my _hand. 'They're not sending you away, are they?' she said. 'They can't. I mean, you couldn't help that attack – that wasn't your fault! You should stay, I can ask them if you can…'

It took me a second to understand what she was getting at. Then I remembered the phone call with my 'father'; was the chance of Sydney being sent away really that big?

'No, no, don't worry about that,' I said, squeezing her hand. 'I'm not being sent away.'

She relaxed and let go of my hand. 'Oh. I thought… Oh. But then what is going on?'

'I got this phone call…' I looked over my shoulder at Eddie, who grabbed the bureau chair and placed it next to Jill's bed. Sitting backwards, so his arms were resting on the chair's back rest, he said, 'That girl who was involved with the attack has escaped.'

Jill became even paler. Looking from Eddie to me, she said, 'You're not serious, are you?' When neither of us replied, her mouth twitched, as if she was holding back laughter, except that the expression of pure terror on her face told us she didn't think this was funny in the least. 'Aren't you?'

'I'm sorry, Jill,' said Eddie. 'She escaped yesterday.'

'And she still hasn't been found?'

'Not that we know of,' I said. 'But that doesn't mean anything. She's just gotten lucky until now. Anyone can be on the run for twenty-four hours. Longer than that, though? That takes some skill, and I doubt she has that.' I tried not to think of how Sydney had more experience with escaping from prison than I'd known at first. Maybe she picked up some useful tips when Rose was on the run.

'You really don't have to worry,' said Eddie.

'I don't?'

'No. We won't let het hurt you. Even if it takes a while to find her – which it won't – but if it did, she wouldn't be able to come even near you. They might've lapsed in your surveillance, but I can assure you your protection won't fail.' This time he grabbed her hand, holding it in both of his. 'I won't let anything happen to you.'

She smiled timidly. 'I know that.'

I wondered if I should leave them alone; Eddie looked about ready to propose, were it not for the awkward position he was in. That _would _be the funniest; to have the Dragomir princess, one of the most important people in modern Moroi society, be in a relationship with her guardian. I could already imagine the outrage that would cause.

She pulled back her hand. 'So they are searching for her? Who is "they"?'

'The Alchemists and the guardians, too,' said Eddie. Yesterday evening, he'd got a call from Rose, who had explained the situation to him; he'd told me some of what she'd said, but I was still surprised when he said, 'Some of the best guardians are out there. And by "some of the best", I mean Dimitri Belikov and others.'

Jill let out a surprised gasp. 'You're kidding,' she said. 'Dimitri is – oh. Wow.'

'Not just him,' he said. 'Others too, but I doubt they'll be necessary.'

'Yeah, me too. Dimitri is… Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better.' She didn't say it sarcastically, the way I would have; she seemed genuinely comforted by the thought Dimitri was looking out for 'Kate', though the expression of fear didn't leave her face altogether.

_I might want to find out more about Dimitri too,_ I thought, though if he was hunting for Kate, I had no doubt I'd meet him sooner or later.

'But she escaped?' said Jill. 'How?'

'The fire alarm went off – they think she set it off, but they don't know how – and during the evacuation, she left,' said Eddie. 'Cells open automatically when the alarm is set off.'

'Maybe she was a fire user,' said Jill. 'She could've set off the smoke detectors like that.' Pulling up her legs, she wrapped her arms around her knees. With her blond hair and frightened face, it was impossible to think people would try to hurt her.

_Way to make you feel bad about yourself_, I thought, wondering where that thought came from. _You're not Kate anymore, remember? You're Sydney now. _Kate _tried to hurt Jill. _Sydney _is trying to calm her and cheer her up._

_Also, Sydney is going for a cigarette._

'Guys, I need to go to the bathroom,' I said, getting up from the bed. 'I'll be back in a couple of minutes, okay?'

I grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom. Once there, I closed the door behind me and stepped onto the toilet seat. With some difficulty I wrenched open the window. I hadn't checked, but I was sure smoking was prohibited at Amberwood – it was that kind of place. So wasn't I lucky to have gone through this already at my past high school and during my jobs?

I got the packet of cigarettes and a lighter from my bag. After the first drag I felt my body calm. Looking out of the window, making sure the cigarette smoke wouldn't set off the smoke detectors, I let my mind wander.

'Kate, Kate, where are you?' I said. I scanned the school grounds, as if my old body would appear and force me to take it back. 'How did you escape? Why? Nobody is going to believe you.'

I tried to picture where Sydney was right now, what she was doing. Was she undercover somewhere, trying to solve the mystery of what had happened? Was she on the run, hiding in dumpsters? How would she get money?

The Kate-body _was _quite pretty. I supposed that if she was really desperate, she could always sell my – her - the body to creepy old men desperate for a fun time. She probably wouldn't, though; not when she attended a school like Amberwood. She would never stoop that low.

Or at least, not just yet.

_Where will she find blood?_ Even _if _she somehow got hold of some money, that still wouldn't buy her access to that other kind of food she would need. Maybe she'd feed off someone who wouldn't remember – a junkie, for instance. If she knew how.

Not that it would be an issue. They'd find her soon enough and then she'd have feeders. And _then _she'd be in jail for a couple of years and she wouldn't have to worry about money, either.

I threw the cigarette end out of the window and got off the toilet. Keeping my expression composed, I walked back to the room Jill shared with Angeline. I'd expected to see Eddie still there, maybe embracing Jill, but when I got to the room, Jill was the only one there.

'Hey… where'd Eddie go?' I said, taking Eddie's empty seat.

'I told him I wanted to be alone for a sec,' said Jill.

'Oh.'

I started to get up, but Jill said, 'No, Sydney, please stay. I said I wanted to be alone, but actually I don't want to be, if you get what I mean? Probably not. You never seem to have issues like that. It must be great, to have so much control over your emotions. To just… lock them away when you need to.'

I thought back to hours I'd spent in my room, crying and wanting to be someone else. Or the many outbursts I'd had, shouting at my father, my sister, my boyfriend… 'Locking away my emotions' was never something I was very good at. Rather, I always thought I had too many of them.

'Really, Jill, that's… I'm not that calm,' I said. 'I'm stressed and scared all the time, too. That's natural. Especially in your phase of life and with everything that's been going on…'

Jill smiled. Her eyes were wet. 'Yeah, that's what Eddie said, too. Doesn't change how I feel, though.'

'True. Very true. But that'll pass, really.'

She nodded and then tears started flowing down her face. She wiped them away, saying, 'Sorry, I… don't know why I'm crying. I haven't been sleeping well, and Adrian's been just stressed because Rose is back and everything is just so much and I have loads of homework but I can't finish it because I can't concentrate and I just want to go back to St.-Vladimir's and be normal but I can't and I just want to be normal again and…'

I didn't catch the end, as she was sobbing so hard it was difficult to decipher what she was saying, but I knew what I had to do. I got off from the chair and wrapped my arms around Jill, the way my mom used to when she was still alive. Stroking her hair, I murmured some useless words that were meant to be soothing.

Jill answered the hug, clinging on to me. We sat like that for a couple of minutes, until Jill pushed me away and brushed her tears away again.

'I'm sorry,' she said in a small voice. 'I'm just a bit emotional right now. I think I'm about to have my period.'

'This is nothing to apologise about,' I said, rubbing my hand along her arm. 'We all have those moments.'

'Even you?'

'Even me.'

Jill took a deep breath to steady herself. 'Sorry again. Even though you think I shouldn't apologise. I just… do that when I get emotional. Sorry abou - ' She caught herself and smiled awkwardly. 'Well, you… get the point, I guess.'

'Yeah. Jill, I know this is hard for you, but you really don't have to worry. I get that you're scared, but nothing is going to happen to you. Eddie won't let it happen, I won't let it happen…' I stared into her eyes, trying to convey my sincerity.

_You're such a lying bitch._

_I'm not. I'm Sydney. I won't let anything hurt her._

I forced a smile on my face. 'The people who tried to attack you are behind bars, or will be again very soon. The rest of the world doesn't know you're here. In a few months, the whole issue with Lissa will be sorted out, and you won't even be a target anymore. You've just got to toughen up until then, okay?'

'Yeah, I know. I w ill. I just… it was just a bit too much for me just now. But I'm fine now.' She picked up her book and ran her thumb through the pages. 'I'm really glad you're here, Sydney,' she said, not looking at me.

'So am I. And you know that if you need anything – a shoulder to cry on, someone to get you some water, anything – you can always ask me.'

_You bitch. You _bitch. _Only days ago you were fine with her dying._

I ignored the voice in my head, focusing on Jill's face instead. 'I'm here for you, okay Jill?'

She nodded. 'I know. And I'm here for you, too, if you ever need that.' She took another deep breath and said, 'Sydney? I appreciate the hug and everything, but I think I need to call Adrian for a moment. Would you mind…?'

'No, no, I get it. Say hi to Adrian for me.' I pecked her on the cheek, to her and my astonishment, and then left the room. Walking upstairs to my own room, I was filled with contentment; I'd cheered Jill up. She needed me. Someone needed me, and not because I needed to do something, but because they needed me to be.

_She doesn't need you. She needs Sydney. This is only worse than before; praising yourself because she needs you, when you've taken away the one she really needs. _

My hands shook as I opened the door to my room. The first thing I saw when I entered was my reflection in the mirror.

_My _reflection.

'Stop it, you stupid conscience. I'm Sydney. I'm not lying to myself. I can ask anyone and they will tell me I'm Sydney. I've just got to believe it myself. I am Sydney. I will be Sydney.'

I got the packet of cigarettes from my bag and threw them in the trash.

Sydney didn't smoke.

* * *

**A/N: A big 'thank you' to everyone who's reviewed and a big 'please review!' to everyone. I hope you liked the chapter :)**


	9. Sydney: You really should not be here

**Sydney**

'**You really should not be here'**

'Sydney, wake up.'

I groaned and scrunched my eyes closed. My biological rhythm was a mess and what little sleep I got was filled with strange dreams, where faucets ran with blood and someone who looked like Sydney told me she would like a glass of A-positive.

'Are we there yet?' I mumbled, stifling a yawn.

'Five more minutes or so. Slept well?'

'No.' I opened my eyes and looked out of the window. It was night, but the many street lights kept it from becoming very dark. I assumed we were in L.A., but not the fabulous part where I'd once picked up Adrian.

_Adrian_. I wondered how he was doing; had he noticed 'I' was behaving strangely? Even if he did, I doubted he would think someone else was in my body. That wasn't something that was supposed to happen in this world. And maybe he would notice, but not mind? Maybe he liked the new 'me' better? Kate probably wouldn't be as hard on him as I sometimes was, she wouldn't be afraid of him because he was a Moroi.

_Sydney, this is so not the time to be worrying about that_, I told myself.

I glanced down at Dimitri's wrist. As a dhampir he healed fast, but the angry red line still made me uncomfortable. Not even to mention the thought that I'd drunk from that… I'd drunk a person's blood. Yes, it was a dhampir's, but Dimitri was still a person.

My stomach clenched with revulsion at myself whenever I was reminded of that act. On our way to Los Angeles we had a short stop at a chain restaurant, where I ate until I almost puked, thinking – foolishly, I know – that if I just ate enough normal food, I might control the _other _need.

'We're here,' said Dimitri, manoeuvring the car in a tight parking spot. 'You need to go one block back, then it's the third house on the right. Have you got the key?'

I fished the key to Kate's house from my pocket. Apparently, she had had it on her during the attack and they'd taken it from me when I was brought in to Levin & Hart. As I'd been unconscious at the time, I had no recollection of it whatsoever.

'Just go in and act normal. Technically, you aren't even breaking any laws,' said Dimitri, noticing my nervousness.

'No laws except that I escaped from _prison _for attempted _murder_.'

'At least you live there. Just get in and take whatever might look useful and try not to be seen.'

'I know that. I'll be back within…' I stopped; I had no idea how long this little trip would take. 'Shall we say thirty minutes?'

He nodded. 'Good luck. Remember: anything. Books, newspapers, diaries, a laptop…'

I got out of the car, pulling the cap I wore further over my eyes. Moroi had better vision than humans and I had to remind myself that in the dark I wouldn't be as easy to recognize to humans. After casting a last glance at Dimitri, I headed for Kate's house. I could only hope our assumptions were right and Kate's father and sister – who lived with her, at least according to the Alchemists' files – were at work.

When I got to the right door, I looked at my hands. They were quivering from anxiety. I clenched my hand around the key as I put it in the lock. _Stay calm. Even if they catch you: you live here. They don't know you're breaking into their house. Nobody knows you shouldn't be here._

_Unless, of course, they call the guardians and have me arrested again._

_Better not think of that right now._

I pushed open the door, which creaked. I froze, my heart beating in my throat, but there was no reaction from within the house. Now that I was paying attention to it (something I now realized I should've done before I even opened the door), there were no lights on inside. My prayers had been heard; it appeared nobody was home.

I entered and closed the door behind me. My instinct was to turn on the light, but with my Moroi senses it wasn't necessary and it was definitely not worth the risk of being caught, so it was in the dark that I made my way upstairs.

There were three rooms on the first floor; the first door I opened turned out to lead to a bathroom and the second to what was, no doubt, a man's bedroom; there was a pile of magazines, with a _Playboy_ on top, standing next to the unmade bed. I also saw the new issue of _Autoweek _and wondered if it would have that article on the new Mercedes. My hands itched to pick it up and take it with me, as 'useful information', but I knew that would only increase the chance of being found out.

The third room was Kate and Natasha's. It wasn't overly girly, but it did have a feminine touch to it; apart from a computer and keyboard, the desk was filled with nail polishes and other make-up and there was a poster with all kinds of chocolate on the wall. There was no book case, which made me suspect the desk of holding any useful information.

I sat down on the chair and opened the desk's drawers. Old receipts, bank account statements, scarves. Not until the fourth drawer did I find anything that might be what I was looking for: a notebook. I flicked through it; only the first few pages were used.

_Dear Diary,_

_I've heard on TV that talking about your issues is supposed to make you feel better. Or, if talking isn't 'it' for you, writing it down. So that's what I'm going to do._

'That's a start,' I said. I turned on the computer, grimacing at the loud noise it made. After placing the notebook on the desk I continued my search, but after ten minutes I still hadn't found anything. I looked at the computer and found it had two users: Kate and Natasha. I clicked on the icon for Kate and groaned when the request for a password popped up.

I tried everything I knew about Kate; her birth date, the street she grew up in, her father's name, her high school's name, 'chocolate' – nothing. The hint, 'shit', didn't tell me much either (although it did mean I also tried 'faeces' and 'poop', but they weren't the answer).

I was getting desperate; the diary wasn't enough information, I knew that already. Where would Kate keep this kind of information? _Maybe I should try the living room; or perhaps I should check under her mattress again –_

'Kate? Oh my god, Kate!'

My heart stopped. I stood rooted to the ground, unable to move a muscle.

_Oh no. No no no no no no._

Someone threw her arms around me. 'What are you doing here, you silly?'

I turned around and saw a girl with the same red hair as Kate's had been. Her eyes were wide with excitement as she threw her arms around me again. This could only be one person.

'Natasha!' I said, patting her on her back. I tried to keep my voice natural, even though I was all but fainting from fear. 'Wh – what are you doing here? Aren't you at… work?'

'No, my shift finished early – why are – I was _so _worried about you.' She held me at an arm's length. 'What have you done with your hair? The guardians came here when you were caught and they came again yesterday. You really should not be here, what if they come again?'

'You won't tell them I was here, will you?' I said.

'What? No, of course not! But what are you doing here? Where have you been? How did you escape – did you have help from anyone outside? Why didn't you contact me?' Her eyes were glistening and to my great shock, I realized she was crying. 'Katie, have you _any _idea just how worried I was?'

Now she wasn't holding me anymore, I was shaking from the adrenaline that had nowhere to go. I lowered myself in the bureau chair, keeping my eyes on her face. 'No, I – I'm sorry, I just had some things I had to do.'

'Like what? Never mind,' she said, shaking her head. 'That doesn't matter. We need to get you out of here.' She leaned over me and clicked her icon on the computer. Her wallpaper was a picture of her, Kate and two Moroi boys I didn't recognize, standing on the beach. It was twilight and their pale skins looked orange in the light of the setting sun. They looked like they were having fun.

'What do you mean, "out of here"?' I said.

'Here. California. Maybe even the US. _God_, why is this fucking computer so fucking slow?' she groaned, clicking on her browser that wouldn't open. 'I mean, I'm glad you escaped, but you're royally screwed right now. I'm sure we could get you to Anna's some way or another…'

'Well, that's not – I've already got something. Please don't – don't e-mail or contact anyone about this.' Finally, _Internet Explorer _opened, but I clicked it away. 'Natasha, I - I need you to trust me right now. Please don't arrange anything.'

A crease appeared between her eyebrows. She took my face in her hands and it took all my energy not to twist away from her.

'Kate, what happened to you?' she said. 'Where are you staying? What happened? How did you get here?' Her thumb stroked across my cheek, making me shiver. Now the first shock of someone finding me had disappeared, the familiar fear of Moroi returned. Even though I was a Moroi myself, I hated one touching my face – it was an intimacy I wouldn't even want with humans, let alone with vampires.

I got up, startling her. 'I have to go,' I said, snatching the notebook. 'Listen, I'll… I'll contact you when anything happens, okay? Don't worry about me. And don't tell anyone I was here.' I looked around the room, though nobody else was here. Lowering my voice, I said, 'Don't even tell our father. Nobody can know.'

'I won't tell anyone,' she said. 'You know that if you need anything – a place to stay or someone to get you out of the country – you know I'm always here for you, right?' Her loving smile almost exposed her fangs.

'Thanks. I… That means a lot to me,' I said. This felt weird and wrong: I was getting someone else's affection. It was almost enough to tell Natasha what was going on; I shouldn't get this love, it was meant for someone else.

I went downstairs and Natasha followed me. When I got to the door, she said, 'I'll miss you.'

I forced my facial features into a smile. 'I'll miss you too. Take care.' I opened the door; relief flooded through me as I got farther away from the house. I hoped the diary had some useful information; otherwise I would really have no idea where to start searching.

Dimitri had already started the car's engine when I got in.

'What've you got?' he said.

I held up the diary. 'It's literally the only thing I could find.'

He eyed it for a second, before turning his attention back to the road. 'Well, we've got a long way ahead. Why don't you read it?'

And so I did.


	10. Diary:Why do I always fuck up everything

**05-05-2011**

Dear Diary,

I've heard on TV that talking about your issues is supposed to make you feel better. Or, if talking isn't 'it' for you, writing it down. So that's what I'm going to do. Where to start? Should I introduce myself to think more about who I am and… I'll just start there.

Alright. Jekaterina Ivanova Miranova, but people just call me Kate. I'm eighteen years old, live in L.A. and work in a greasy café where you get an extra tip when men pinch your ass (I don't recommend working there, the pay is shitty). I've a father, who is 47 and works as a salesman, and a sister, Natasha, who is amazing and works in the same shitty restaurant. In fact, she is the reason why I started to work there; she did well so our boss, a woman named Henry, was glad I could work there, too. Of course the fact that we were more than willing to take the night shifts might have had something to do with it as well.

Right, so, describing myself. I didn't finish St. Serapion's, I dropped out after my junior year because it wasn't like they were teaching anything useful (Like I'm ever going to use maths in my life. And it's not like I specialized in anything; it was just embarrassing). My boyfriend, Mark, _has _finished St. Serapion's and is now working as a clerk for some insurance company. We've been together for three months now and he, together with Natasha, is about the only thing that isn't fucked-up about my life. (Although he has his strange habits and moments, like how he always reads a Batman comic after sex. It used to bug me but I've got used to it; things could've been a lot worse. At least he washes daily.) Mark's a Moroi as well and I'm crazy about him.

So, what else is there to say about my life? I'm trying to think of dramatic secrets to tell this diary, but I can't think of any. I suppose I could bitch about my job, but it isn't _all _bad. Except the pay and the customers and the disgusting food we serve (I wouldn't eat there if I didn't have a discount). You know what? This is shit. Writing in a diary isn't for me.

Kate.

**06-20-2011**

Forgot I had this. I'm so confused; writing things down should help.

I've been so stupid. And I do mean _oh my god fuck shit goddammit Kate why are you so fucking retarded AHAFKSJAFKLJSAKL_. Sorry for that, I just need to hit something and FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK!

So, here's the dirt. I, idiot extraordinaire, have cheated on Mark.

With his brother.

I didn't mean to. I was just at his house and Mark wasn't there yet because he had extra hours or something and Terry was there and I had some beer and he had some beer and suddenly he starts about how he always thought I was beautiful and too good for Mark and he started kissing me. And I should've pushed him away and slapped him (see that now; didn't see that then), but instead I kissed him back. And it went a bit beyond that but then we heard someone coming and stopped.

I'm so fucked.

If Mark find out, he'll break up with me.

Shit shit shit.

Need to make sure he never finds out.

Or should I tell him? Honesty in a relationship, respect for each other, that kind of thing? Would want him to tell _me _if he cheated, but that's mostly because I'd want to break up with him and wouldn't do that if I didn't know. But then that's a moot point, because Mark wouldn't cheat. He's all about 'loyalty'; he'll so break up with me.

Shit.

SHIT.

I'll tell him.

No, I won't. I'll pretend it never happened and make sure Terry does so, too. It was a one-off, it was strange and I don't even like Terry. I'm not going to let this incident fuck things up.

**28-06-2011**

Fuck. He knows.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfucking FUCKFUCK

Why do I always fuck up everything?

Fuck.

**12-08-2011**

I hate my life. I hate my job. I hate my future prospects. I hate myself. I just wish I could start over – be someone else. _Anyone _else. By now it even sounds appealing to be a Twimom, for fuck's sake. Anything other than this.

I so need to take control of my life and stop fucking things up.

Fuck.

FUCKING FUCK.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, this chapter is shitty and I apologise, but it just... didn't work. And it had to get in here. So I apologise again; the next chapter should be better and up much, much sooner. Also, sorry for all the 'fuck's, if you give any for foul language. **


	11. Kate: Aphrodite hasn't been favoring me

**Kate**

'**Aphrodite hasn't been favoring me.'**

_And Ulysses answered, "A man, goddess, may know a great deal, but you are so constantly changing your appearance that when he meets you it is a hard matter for him to know whether it is you or not."_

_Odyssey, XIII 311-13_

Even if I couldn't access Sydney's computer, I _did _manage to guess the PIN code for her smart phone; I was surprised to find out it was nothing more than the year of her birth. It was an unexpected stroke of luck and it was a _needed _one. After all, now I was planning on being Sydney and making something of my life, I would have to pay attention in class and work my ass off. Ancient Greek just turned out to be something that was a whole lot more difficult than expected, which was why using translations from the internet was a necessary evil. (In all honesty, I had tried to translate it myself, but I didn't even know the alphabet. Even with all the notes in my textbook, I still had no idea what I was looking at.)

I scrolled down to read the next lines and copy them to my notebook when a shadow fell over me. Glancing up, I saw a boy – Trey, I believed his name was – standing behind me, blocking the sun.

'Do you always hang out on the roof?' he said, sitting down next to me.

'Often,' I said. I hid the translation site from my phone's screen and went to sit upright, instead of lying on my stomach. 'I like the quiet, the view…'

He looked around. 'I get what you mean,' he said. 'So, what were you doing?'

I held up the textbook. 'Translating what might be the earliest example of western literature,' I said, remembering what the first chapter of the book said. 'Just reading a dead language, you know how it works.'

'Iliad or Odyssey?' he asked.

'Odyssey.'

'Like it?'

I shrugged. The translation I'd found was quite readable, more so than the first one I'd used, at least. 'I suppose, yeah.'

'I always thought of you more as an Iliad girl,' he said. I wondered what he meant and that must've shown on my face, because he said, 'I just never thought Odysseus would be your kind of hero in a story; he isn't exactly someone who follows the rules, whereas Hector must be some sort of ancient version of you.'

I'd seen _Troy_, so I knew who Hector was; now that Trey mentioned it, he _did _remind me of how I thought Sydney was, with the way he wanted to follow the law and was always going on about honor and duty. Eric Bana had a lot more sex appeal than Sydney did, though.

'Maybe this is my outlet,' I said. 'Read about assholes even if I can't be one myself.'

'Your guilty pleasure: the Odyssey. How badass you are.' He wiggled his eyebrows. 'So how are you? I've hardly seen you lately.'

_Are Sydney and Trey friends? He seems to think we are. Damn. Improvise. _'No, you're right. I've just been _so _busy, it's unbelievable. With school and Jill and everything.'

'Is something the matter with Jill?'

'Nothing more than the struggles of every fifteen-year-old girl, but they're bad enough. How are you doing?' I wished I knew something specific about Trey; wasn't he on the football team? 'How's… training and stuff?'

'Much better now that Nevermore has closed; the team is actually normal again.' He gave me a meaningful look and I smiled at him, though I had no idea what the look was supposed to convey. 'The coach is going crazy with the practice schedule, though; it's like he wants us to eat, drink and breathe football until the season is over.'

'As long as you win, right?'

He shook his head slowly. 'Sydney, Sydney, Sydney. We represent the school – it's as long as "we" win, and you're a part of that "we". Are you coming to the match Saturday week?'

'Of course. I want to be there when we win!'

He smiled at me and I realized something: Adrian wasn't the only one interesting in Sydney. I had to admit that Trey fancying her made more sense; if they talked about Ancient Greek often, it was only logical for them to form some nerdy romance. Though Trey didn't strike me as a nerd; he _was _on the football team, after all, and those muscles didn't lie.

'Ms Terwilliger was wondering when you were going to help her again,' he said, after a companionable silence. 'She says she'll never finish the book if you're not around.'

_Oh, right, that._ I still wasn't sure what to do about that; being Sydney was one thing, but there was a limit to my capabilities and right now following classes was difficult enough without 'helping Terwilliger'. I was considering telling her I wanted to quit and focus more on my schoolwork; it would be un-Sydney-ish, no doubt, but it would only be a matter of time for her to figure out I wasn't up for the job.

'I don't know,' I said. 'I think I might want to do something else.'

He nodded. 'She said you might.'

_She had?_

'And – I'm really feeling like some sort of mailman here – she told me to tell you that she won't bother you about "it".' He made quotation marks with his fingers. 'I don't think she meant you not working with her anymore, but she wouldn't say what she _did _mean.' From the way he finished his sentence it was obvious he was curious about it, but I couldn't help him.

'Okay,' I said. 'Well, problem solved. Maybe I should quit. I don't know yet. So, er… What are you doing up on this roof? Apart from gazing at my incomprehensible beauty, of course.'

'Apart from that? Not much. I just wanted to talk to you again and Jill said you could be found here, so I thought I'd try.' He lay down on his back, his hands folded behind his head. He squinted as he looked at me. 'Mind lying down, too? I can't see you right now.'

I followed his example, lying on my stomach again. There was another silence, this one a bit more awkward. I decided to break it with the most horrible question in human and Moroi history. 'So, Trey, how is your love life?'

'You can't be serious,' he laughed.

'Oh, but I am. Very serious and very curious.'

He didn't look at me when he answered. 'To stay in the classic sphere: Aphrodite hasn't been favoring me.'

'That doesn't tell me anything,' I said. 'Does it mean there's no one you like, the person you like doesn't like you back, there's a whole horde of fan girls just waiting to throw their underwear at you while you're not interested…?'

'The last, I'm afraid. Except that instead of "girls", it's "boys".'

'And their underwear has Spiderman on it?'

'Worse – Aquaman. And it hasn't been washed in a week.'

'A month?'

'A month and a week.'

'That must be awful,' I said, reaching out and touching his arm. 'No, but really, how are things?'

'Ah… not that special.'

'So there's no girl you think of? Not one who can make your heart skip a beat?' I knew I was torturing him; his cheeks grew redder by the second. Could it be that Trey, despite those good looks, was a boy who still grew nervous around girls he liked?

'No. How is your love life?' He peeked at me from the corners of his eyes, a small, hopeful smile playing around his lips.

'Oh, Aphrodite and I, we're like this,' I said, crossing my fingers tightly. 'I think I can say that everything in my love life is going _wonderfully_.' After all, I had two handsome boys lusting after me. And one doing nothing of that sort.

That thought made my stomach plummet. Though the sky was still cloudless, I felt chilly. Sitting up again, I said, 'Trey?'

'Yeah?'

_You're Sydney now. He's in the past. Fuck him._

_No, fuck Trey._

I looked at him and hesitated. It would be so easy; I'd just have to lean over and kiss him. Trey seemed like a nice boy, one even Sydney would like.

'Sydney?' he said.

I choked. 'I need to make a phone call.'

Grabbing my phone, I got up and walked to the other side of the roof. It didn't take me long to find his name in the list of contacts.

'What's up, Sage?'

'Hey, Adrian. Would you mind if I came over tonight?'

* * *

**A/N: Like I said, the wait would be shorter. Odyssey translation by Samuel Butler. And like you probably guessed already, the next Kate chapter will have a lot of Adrian in it...**


	12. Sydney: I hate her

**Sydney**

'**I hate her'**

I felt abandoned, betrayed by my best friend: research. After the diary entry, Dimitri and I clung to the one sentence that might help us. 'And it's not like I specialized in anything.' If this meant she was a spirit user, could body-swapping be another one of spirit's powers? Previous records didn't tell. And of course the best place in the world to discover more about spirit was where Kate was.

'Maybe it's more use if you just go back and see if you can discover something,' I said, after half an hour of looking at CNN without absorbing anything they said. I was feeling very tired and a bit dizzy, though I'd slept well and eaten a lot. 'If she really is a spirit user, they might find out something at the investigation. And of course you could keep an eye on Kate…'

He nodded; he was still looking at the screen. 'Maybe I should. If anything, I'll have to report some day soon, or they're going to be suspicious.'

I raised my eyebrows. 'Suspicious of what? That you are secretly aiding the person you're supposed to find? Surely they can't suspect you of something like that.' I picked up the diary and leafed through the – mostly empty – pages. 'What I just hate is that we're not getting _anywhere_. So she might be a spirit user – and _then what_? There's next to nothing known about them, _she _certainly didn't write down how she'd done it and we can't ask her because she'd never tell…'

I just felt so angry and powerless. In the week since she'd stolen my body, I'd had to do things I never wanted to do – things I'd always thought myself incapable of, but the situation had forced me into them. Using magic, drinking blood, breaking and entering a house. And I shouldn't have to be doing this – I hadn't done anything wrong. I was going through this because _she _had to go and steal my body.

My hand clutched the diary so tightly my knuckles became whiter than bone. Kate had _stolen_ my body. She was living my life, instead of being punished for what she'd done. She should be in jail awaiting her sentence for helping with that attack, but no, she was at Amberwood. I didn't even want to know what she was doing there; my grades were sure to have dropped, not to mention my friends.

Speaking of them… would they notice? Would Kate bother to pretend to be me, or would she just flat-out ignore that and stay herself, except in my body? What if she got herself kicked out of Amberwood – or worse, if she made a giant Alchemist mistake? For some reason I doubted she even knew who Alchemists were, let alone how to be one. What would my father say if she messed up?

The diary fell to the carpeted floor with a soft 'thud' as I realized something. 'Oh, no,' I said, looking at Dimitri. What if she wouldn't make a mistake? What if she was _planning _something to hurt Jill? She'd tried before and she was now in the perfect position to do so; no one would ever expect 'me' to hurt Jill. But surely she wouldn't act on her own? And if she got help, then they had to have told her sister? Natasha had been surprised to see me; she didn't seem informed about any plans…

'Sydney?' Dimitri said. 'What's wrong?'

'What if Kate is going to hurt Jill?' I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. 'What if this body-switching wasn't some trick to get herself out of trouble, but part of something much bigger? For all we know, they could be using Kate – and now me – to infiltrate the Moroi Court or something like that!'

At the mention of Jill, Dimitri got a defensive look in his eyes, but as I explained the rest of my thoughts, he calmed down. Leaning against the wall, he said, 'I don't think that's the case. It would be very elaborate and just too risky; I've met that Peter and he wasn't the sharpest knife in the box. For someone in that organisation to come up with a plan like this, relying so much on Kate's ability?'

'Maybe it was an asset they knew they could use,' I said. 'They have to have known about it – why else would they send _her_?'

'Because she looked innocent and harmless enough for you to stop driving,' he said. 'It's something we should keep in mind, though. I just… I'm not working on that investigation right now and I can hardly tell them this.'

'But what if Kate is in danger?' I pressed. 'Kate is obviously a psychopath, she – she doesn't think about the consequences of her actions. It doesn't have to be well thought-out; she could act on a whim. Dimitri, this girl stole my body, she's capable of anything.' The anger rose again; I took a deep breath to calm myself, though my hands were shaking.

'Eddie's always with her,' Dimitri said. 'And if he isn't, Angeline is.'

'And when they weren't, I was, because they _trusted _me,' I said.

He hesitated for a moment and nodded. 'I'll call Eddie and tell him to never leave her side, but Sydney, if I'm very honest, I don't think Kate wants to hurt Jill, not when she's in such a comfortable position the way she is now.' At my glare, he said, 'Of course, extra safety has never hurt anyone.'

'I hope it hurts her,' I spat, surprised by the venom in my voice. 'I hope we find out how to turn me back and then push her in front of a bus. I _hate _her!' I picked up the nearest thing I could find – a pillow – and threw it on the floor. The satisfaction wasn't enough, so I went for the remote, but I'd calmed down enough to throw it on the couch. Throwing things had never been my style – but then again, I'd never been this furious either. There seemed to be no way in the world for me to vent this anger, to let the world know just what I was feeling. Dimitri didn't understand; he didn't know what it was like to _know _someone was in your body and _using _it. He wouldn't understand how violated I felt, how this deprived me of my rights – my rights to my own body, of all things!

I put my head between my hands. I was shaking uncontrollably and felt as if I could vomit any moment, but I didn't want to go to the bathroom. I just wanted things to end – to go back to normal.

'I hate her,' I said. 'I hate her so much.'

The couch's pillows sagged when Dimitri came to sit next to me. I thought he might put his arm around me, but to my relief he didn't. Being touched by a dhampir was not something I could handle right now.

'It's going to be okay,' he said. 'Things seem horrible now, but we'll figure things out and Kate will get what she deserves. You're just acting this way because you're scared and upset and hungry.'

'I'm not hungry,' I said; there was no point in denying the other two. 'I had two plates of spaghetti for dinner, remember?'

'I don't mean that kind of hungry. When you're active, you need to be fed every other day – it's a miracle you held out as long as you did the last time.' His words made my insides freeze, but he continued, 'I think it's time you have some more blood.'

'No,' I whispered. 'I don't – I don't need that. I can go at least another day, maybe two. Please don't make me drink your blood again.' My stomach clenched in fear and revulsion at the thought.

'You'll feel better when you've had some,' he said. 'Sydney, you need the blood. Normal food isn't a good substitute and you know it. We've had this discussion before; there is no point in…'

'There is! I – don't – want – this. I'm not going to drink any more blood than is absolutely necessary for my survival!' I jumped up; red and black dots swam in front of my eyes. 'At least let me wait until tomorrow. Please, Dimitri, I…' I could see clearly again, see how resigned Dimitri looked and how healthy his veins beat with the blood my body craved.

'Tomorrow, then,' he said. 'But really, you're not helping yourself this way, Syd.'

I let out a bitter laugh. 'I'm trying to save my immortal soul,' I said. 'I think I'm definitely helping myself. I'm not going to hell just because Kate decided she was too much of a coward to face her punishment. I… ' I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at Dimitri again. 'I'm sorry, I'm not a hundred per cent right now. Could I borrow your phone for a couple of minutes?'

'My phone?' he asked, taking it from his pocket. 'Why?'

'I'm going to let someone know I'm angry.' I took the phone and typed my number. I heard it ring once – twice – and then a voice that was so familiar yet so strange answered, making my stomach flop.

'Hello, this is Sydney,' she said.

I turned my back to Dimitri and walked to the bathroom; I wanted to do this alone. 'No, _this _is Sydney,' I said. 'You are a pathetic excuse for a person who has to steal other people's lives to have one of your own.'

She gasped. 'I d-don't know what you mean,' she said, not convincing me. 'Who are you again?'

'Don't play stupid, Kate. I don't know what you've done, but believe me when I say I'll find out. And when I know? I'm going to find you, get my body back and smile when you're brought in to prison. You're going to regret this for years to come.'

'Listen, Sydney, I – you - '

'I suggest you enjoy your last time as me, because it will be over soon. And don't even try running – wherever you go, I _will _find you. Good night.' I snapped the phone shut, knowing this was a stupid move. What if she did make a run for it now that I'd alarmed her?

_Then I'll make good on my promise and find her_. She was going to pay, no matter where she was.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter: ADRIAN!**


	13. Kate: Was I not good?

**Kate**

'**Was I not good?'**

My hands were shaking as I put my phone back in my pocket. In all my effort to become Sydney, I'd forgotten there was someone who actually _was _Sydney – and, more importantly, I'd forgotten that she wanted her body back.

'I'll find you', she'd said.

_That doesn't matter. She's a criminal, remember?_ I told myself, opening the door to my car and getting out. _So what if she finds you? You'll raise the alarm and she'll be caught again. They'll never believe her. They won't. People will just think she's gone crazy. In fact, it's better if she finds you; that's much safer than having her roam around. _

I checked my reflection in the rear view mirror and reapplied my lipstick. When I'd still been Kate, I'd thought the key to seducing boys had been in lots and lots of dark make-up. I knew that look wouldn't work for Sydney, so instead I'd kept it low-key. Some mascara, some eye shadow, and so little foundation it was hardly visible.

Of course, now I was Sydney I had boobs. I had to admit that they diminished the need for make-up.

I walked to the door of Adrian's apartment. After I'd rung the bell, I glanced down at my cleavage. Sydney didn't have very sexy clothing, so I'd opted for a blouse and opened just one more button than was decent. Maybe I should open another one, just in case?

Before I came to a decision, the door opened and Adrian stood in the doorway. 'Hey Sage,' he said. Then he blinked and gave me a double-take. 'Wow. You look great.'

'There's no need to sound so surprised,' I said as I entered.

'What can I say? Your beauty keeps amazing me.'

I grinned and bit my lip under his admiring gaze. I could do this; I could be in a relationship. A boy – a man – could like me. Love me, even. I wasn't going to fuck up this time; Adrian was too hot for that.

I followed him up the stairs. The nerves were soaring through my body, but in a good way. In a way that made me decide to open that extra button.

'So, could I get you anything to drink?' he asked, as he led me into the living room.

'I, er… some wine, please.' I knew Sydney didn't drink, but I needed the Dutch courage. I closed the door behind me and took a look around the room. My eyes almost popped out from what I saw; the floor was covered with sketches, wads of paper and half-finished watercolors.

_I didn't know Adrian drew_, I thought, looking at him in surprise. _What is it with me and artists? _

Bending over so I could have a better look, I studied the pictures while Adrian went to the kitchen. When he came back, I said, 'These are amazing.'

He handed me my glass of wine and then used his free hand to wave my praise away. 'Nah, they're crap, I just had to try _something_. I wasn't really inspired today. But I assume you're not just here to admire my artwork.' He gave me a pointed look while taking a sip of wine.

'No, you're right, I'm not,' I said. I took a large swig of wine and felt my confidence increase with the amount of alcohol in my blood. I needed that extra confidence; I'd never seduced someone before, at least not someone I wasn't already very familiar with.

He smiled at me, waiting for my answer, but then a small crease appeared between his eyebrows. 'Syd? Are you all right?'

'Of course I am.'

He eyed me speculatively. 'Are you sure? Your au – you seem a bit… off. Oh, and the button of your blouse popped open.' He nodded towards my chest and then focused his attention on my face again.

Really, what was the point of breasts if men suddenly started behaving like gentlemen?

'It didn't pop open, Adrian,' I said. 'I opened it.'

He took another sip of wine, a confused expression on his face. 'Sage, if I didn't know any better, I'd almost think you were flirting with me,' he said; his tone was only half-joking.

'Do you?' I put my glass on the table and took a step towards him. Throwing my hair over my shoulder, I said, 'Maybe I am.' I'd meant to whisper this in his ear, but he was so tall, there was no way I could reach that.

I stood on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck, pulling him towards me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I was glad to hear his breathing had quickened. Still, he had a confused look in his green eyes.

'Sydney? Are you – I mean –?'

'I've been thinking about you all day,' I whispered, resting my forehead against his. 'And all night.' I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his.

He didn't disappoint me, lacking in neither enthusiasm nor skill.

I pressed myself closer to him and didn't break free from the kiss except to start kissing his neck.

'Sydney, are you sure you want this?' he asked. His voice was husky and I saw his pupils were dilated almost none of the green was visible anymore.

I stopped and stepped away from him, biting my lip. 'Why? Don't you want me?'

His eyes scanned my face for the shortest moment and then we were kissing again. My fingers were clawing at the hem of his shirt and as we stumbled towards his bedroom, I pulled it over his head and threw it on the ground.

We fell to his bed. I loved the feeling of his weight on me, of having him so close, of being cared for – but he had to ruin the moment.

'I love you,' he blurted out. When the words had left his mouth, he looked flabbergasted; his face, only inched from mine, was filled with complete shock.

'I-I'm sorry?'

'I love you,' he said again, with a nervous laugh.

The muscles around my mouth twitched. I wanted to get away. 'No you don't,' I said. 'Don't be ridiculous.'

'I'm not being ridiculous. Sydney…' He shrugged, which was quite an achievement, considering he was resting most of his weight on his elbows. 'I love you.'

_Sydney, I love you. I'm Sydney now. He does love me. He does._

'I love you too,' I said, forcing a smile to my face. For some reason, the way his eyes lit up made me feel worse than any other moment in Sydney's body had done. Even though Adrian didn't know it, I'd taken away the girl he loved.

_You'll just have to work hard to replace her then, right?_ a small voice in the back of my mind said, as Adrian started kissing me again.

.

It was the first time I'd had sex with someone other than Mark.

It was probably the first time this body had sex, ever.

After a short nap I woke, feeling disoriented. My back was pressed against Adrian's chest; he'd wrapped an arm and a leg around me and was now snoring softly. The intimacy was oppressing. I didn't want to lie with a man like this.

Carefully, so as not to wake him, I pushed his arm and leg off of me, while looking around the dark room for my clothes. As I straightened up, Adrian opened his eyes and stared at me, frowning.

'Sydney? What are you – oh. Right.' He sat up too, and rubbed his face with his hands. 'We just…'

I nodded. 'Yeah, we did.'

'Holy fuck.' He was staring straight ahead and looked as if someone had hit him on the back of his head with a frying pan. He turned his head and looked at me. 'Oh shit.'

I pulled the duvet up, so I was covered. My face was aflame with embarrassment. 'Oh shit' had not been the reaction I was going for. I'd hoped – he'd said he loved me. I'd thought that meant he would want to sleep with me. Had I been wrong?

'Adrian?' I asked. 'Was… was something wrong? Was I… not good?'

I'd die if that were the case. Instant humiliation would be the cause of death and death would be welcome.

He blinked, shook his head and then looked at me again. 'Sorry, what? Not good?'

I shrugged, avoiding his gaze.

'No, Sydney, I… that's not it.' He moved so he could put an arm around me and cradled me against his chest. Stroking my hair, he said, 'I just thought you… Well, I was under the impression that you hadn't done this before and I must've rushed things, but… that… doesn't seem to bother you?' He faltered, looking at my face.

_Of all the things he could worry about…_

'No.' I laughed, feeling incredibly awkward. 'If anything, Adrian, I think I was the one seducing you.'

He smiled; with his hand he started drawing patterns on my shoulder, giving me goose bumps. 'That's true,' he said. 'I'm still surprised about that, by the way.'

'I'm not. But then again, I'd been planning this for a while – it didn't come completely out of the blue.'

'Did you discuss it with your friends at Amberwood? Tell them how you're planning on sleeping with your brother?'

It took me a second before I realized he was talking about that strange cover story we had. How anyone could believe Sydney was related to Jill and Adrian was still something that amazed me. 'Oh, yes, of course,' I said. 'Everyone at Amberwood sleeps with their siblings. I mean, just look at Eddie and Jill.' The Moroi princess and her guardian – I still couldn't believe it.

'But, er, I think I should go back to Amberwood,' I said, nodding at the clock. 'I might have a later curfew than usual because it's Friday, but I'm already late and I don't want Mrs Weathers to have any more reason to kill me.'

'Can't you just stay? I'll call them, say you'd like to stay over with your dearly beloved brother – how could they deny you that?'

'Considering what that brother and I get up to – how could they not?' I kissed the tip of his nose. 'Jill has her feeding tomorrow; will I see you then?' I got up and started to collect my clothes from the floor, while Adrian, still sitting on the bed, watched me.

'I never thought you'd do something like this,' he said, as I hooked up my bra.

'Something like this?'

He shrugged. 'Something spontaneous. Or really, just, anything with me, now that I think about it. Wasn't I some horrible, unnatural monster?'

I was glad I stood with my back to him. 'I guess that attack just… changed my view on life,' I said. 'Rules are fine and all, but I only live once. I thought it was about time I started to do something with my life.'

'And you thought you'd start by doing me.'

'Exactly.'

'Good plan.' He grabbed his boxers and put them on. 'Want me to see you out?'

'No, don't bother. I'll be fine.' I started buttoning my blouse while at the same time I stepped into my shoes. 'Thank you for having me over tonight, Adrian. I had a really great time.'

'The pleasure was all mine,' he said. When I'd closed the last button – I was actually decent this time, now there were no men to seduce – he jumped up and escorted me to the door.

'I won't go downstairs with you, because people might get ideas,' he said, in the tone of an eighty-year-old woman. 'So I'll see you tomorrow?'

'If Weathers lets me go anywhere.' I pulled him down for another kiss and then I went to my car.

_Mission accomplished._


	14. Sydney: Was it important?

**Sydney**

'**Was it important?'**

'_You'll call me when you know a – you'll call me when you're done?' Dimitri said, staring down into my eyes. 'Even when she doesn't know anything?'_

'_Yes, of course I will,' I said. We'd had this talk over and over before, so I decided to change the subject. 'What are you going to tell them?' 'Them' being the other guardians who were out looking for me._

'_That I've got good reason to suspect you've gone north,' he said._

'_What reason would that be?'_

'_I don't know yet. I'll think of something along the way.' As he spoke, he rolled up his sleeve, exposing his wrist, where there was a fine line from the feeding of two days ago. A dreadful mixture of revulsion and longing built up inside me as I realized what he was about to do._

'_Dimitri, I'm fine,' I said. I hated the way my mouth started watering at the prospect – I didn't want to want this. 'You really don't have to do this.'_

_He got a Swiss knife from one of the pockets of his duster. 'You might be all right now, but you don't know when there's another opportunity to feed; it could be days away.'_

'_I can handle a couple of days.'_

'_If you have some now. Sydney, it's just a precaution,' he said. 'There's a chance Rose and I can't reach you the next couple of days; this way you'll have some reserves.'_

_Part of me wanted to tell him you didn't just drink blood when it wasn't absolutely necessary, just because it might be more convenient. Part of me wanted to gag at the thought of drinking blood from another person. Part of me wanted to curl up in a ball and wait until everything was normal._

_All these parts were overruled by the instincts that flared up when Dimitri made a cut in his wrist and held it out to me._

_._

_It was necessary. It was necessary_, I kept telling myself as I drove through Los Angeles. _They'll understand_. I didn't know who 'they' were. My parents? The Alchemists? God?

I parked a couple of blocks away from the house; a distance I could cover running if things went awry. There were so many things that could go wrong; if Natasha wasn't there, if Kate's father _was_, if the guardians kept the house under surveillance. Despite Rose's assurance over the phone that at least the last fear was otiose, my insides still clenched with worry at every passing car, every pedestrian. A group of boys who catcalled at me almost made me scream.

This time I was smart enough to check for signs of life before I entered. The ground floor was dark and the only light I saw on the second floor came from Kate and Natasha's room. I touched my cross briefly as I said a silent, 'Thank you.' It appeared I still had some sort of luck left.

Without turning on the lights I hurried upstairs, hoping my good fortune would last. Standing in front of the door to the girls' bedroom, I took a deep breath before turning down the doorknob and stepping inside.

Natasha was sitting at the desk, typing on the keyboard. Her computer screen was filled with a word processor program. She looked up when she heard me, and relief flooded her features. Within the bat of an eyelash she got up and pulled me into a tight embrace.

'Kate! Oh thank God! It's so good to see you again,' she said. She released me, but then she grasped my face with both hands and planted a kiss on each cheek. 'How have you been? Have you – I mean – have you done what you wanted to do? You do have a place to stay, right?'

'I – yes. Don't worry about that.'

She opened her mouth to say something and I decided I'd better interrupt her before she started asking questions I couldn't answer.

'Listen,' I said, trying to sound sisterly to incite her trust. 'Natasha, I need to ask you some things.'

'Ask away,' she said, while leading me to the bed. 'Is it about the guardians? Because they haven't been here since - '

'No, it's not about them. I know this is going to sound strange, but bear with me here, okay? Have I ever…' I wondered how to phrase this without giving the impression I'd gone mad. 'Have I ever mentioned something like swapping bodies with you?'

The question was weird enough to keep her from talking for a couple of seconds. Her brow furrowed and she brought her hand to her mouth, staring into nothing. As the moments went by, my anxiety rose to unbearably high levels, until she said, 'I remember something, vaguely, but that was months ago. Why?'

I all but collapsed on the bed from relief. We had a link – a feeble one, yes, but now we could work from somewhere. 'What did I say?'

She was silent again and then she shook her head. 'Sorry, I can't remember exactly. You were off with the fairies again.' Here she smiled at me, though the worry was still clear in her eyes.

_Off with the fairies_. I thought of Adrian, who sometimes seemed to lose his coherency and claimed it was from Spirit. Had Kate been driven to insanity by her element? It seemed the only logical reason for doing what she'd done, apart maybe from desperation. Another sentence popped up in my head. _I just wish I could start over – be someone else. _Anyone_else._

Distraught as I was, I'd forgotten Natasha, but she brought me back to Earth by saying, 'Was it important? Katie?'

I choked. 'Yes, it's very important. Are you sure you can't remember more? Anything?'

'I'll try,' she said, just as the sound of a key being turned in a lock made us both freeze. From downstairs I heard a deep masculine voice say, 'Come in, Darren, Dolly, Leo.'

My heart was racing and I stared at Natasha, horror-struck. _Oh no._

'Dad's home,' she said. She looked pale, even for a Moroi. 'Fuck. And the rest of the Order, too, by the sound of it… Fuck. Not that they can blame you – it's because of them that you're in this trouble…' Still, her nervous tone made it clear it would be better if these people didn't find out 'Kate' was here.

We were both silent as the group entered the living room. Their talking was muted when the door was closed, but after only seconds, it was opened again. A voice, distinguishable above the murmur of the others, called, 'Natasha!'

'Coming!'

She bit the nail of her pinkie finger as she turned to me. 'Think you can leave out the window?'

There was nothing I wanted more than to get far away from those people, but something stopped me. If these were the people who got Kate in trouble, then they were the ones to have organized that attack. They were the kind that wanted to throw Vasilisa's reign and had already tried to hurt my protégée once. Who knew what I might hear if I stayed? Maybe they had news of other organizations, or at least I could tell their names to the Alchemists and have them arrested; it would be one threat less to Jill.

'Maybe later. Could you keep the door ajar?' I whispered, while Natasha went to the hallway. 'I need to know what they're up to.'

She nodded. 'Don't let them know you're here. I love you,' she said and then she went downstairs, her heels clacking on the step threads.

I went to sit by the edge of the stairs, hoping no one would come up here to check on something. The chatter from the room became louder again as Natasha opened the door.

'Hey,' she said, pulling the door closed behind her, but stopping just two inches before it reached the door frame. 'Sorry, I had to save some files.'

'Sit down,' the male voice from before said. I wondered if this was Kate's father. 'Dolly was just saying a date has been picked. Two weeks from now we should be ready to try again – and this time, we _won't _fail.'

_Guess my guardian angel decided to help me some more_, I thought. I wished I had a notepad, so I could scribble down the specifics of what they were saying; now I had to rely on my memory.

'So what's the plan this time?' another man asked.

'We won't bother getting so close,' said a third man. 'That was stupid, considering her guardians – we should've known that. This time we're going to play it safe. Guns.'

'Someone's good enough with guns for that?' said a woman. I assumed she was Dolly.

'If we shoot often enough, one of those bullets is bound to hit her,' said the second man. 'If others get hurt – that would be a waste, but it's not like we have much of a choice. I think our last debacle showed that attacking them up close will only lead to failure. Speaking of which – has anyone heard from Jekaterina?'

'Nothing,' said the first man.

'She was stupid to escape,' said Dolly. 'They'll find her and she'll only be in more trouble. She was just an accomplice – she might've gotten off the hook easily.'

_Then Kate definitely would've got off the hook easily_. I prayed Natasha was an acceptable actress and wouldn't blurt out where I was.

'Kate isn't the problem right now,' said the first man. 'It's this mission. Who is going to be the shooter?'

'I know someone, a human,' said the third man.

'Leo, should we really get humans into this?' the second man asked, sighing.

'He doesn't know we're Moroi. He doesn't care, either, as long as we pay him. His name's Frank Charles. He's up to it, I'm sure.'

'He'd better be.' The first man sounded resigned.

'Hey, tell me whenever you've got a better solution,' said Leo. 'So far, the best you've done is choosing a lousy fighter and a produce a daughter who got caught. Any time now with that brilliance you always go on about.'

'So the plan is to have her shot within two weeks. Sounds easy enough,' said the second man; he had to be that Darren. 'Until then, do we have someone keep watch?'

'Her guardians might notice,' said Dolly. 'We already know her routine. We just have to wait until she goes to a feeding and wait by the house. _If _the gunman is halfway skilled…' She was silent and I imagined she rolled her eyes or maybe glared at someone, '… then it shouldn't be too difficult.'

'We'll be caught,' said Darren.

'We won't.'

They started bickering about this, until Kate's father, Ivan Aleksejvitsch, said they shouldn't fight and that he proposed a toast to a successful third attempt.

_Third? Have we _missed _an entire attempt? Or did it happen while I was away? No – the attack with Kate was the last one._ I wasn't sure if not noticing that first attack was a good sign or not; did it mean it had been so pathetic that we just hadn't noticed, or had they got off too fast?

I looked around the room until I saw a scrap of paper. Taking a pen, I scribbled down

_I'm off. If you remember anything – or if there's more information about that attack – e-mail me. __Ilovejekaterina __. Please destroy this after you've read it._

I hesitated for a second and then I added,

_I love you._

I placed the note on the table and then went to the window. It opened easily and, looking down, I saw this shouldn't be too hard. As I crept out of the window, gripping the window frame and calculating if I could just let myself drop, I hoped the people inside wouldn't notice someone jumping out of the window.

_Maybe I should wait until they've had some more vodka_, I thought, just as another part of me decided that it was time for action. I let go and fell down about twelve feet. I landed in a crouch and flinched at the feeling in my knees – but it wasn't too bad. Whether I had had luck or Moroi bodies were better at receiving a blow, I didn't know. I didn't think about it, either – I just dashed out of the small garden, running until I had almost reached my car.

I got my phone from my pocket. 'Rose? It's me. I've got news.'


	15. Kate: I might surprise you

**Kate**

**'I might surprise you'  
**

'Okay, Sage, what's wrong?'

I looked up from my nearly-empty bowl of vanilla ice cream. 'Everything's wonderful.'

Being around Adrian was both the most relaxing and most unnerving thing about being Sydney. On the one hand I loved the way he looked at me, like I was the most special person in the world, but on the other hand… It was hard not to feel guilty. That exact adoration reminded me that I _wasn't _the girl he loved and that there was, in fact, a girl walking around who was now missing out on this.

I drew my thoughts away from Sydney and turned to Adrian, smiling. 'Why would anything be wrong?'

'You mean apart from the fact you just ate almost an entire box of sugar and fat?' he said, his tone teasing. I wondered if Sydney dieted and, if so, what Adrian thought of it.

'Hey, it's good,' I said. 'Let me have my fun once in a while.'

'By all means, go ahead, I've got more,' he said. 'Still – are you sure you're okay?'

I turned the brightness of my smile up a few notches. 'Adrian, I have a free afternoon, ice cream and you – what more could I want?'

'That's what I've been wondering.' He smiled at me, but there was something in his eyes – confusion? Suspicion?

_He doesn't suspect anything. Even if I am acting strange, _no one _would believe this. No one would come up with this on their own. You're safe, dammit! _

'Oh?' I said politely.

'Well, what with you coming to my place and suddenly deciding it doesn't bother you that I'm a vampire…' He shrugged. 'It kind of makes me wonder if something else is up. Besides, your aura has been… weird lately.'

I dropped my spoon into the bowl, staring at Adrian in bewilderment. My brain was going in overdrive, trying to process what he'd just said. He could see auras? I could sometimes see a faint shimmer around people – could it be that Adrian saw the same things? And if so… what did this mean for me-as-Sydney? What had her aura looked like? What was it like now?

_He knows_, I thought.

_He can't._

_He must._

'Sydney?'

He didn't have to see auras to see my distress. I blinked a couple of times and then stared at the bowl, hoping to keep my face clear of emotions. 'I'd forgotten you could see auras,' I said. 'I… I didn't know mine was different.'

'Yeah… I've never seen something like that before,' he said. 'I mean, it changes when people have different emotions, but yours just… changed completely all of a sudden.'

'I wonder why that is?' I said, still not looking at him. 'When did it happen?'

'First time I noticed? When Rose came here and you suddenly wanted a cigarette.' As he spoke, he got a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. 'Speaking of which, do you want one again, or…?'

'No, thank you.' _How am I going to talk myself out of this? Think, Katie, think! _'I only wanted one to impress you anyway.'

He started coughing. 'What?'

'Yeah, I, er… You know, after that attack, I just realized how short life was and I thought, "It's about time I'm going to do something with my life" and, well…' I shrugged, as if I was embarrassed about what I was saying. 'You were sort of on top of my list of things I wanted to do.'

'Was I now?' He looked at me, but not with the love-struck expression I was used to; he seemed puzzled, contemplative. 'And after that very subtle flirting moment, you decided to just fuck all and seduce me?'

'It worked, didn't it?'

'That's true. I just hadn't thought it to be your style. Not that I'm complaining.' He leaned over to kiss me and it seemed I had averted the crisis – for now, at least. But if it was true that Adrian could see auras, that posed a whole new problem. I didn't think he'd actually figure out I wasn't Sydney, but he might realize something was up – something more than just Sydney deciding she wanted to 'live more'.

_What's the worst thing he could do?_ I thought, as I drove off a couple of hours later. _Break up with me? So what? You hardly know him – you'd survive the heartbreak._

But I knew it wasn't the heartbreak I was afraid of. It was the failure. I was going to make something of my life as Sydney and being dumped was something _Kate_ did, not Sydney. I could work this out with Adrian; I'd just be so sweet, nice, wonderful and whatever that he wouldn't have a reason to question me.

While I parked the car and went to the East campus, I thought about all of the homework I still had to do. Just as I decided to do a quick check on _Sparknotes _to see if they had anything useful to say about _Das Parfum_, I saw Angeline in the hallway leading to her room. One look at her face told me something was wrong, despite the smile she sent me when she saw me. The smile didn't reach her eyes, which had a lonely look to them.

'Sydney.' She nodded as she brushed past me.

I hesitated for a moment, but something made me reach out and grab her arm. She jumped and turned around, her other arm raised - and then she saw who was touching her and relaxed.

'Angeline?' I said. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah,' she said.

I'd always been good at reading people's emotions. It was a bit more difficult now that I was human, but then again, Angeline wasn't difficult to read. 'Are you sure? You look upset.' _Thank you, Captain Obvious_, I thought, mentally rolling my eyes at myself. 'Want to talk about it?'

'Nah, you wouldn't understand.' She withdrew her arm from my grasp.

'Maybe I will. Maybe you'll feel better getting it off your chest.' I placed a hand on her shoulder. 'I'm a good listener.' I saw she was still doubting, so I added, 'Oh, come on. I've got chocolate biscuits in my room – surely _they _must make you feel better?'

'They do make everything better,' she said. 'Fine, I'll come.'

We went to my room, where she sat down on my bed and I got the cookies from a drawer.

'I thought you never ate sweets,' she said, taking four cookies.

'Yes, but I'm always prepared for an emergency.' I smiled, hoping she wouldn't see my nervousness. This was the second comment about this in less than a day. Was Sydney such an obsessive dieter? Yes, I'd noticed that my clothes were getting a bit tight, but I didn't eat _that _much…

_Stop worrying about yourself_. 'So, what's up?' I said to Angeline, after she'd stuffed two cookies down her throat.

'Nothing,' she said.

This time, I really rolled my eyes. 'Of course not. Angie – can I call you that?' She nodded, looking a bit confused, and I continued, 'I know we're not the bestest of friends, but if something is bothering you, you can just tell me. Even if you think I won't understand; I might surprise you.'

She looked at her hands as she bit off a part of the third cookie. 'It's being here.'

'Say what?'

She peeked up at me. 'See! I knew you wouldn't understand.'

'Only because I don't know what you mean. What's wrong with being here? My room is that gross?' It wasn't; I'd been very tidy, mostly because I kept hoping some random file would jump at me and explain what the Alchemists were or how Sydney could be related to Adrian. If I made a mess out of my room, I'd never find those things.

'Not that. Here.' She gestured around, which could still mean she was talking about the room, but I let it slip. 'At Amberwood. With you guys.'

'What's wrong with that?'

'Oh come _on_, Sydney! You can't say you haven't noticed. I don't belong here, in this fancy place. You and Eddie and Jill don't notice, because you've always been to places like this, but I… I…' She ate the last cookie and chewed while she thought. With her mouth still full, she said, 'I still have difficulty with the fucking computers!'

I forced myself not to recoil from the crumbs she sprayed on me. 'That's something you'll learn,' I said.

'Is it? Because I've been here for weeks now and I still don't understand half of what they're saying in my classes. I still don't know what I can and can't wear because people _keep _reproaching me for it and I just don't know what's wrong, and I told you you wouldn't understand.' She seemed cheered at the thought that at least she was right. 'Can I have more cookies?'

'Go ahead.' I gave her the package and remembered the comments on Sydney's eating habits. 'Just finish them all. And I _do _understand what you mean.'

'Oh, yes, because you know just what it's like to be thrown into a completely different life,' she said. 'I just can't keep up with this. You have no idea what that's like – I see you, walking around the school, knowing these are your people and… and understanding what conjunctive forms are and I _don't_!'

I choked back the lump in my throat. She had just described exactly the way I felt when I looked at Eddie, or Jill, or even Angeline, now that I thought about it. I was so shocked I let out a small laugh before I could help myself.

'And now you're laughing at me,' Angeline said. 'Yeah, a great help you are.'

'I'm only laughing because it's so familiar,' I said. She looked surprised, so I said, 'What you just said… I know _exactly _how you feel. Constantly feeling like you're not good enough, like you'll never fit in, wondering why you wanted this in the first place…'

'I know why I wanted it,' she said, not meeting my eye. 'I wanted to get away from there. I just didn't think it'd be this hard.'

I put an arm around her. 'It'll get better,' I said. 'You're already doing way better than you did when you just came here, right? Give it some more time and no one'll know you didn't grow up here. And whenever you need help with anything – be it homework or social cues or whatever – you know where to find me, right?'

She looked at me for a couple of seconds. 'Thanks,' she finally said. 'I… Maybe I will.'

We sat in silence while she finished my cookies and I contemplated texting Adrian and ask him to meet me again tomorrow. Angeline was the first one to speak again.

'So, er… could you explain the computers to me?' she said. 'I still don't understand how everything works with that word-program.'

'Sure.'

* * *

**A/N: Just finished _The golden lily_. First time I came across a boy suddenly speaking Latin in fiction (that wasn't written by me). Hated the inaccuracies when it came down to the classics, though, but I'll let it pass because I'm already happy there's finally a protagonist who LIKES LATIN AND GREEK! YES WE EXIST! Sorry, had to get that out. Next chapter should be up soon.**


	16. Sydney: It's better than nothing

**Sydney**

'**It's more than nothing, at least'**

**From:** Natasha Miranova (NatashaMiranova )

**To**: Katie (Ilovejekaternina )

**Subject:** Talk

Hey Kate!

How ar u? Is everything OK? Have u got a phone so we can text and call? It would be easier. I just thought Id tell you Ive been thinking and I do remember something, but I think it might be easier if we talk face to face (and I miss u!)! Tomorrow night, eleven PM, Marcia's?

Love & kisses

Tasha

* * *

It had been three days since I'd last seen Dimitri and I was starting to feel it. Not only because of the ever-increasing dizziness and bloodlust, but also because I missed having someone to talk to. I'd been all but mute lately, apart from the odd conversation with a librarian or cashier. The loneliness was wearing me out and I was grateful Natasha wanted to meet.

As I was sitting in Marcia's, a small coffee place not far from Kate's house, I sipped my latte and wondered if what Natasha had found was worthwhile. When I'd called Dimitri with the plan – the most thrilling moment of yesterday and the only conversation I had that was longer than three sentences – he was doubtful. He said there was a chance Natasha was trying to set me up and that I'd be caught by the guardians; if that was the case, there'd be nothing he could do. Another escape wouldn't be possible, not with the heightened security Kate was sure to get.

_Then again, it's not like I haven't escaped from heavier-guarded prisons_, I thought, signaling to the waitress that I'd like a refill of my coffee. _But it would definitely be a complication I can't use right now._

'My God, Kate, are you on _time_?'

I looked up to see Natasha smiling down on me. Noticing the way she held out her arms, I got up and hugged her. If there was anything this experience had taught me, it was to be less averse to Moroi. Being one yourself did that to you.

'I'm so glad to see you,' she said, taking the seat opposite of mine. 'I've been so worried because you weren't there when I went upstairs but then I saw your note and it's _such _a relieve to e-mail you, like, you can't imagine. What do you _do _all day? Apart from hiding, I mean. Really, how did you stay away from the guardians for so long? They must be all out, looking for you…'

They weren't, as a matter of fact. Only a very select group was allowed to search for me; Rose had said they didn't want more people finding out where Jill was and that she'd been attacked. It was a small comfort.

'Just… you know, planning things,' I said. 'I've kept myself busy. What did you remember?'

The waitress chose that moment to appear by our table and look at Natasha. 'Would you like something to drink?' she said.

'I'd like a hot chocolate, please,' Natasha said. The waitress wrote it down and then walked off, while Natasha frowned at my drink. 'Are you drinking coffee? I thought you kinda hated that.'

How could I land in the body of someone who hated coffee? I knew those people existed, but…

'I need the caffeine,' I said. 'All extra energy is welcome right now.'

'That's true, I guess. Oh, Kate, I just can't get used to your new look.' She reached out and touched my hair. 'Brown, of all colors. You could've at _least_ gone for blonde. I'm sure you'd look hot with that.'

'"Looking hot" isn't on my mind right now. Natasha, please, this is very important. You said you - '

I was interrupted once more by the waitress, who'd come with Natasha's hot chocolate. 'Is there anything else I could get you, dear?'

'No, I'm good,' she said. 'You want anything, Katie?'

I shook my head and to my great relief the waitress left. 'Natasha – what did you remember?'

'What?'

Underneath the table, my hand clenched into a fist. 'In the e-mail? You said you remembered something.'

'Oh, that. Right. Yes, remember that day when we were at the beach last summer and Mark got the _worst _sunburn in, like, ever?'

_No. _'More or less.'

'Okay. I don't really know if this is what you meant, but when we went to the bar and you said to me, "I'm going to try something" and then you grabbed that girl's hand – you know, the one with the _huge _boobs – and you just looked very intense?'

_No. _But there was something familiar in this… 'Very vaguely. I'm sorry, what did I do exactly?'

Natasha ran a hand through her hair. 'You just looked her in the eyes and then… She looked very surprised, and so did you and she said "Oh my god!" and then you staggered and sat down again. And she just kept looking at you.'

For a moment I was speechless. It couldn't be that it wasn't even Kate in my body, but someone else entirely – could it? 'I… The girl, was she Moroi too?'

'Nah, she was a human – you said it worked better with them,' said Natasha. 'Because afterwards you said you'd been _inside _her for a moment – oh, you have to remember that! Have you really forgotten? I'd never forget it if I could do something that cool.'

'Yeah, I… It's just that everything's a bit fuzzy,' I said. 'Doing that isn't very good for my brain.'

'And it was already such a mess,' she said, but she was smiling. I had to say, it was a first – not many people made jokes about my intelligence, at least not a lack of it.

'So did I tell you how I did it?'

'Erm… Sort of? You said you focus all your energy and magic on where you touch that person and then – you know, like in _Harry Potter_, when they use the Portkey? How they're pulled into something? You said that's how you did it.'

'Oh, well,' I said breezily, trying not to freak out over the fact that my life was now on par with _Harry Potter_. 'So… how have you been? Is there more news about that attack on Ji – the princess?'

As Natasha told me of their plans – mostly details I filed away for Rose later – I wondered how she still hadn't noticed I wasn't Kate. I had asked questions about mind-swapping and I must be behaving strangely for Kate; were no alarms going off in Natasha's head? Was the thought of switching bodies with someone _so _alien that it never popped into her head, not even when she'd seen it before?

'They thought about getting Mark in on the new plan,' said Natasha, after a lot of technical information. My interest was piqued; wasn't Mark Kate's ex-boyfriend? 'But they decided not to, because he… well, he was kind of angry with them for what happened last time.'

Here she looked at me expectantly, so I said, 'O-oh really?'

'Yeah, he said that if they'd planned it better, you wouldn't be in this shit. He misses you, you know. I saw him yesterday, he looked rotten. Though he might just be coming down with something, loads of people have the flu now… Anyway, he asked if we knew anything about you yet and I said we didn't because I wasn't sure if you wanted him to know but if you want me to tell him then I will because he's so worried about you and it wouldn't be fair to keep him out of the loop when he probably just wants to help right?' She took a deep breath after that long rambling.

'You can't tell him,' I said, before she went off again. 'I mean it, N – Tasha. Nobody else can know. I can't risk this leaking out to… anyone.'

'But Mark wouldn't tell anyone. He's just – I mean, I know you guys had fights and everything, but he cared about you, Kitty. And now all he knows is that you're a fugitive and like he said, you could be dead or locked up in some scary basement or something and he wouldn't know and maybe he could help, you know? Like, if you know what you want to do, or if you think you could use our help with something, well, two is more than one, right?'

'Natasha - '

'And maybe you could make up and make out and then something good would've come from this and oh my god, if you eloped to Russia he could come with you and you could start your life over again and that would be terribly romantic.' She beamed at me.

I hated to end her reverie. 'Natasha, no. I understand that Mark's worried -' No, I didn't, because I couldn't understand how anyone would want Kate to be okay, but that was just me, '- but he really can't know. That's not open for debate. No matter how romantic things might seem, I just can't take the risk.'

During my little speech, Natasha's face fell and she looked resigned. 'I guess I get that. It just… sucks.'

'It does,' I said.

'Hey, Kate… You won't… I mean, you're not going to turn yourself in or anything like that, right? You are trying to escape? Because… I'm glad you're here, I really am, but I don't think you should stay, if you get what I mean?' Her eyes were wide. 'Apart from Mark and me, you wouldn't be leaving behind much. And we'll go with you, if you want us to – or at least I will. The attempt failed and that sucked, but… I don't think it would've made much of a difference if it _had _worked.'

_Made a difference how?_ I thought. My confusion had to be written all over my face, because Natasha continued, 'Dad is just an ass. He shouldn't have proposed you for this and you shouldn't have accepted it just because you want him to like you. He won't. He doesn't like anyone. Probably not even himself. I don't know if your staying here is so you could… earn his respect or something, but it won't work.'

Her cheery manner of earlier had vanished. I didn't think Natasha was usually this serious.

'It's not because of Dad,' I said. 'It's something else.'

The waitress reappeared, a pot of coffee in her hand. 'Would you like a refill, dear?' she said to me.

'Yes, please.'

Natasha and I were silent while she poured me some more coffee and when she was gone, I looked at the cup in front of me. For the first time in days I thought of my father – and had difficulty not to cringe. If he found out what I'd done – drink blood, use magic, break human, Moroi and Alchemist law – I'd be in so much trouble. Would I ever be able to tell him, if I got my body back? Would he ever talk to me again?

Would any Alchemist? Was behaving like a Moroi, even out of necessity, bad enough to be sent to a Reeducation Centre?

And that was all in the event I actually got my body back, something I was all but certain of. And if I didn't become Sydney again – what would I do? How much longer would I search for an explanation? Weeks, months, years? The guardians were bound to find me sooner or later, even with this small unit.

'Katie?' Natasha said. 'I have to go, my shift starts in thirty minutes.'

I tore myself out of my worries. 'Oh, already?'

She nodded. 'Will's got me working my ass off,' she said. 'I'll e-mail you when I know more about that attack and if you change your mind about anything – be it Dad or staying or Mark – you'll know how to reach me, right?'

'Don't worry, I will,' I said. We both got up; I downed my coffee in one go, scorching my esophagus. I hardly noticed.

'Good luck with everything,' she said, pulling me in another one of her hugs. Then she got out her wallet and said, 'I'll pay.'

'You don't have to - '

'I've got it, Kate. Come on.'

We waited as Natasha paid and then we went outside. Out in the open I started worrying about the guardians again. Natasha noticed my tension and said, 'Kate, everything's going to be all right. Please, relax, keep your head clear and _ask when you need something_. Right?'

'Right.'

She kissed me on my cheek. 'See you soon. Where are you staying, by the way? Maybe I could visit you…'

'I don't think that's a good idea – just in case… you know. Anything.'

She rolled her eyes. 'You sound like one of those guys who always come up with conspiracy theories.' On that note, she left in the exact direction where I'd parked my car. I waited until I was sure I wouldn't bump into her anymore and then went to my car.

On my journey back, I kept replaying part of our conversation. The one I mulled over the most was about the human girl who Kate might've switched bodies with, even if it was only for a couple of seconds. Other parts I hadn't expected came back, too, though, like the part about Kate's father. She'd participate in something as evil as an assassination just to get his approval? Who would do that?

_I would_.

_No, I wouldn't, because I'd know it was wrong_. _Loyalty only goes that far. _

I knew I'd consider it, at least. And I hated myself for thinking that.

After I'd parked the car, I called Rose and gave her the new information on the attack.

'You're a star, Syd,' she said. 'A real hero. Found anything yet? Did Natasha remember?'

'She gave me a vague idea of what I might have to do,' I said. 'I just have no idea if I could do it. It seemed like pretty advanced magic.' And ordinary magic was already enough to creep me out. 'It's more than nothing, at least.'

'That's good,' she said. 'Meanwhile, your body has been more or less normal, I think. Attends classes, acts normal around the others…'

'And her Alchemist duties? How is she doing with those?'

'I don't know. I don't _think _there's been a lot of Strigoi activity here lately, so maybe she just got lucky.'

'It's only a matter of time before something does come up, though.' I opened the door to my motel room, wishing it was the door to my Amberwood room I was opening. The thought of Kate handling any Alchemist tasks wasn't a pleasant one; how much trouble would she get me in before this was over? 'How is everyone else? Jill? Eddie? Angeline?' I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. 'Adrian?'

'They're all fine.'

I wasn't sure if that answer soothed me or not. 'Don't they notice anything weird about me?'

'Oh Sydney, I don't know. Probably, yes, but how would they explain it? It's just so far-fetched…'

'I know, I know,' I sighed. 'Anyway, Rose, I think I'm going to take a shower and then go to sleep. When are you coming over, or Dimitri?'

'Tomorrow, probably. The day after that at the latest; depends on whether we can catch those terrorists already with this new information. Think you can hold out that long?'

'I'll have to. Bye. Say hi to Dimitri for me. And Rose?'

'Yeah?'

'Thank you so much for everything.'

'No problem, Sydney,' she said; I could picture her smiling. 'I'm happy to help. Good night.'

I hung up, threw my phone to the bed and went to the bathroom. After a long shower, I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. My hand closed around my phone again. I stared at the screen, telling myself I shouldn't do this. It was stupid and it served no goal whatsoever. He was probably asleep anyway.

I dialed the number and held the phone to my ear.

He picked up on the first ring.

'Adrian,' said the voice on the other side of the line.

I'd half-hoped I'd get his voicemail. Now I had to talk to him, something I both feared and wanted. 'Er… excuse me, who is this?' I said.

'Adrian Ivashkov. Who am I speaking to?'

His voice was enough to make me clutch at my pillow, wishing it was him I was holding. 'Adrian Ivashkov? Oh, I'm sorry, I must've got the wrong number.'

'No problem,' he said. 'Bye.'

That night I felt incredibly, heart-clenchingly lonely.


	17. Kate: You have so much Potenzial

**Kate**

'**You have so much Potenzial'**

'Sydney, setzen Sie sich, bitte.'

I took the seat opposite the teacher's desk and waited in silence while my German teacher, Angela Schmied, ordered a pile of paper on her desk. She was a small woman with round glasses and dark red hair she always kept in a tight bun. She usually spoke German and when she spoke English, she still spoke German, except with some mangled English words in it. In the two and a half week since I'd become Sydney I'd already seen Schmied burst out in furious German at our class for being sub-standard and not behaving the way we, the crème de la crème, should – no less than three times.

She might be small, but she filled all students, me included, with a deep fear.

This was not going to be good.

'What's wrong, ma'am?' I said, forcing myself to look at her rather than my hands.

'I would like to talk with you about your Leistungen, your performance,' she said. She took one of the papers from the pile and I recognized yesterday's pop quiz on _Die Erlkönig. _My heart sank. I didn't want to be reminded of my failure.

'Oh? Is something wrong with that?' I said, keeping my voice light. 'Because if it is, you should know, yesterday wasn't my best day, I'd slept really badly and I just have a lot on my mind - '

'Schweig,' she said. 'It is not only your test from yesterday. I have noticed that you pay less attention in class and are always in the clouds with your head. Ja, du bist jetzt jung und schön und ohne Sorgen, but you need to think about your Karriere!' She gave me a pointed look over her glasses. 'Ist es ein Knabe der dir das angetan hat?'

I stared at her as I translated that sentence. It couldn't be – was she inquiring after my love life? 'Er…'

'Because you must focus on other things, not boys. This test?' She held up the test and waved it in front of my face. 'Das is Schrott. You can do better than this, Sydney. I have seen your earlier results – I want these back.'

'Yes, Ma'am,' I said. 'It's just a blip. I'll do better again, I promise.'

She smiled, revealing a pair of even, yellowed teeth. 'Ach, Sydney, Kind. You have so much Potenzial. Ich möchte das gern in der Klasse sehen. Sie können gehen.'

'Okay. And I will do better on the next test.' I picked up my bag and hurried to the cafeteria. Most people already had their food, so I didn't have stand in the line long; when I'd filled my plate with vegetables and a glass of water – and a chocolate bar because I wasn't _that _rigorous in my dieting – I sat down with Julia and Kristin.

'You'll never believe what crazy idea this girl has come up with now,' said Kristin. 'Come on, guess.'

'She wants to have a baby so she'll be featured on MTV?' I said.

Julia rolled her eyes. 'Please.'

'Okay, er…' I pierced some lettuce with my fork while I thought. 'During the next match you're going to make a political statement by streaking across the field?'

'No – but that would be funny,' said Kristin. 'Maybe you should do that anyway, Julia.'

'I'll think about it,' Julia said. 'No, what I want isn't that weird, Kristin just thinks it is because she's jealous she didn't come up with it sooner. Sydney, your older brother – Adrian, right? – he's that tall, pale guy who looks like he should be modeling?'

'Yes…' I said slowly, wondering where she was taking this.

'He doesn't have a girlfriend, does he?'

_Yes, he does. Me. I'm dating my brother. Just thought I'd let you know._

Although it would've been priceless to see the look on their faces when I said that, I supposed that wasn't the proper response. 'Not a steady one, but that's more because he doesn't really do girlfriends. Just short flings.'

'Do you think he'd be interested in a fling with me?' said Julia. She cocked her head to the side and grinned broadly. 'Or just a date?'

'Oh, I don't know. You might be a bit young for him,' I said. 'But I'll ask him.'

'Thanks Syd. I owe you one.'

'So, what did Schmied want?' said Kristin. 'Worship the ground you walk on, ask why you don't move to Germany because you're just so fluent, offer her body for you to make babies with…?'

'You're revolting,' I laughed. 'No, she, er… I kind of messed up that thing about the Erlkönig, so she gave me the "I expected better from you"-talk.' I rolled my eyes and tried not to notice Julia and Kristin's shock. Surely even Sydney had to fail once in a while? 'You know what it's like, they start thinking you're Superman and then the tiniest mistake makes them feel like you've abandoned them.'

'I bet she's sitting at het Sydney shrine, crying,' said Julia. 'Weeping for the soul, now forever lost to Germany.'

'Yeah, well, she had a point, so for next week I'm going to study really hard. Who will she turn to if even I stop getting good grades in her class?'

'Speaking of studying, you shouldn't do it this afternoon. Julia and I are going shopping and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us,' said Kristin. 'Now, I know we're not as interesting as Goethe, but we'll buy you coffee.'

'And maybe we could stop by Adrian,' said Julia.

'We'll see,' I said, laughing. 'I'll come with you. Right after last period?'

'No, I've some things to arrange with Rochester. Shouldn't be much longer than thirty minutes, though. I'll text you when I'm finished,' Julia said. 'Maybe we should stay in town and have dinner as well. This cafeteria food is starting to get boring.'

'That's because you don't eat the right food,' I said. I opened my chocolate bar and took a bite, knowing that this would _never _bore. 'Okay, so, this afternoon, you'll text me, we'll go to town and eat there, too.'

'Very well recapped,' said Kristin.

We spent the rest of the lunch period discussing what our favorite Johnny Depp movie was, and I felt at ease like I never had at Amberwood. This was something I could've done as Kate as well, but that I didn't have to give up now that I was Sydney. I loved how normal it made me feel, as if one day this would all come naturally to me; one day I wouldn't have to pretend to be Sydney anymore. I'd just _be _her.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, it's short, and I apologise, but this had to be written for reasons that will soon become clear! I hope the German wasn't too confusing (think I should put translations there, too?) and the next chapter should be up soon.**


	18. Sydney: I'll see you soon

_**Sydney**_

_'_**I'll see you soon**_**'**_

_What happened?_

My head hurt, as did my shoulder. Disoriented, I opened my eyes and found myself looking at a wooden table leg. I now started noticing other things as well; the sort carpet against my cheek, the dizziness that hadn't really left me for days and the ringing of a cell phone.

I scrambled to my feet and ignored the sudden rush of nausea as well as I could. Holding on to the desk for balance, I got my phone and pressed the 'answer' button. 'H-Hello?'

'Sydney? Are you okay?' Dimitri said.

I sat down on the chair and thought back of the last moments I could remember from before I passed out. The headache, the fatigue, the hopelessness. I stared at my hand; a hand I'd stared at so much these past few days I could have drawn it with my eyes closed. Not that it mattered – all the effort and the most I'd felt was a strange tingly sensation in my palms.

And then I'd fainted.

'I don't think I am,' I said, glad that at least my voice was steady now. 'It's not working. I can't do this, Dimitri. I can't.' My chin started wobbling. 'Kate must've spent years practicing this and she knows how to use magic and I don't and I have no idea what I'm doing and nothing is working and I'm so tired and…'

'Sydney. Sydney, calm down. Take a deep breath,' he said. I did what he said, and then he continued, 'You're going to be just fine, okay? You'll figure this out.'

'But what if I don't?' I whispered. 'What if I really can't do this? They'll find me, the guardians. Even with you and Rose helping me, they'll find me. And then I'll be locked up and there'll be no way for me to get my body back.'

'That won't happen. What has happened so far?'

'I did what Natasha said Kate had done. I tried to focus all my magic to one place, but… it's hopeless. Even _if _I could focus this magic – which I can't – I still wouldn't know how to actually switch bodies. That's something completely different and I can hardly just try _that_ all the time.' I took another deep breath and tried to steady myself. 'Sorry for that rant,' I said. 'It's not really my day.'

'That's okay,' he said. 'Rant all you want. But…'

'But?'

'Have you eaten since I left?'

I thought of the gallons of coffee I'd consumed, not to mention whole loafs of bread and a sickening amount of sugar, all in an attempt to give myself more energy. 'No, I haven't.'

He swore in Russian. 'You haven't eaten for _six days_? While you've been using magic this intensively? Sydney, are you _crazy_? You should've called me or Rose. And we should've gotten back to you earlier – I'm so sorry. This was stupid on my part. Do you need me to come over now?'

'Yes,' I said immediately. I was past shame for my dependence. 'Please.'

'I'm on my way,' he said. 'And I think we might need to change our tactic.'

A change of plans? 'What? Why?'

'Because you were right. This isn't working; you won't find out on your own. I think it might be time we pay a visit to Kate and let her help us a bit.' He sounded grim and I had no difficulty picturing his face, with his brow furrowed and his mouth a tight line. 'So I could come to you, you could come here, or maybe you could meet me halfway? Think you're up to that?'

I looked at the ground where I'd fallen after I'd fainted. It would be irresponsible, to say the least, if I were to drive right now. But I wouldn't use magic while I was in the car and I'd see Dimitri sooner if I came to meet him…

_You need your blood after using too much magic, and you're willing to put others in danger for it? How did this happen? How did things get so messed-up? _

'I don't think it would be safe if I were to drive right now,' I said. 'I might fall asleep at the wheel and it wouldn't help anyone if I got into a car accident. Well, anyone but Kate.'

'Okay. I should be with you in an hour or so. Don't use any magic; don't exhaust yourself. Just lie down and relax, okay? Everything is going to be all right.' His promise, empty though it was, soothed me.

I nodded.

'Sydney? Are you still there?'

It took me a moment to realize what was wrong. 'Oh, yes, sorry. I nodded. Sorry. My brain… it seems to be on stand-by for now. Maybe lying down isn't such a bad idea.'

'Just relax. I'll be with you as soon as I can. Bye.'

After he hung up, I went to the bed and threw myself on it without bothering to get undressed or snuggle under the blanket. My head was reeling and even something as simple as not having to stand up anymore was a relief.

I must've dozed off, because I was woken again by my phone. Hoping it was Dimitri calling to let me know he was here, I answered it. 'Hello?'

'Sydney, hey.' It was Rose. 'You're not in L.A. right now, are you?'

'What? No… Why?'

'The ones you were sure were involved: the father, Ivan Miranov, Darya Oblonskaya, Darren Wilde, Lev Vronski, Natasha Miranova and the hired human Frank Charles?'

'I… yes. At least that's what Natasha told me.' I sat up and suddenly realized where she was going with this. 'Why? The attack isn't for another week. What are you going to do?'

'You don't really think we're just going to sit here and wait until they attack Jill, do you?' she said dryly. 'We're going to bust them now; there should be enough evidence to back up at least a case for the first attack and surely they must have _some _things for what they're about to do.'

'And you're going _now_?' I said. 'As in, today?'

'We're leaving in thirty minutes; I just thought I'd check with you, see if there's anything you need from the house. I mean, if I'm there anyway…'

'No, I don't need anything. I think.' I pressed the heel of my hand against my forehead as I tried to think of something I might have left there. Nothing – except… 'Do you think you could leave Natasha out of this?'

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'But no. She's too involved. I'm sure she'll get a lighter sentence when they find out she helped them being uncovered, though. If we can somehow explain this all to the judge. But she did help with the planning and there's no reason why she shouldn't have helped in the previous attack, too.'

I thought of Natasha's face lighting up when she saw me, and felt a pang of guilt.

_Then she shouldn't have joined that group_, I thought, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I should do something for her. After all, I still wouldn't have any idea what to do if it weren't for her.

'Just… don't be rough with her, okay?' I said. 'And if there's a way she could get away with it…'

'I'll try. But that's not really my part of the entire thing,' Rose said. 'I just do the catching. I'll make sure the guardians won't be unnecessarily rough. How are things with you, by the way? Dimitri said he was on his way to you… Hungry?'

I choked. 'Like you can't imagine.'

'Just hold out for a little bit longer. Dimitri says he's got a new plan?'

'Yeah, he does. Listen, Rose – I'm sure you're very busy right now and I'm not… I need to rest a bit. Good luck with everything, okay?'

'Thanks. I'll see you soon.'

I didn't even bother to put my phone away. Instead I kept it in my limp hand and waited until sleep took over again.

I wasn't lucky enough to fall asleep again, but when someone knocked on my door, I didn't care about my weariness. It had to be Dimitri – the maid didn't come to this room, because I'd put on a do-not-disturb sign, and who other than Dimitri or the hotel staff would bother me?

Hurrying to the door, I noticed that I wasn't even repulsed anymore by the thought of drinking blood. The need for it had become too big; as I opened the door and saw Dimitri standing there, it didn't matter that it was his _blood _I would be drinking. All I could think of in that moment was that finally the thirst would be quenched.

And I hated myself for it.

But not as much as I hated Kate for putting me through this.

'Christ, Sydney,' he said when he saw me. 'We really shouldn't have waited so long with feeding you again.'

'You think so? And there I always thought it would be _good _for Moroi to be fed once a week, instead of daily.' I closed my eyes and sat down on the bed again. 'Sorry. Sorry for that. I'm just a bit cranky. I really appreciate what you're doing.' I looked up and saw he was rolling up his sleeve. Thinking of the warm, pulsing blood flowing through his veins, my mouth started watering.

'Dimitri?' I said, as he rummaged in his bag for a knife.

'Hmm?'

'Hurry.'

...

I felt better than I had in days. My head wasn't pounding anymore, breathing came naturally again; it even seemed my vision was clearer now that I'd had blood. It was a good thing Dimitri was so tall and muscular, otherwise I'd be worried about his blood loss.

'Now that we've done that…' he said, while he bandaged his wrist, 'It's time to go to Palm Springs.'

My head shot up. 'What? Now?'

'Now.'


	19. Kate: Moroi aren't the only danger

**Kate**

'**Moroi extremists aren't the only dangerous people out there'**

'Sydney! Oi! Sydney!' Eddie came running towards me, without Jill or Angeline in his wake. That was enough to alert me – he never let Jill out of his sight. But when I saw the excitement in his eyes, I knew it wasn't because something bad had happened.

'Eddie? What's up?'

He looked around, but I was alone; it was after the last period and I hadn't seen Kristin or Julia yet. Eddie waved at someone he knew, but didn't invite him over; instead, he turned to me. 'You're never going to believe what happened.'

'Try me.'

He grinned. 'You remember that attack on Jill, two weeks ago?'

'It's not something I'm likely to forget,' I said. And it wasn't something I liked to think about. Though that day had saved me, I felt more and more guilty as time passed. Not to mention that discussing this with someone who had been there was a risky business; what if I said too much, or knew too little?

'No, that's true. It's not every day she gets attacked,' he said.

Suddenly, I knew why he was bringing this up. There was only one reason for him to start about the attack and sound that cheerful. They'd found her. They'd found Sy – Kate. She was going to jail. I was safe!

'They caught her?' I said, trying to keep my voice down. 'Kate?'

Some of the excitement left his face. 'I… no. No, they haven't found her yet, but they will.'

My disappointment had to have shown, because he hastened to say, 'But they did catch the other people behind it. They were planning another assault; Rose and some others arrested them just a couple of hours ago. There were documents, they confessed – and the _other _attack… well, there won't be anyone to execute it now.'

I struggled to keep the smile on my face. They hadn't caught Kate – instead they'd caught the others. I had no difficulty guessing who they were; my father, definitely, and Leo, Darren. People who had tried to hurt Jill and, when they failed, wanted to do it again. I thought of Jill, the way she started babbling when she was nervous, her warm smile when comforting Angeline, the expression on her face when she looked at me, like I could fix anything.

My hand clenched into a fist. 'Where are they now? Can they be tried when they haven't – when the attack hasn't been performed?'

'Of course,' he said. 'They've already said they helped with the former attack and just planning this one… They're going to be in a whole lot of trouble. And now that they're caught, I'm sure we'll find that other girl soon, too.'

'You've been saying that for almost two weeks now.' I said. 'She's still free, isn't she?'

His smile tightened. 'Not because of lack of effort on the guardian's side.'

'Lack of skill then, maybe?'

'No. We just underestimated her, is all.' He crossed his arms in front of his chest, but then he sighed and relaxed. 'Sorry, it's a bit of a touchy subject. We just don't understand how she managed to stay under the radar so long.'

'Crazy people sometimes have a knack for that.'

All the earlier joy had disappeared from his features, leaving only his usual vigilance. 'Do you think she's crazy?'

'Oh, yes. Why else would someone do something horrible like that? Jill is a girl only a couple of years younger than she is; who would want to hurt her? Apart from someone who isn't right in the head, I mean.'

Eddie didn't seem impressed. 'Madness must run in the family, then. Her father and sister were both in the organisation as well. It would explain a lot, but… Not everyone who does something like this is crazy. Not per se.'

I clenched my fist so hard my nails dug into the skin of my palms. Natasha was caught? I should've thought of that. I should've known she wouldn't leave. But for her to be caught – she was going to be in so much trouble. What was her role in the scheme this time? Was she supposed to be the distraction now? Was she just there for the planning? Maybe she hadn't even done anything – surely they couldn't accuse her of anything then? I added it to the list of things I had to research. It was becoming a long list; I still had no idea what Alchemists were or why I was "related" to Eddie and Adrian, and now this.

'Sydney? You okay?' Eddie said.

I forced a smile back on my face. 'Yes. It's so good they're finally caught. People – people that weird, you never know what they do when they're free. They could harm themselves. Or others. Crazy people.'

Frowning, Eddie put a hand on my shoulder. 'Is something wrong?'

'Wrong? No!' I pushed his hand away. 'No, I'm just a bit overwhelmed by it all. The thought that someone could hurt Jill and all that. I'm just really glad that she's okay. Does she know yet?'

He shook his head. 'I'm not sure if I should tell her.'

'She deserves to know, doesn't she?'

'Yes, but…' He ran a hand through his hair and stared at the Amberwood grounds surrounding us, with a faraway look in his eyes. 'It would probably upset her. And nothing has really happened…'

'She should still hear it, and rather from you than from someone else,' I said. 'Someone tried to kill her; it seems like something she should know. Maybe it would help her… keep her guards up or something. Constant vigilance and all that.' I quickly stuck out my tongue as I said that, but the reference was lost on him. I really needed to show him the benefits of having hobbies other than fighting.

'You're probably right,' he sighed. 'At least this time it's good news – they were caught. I'll go for her now; you want to come?'

I glanced at my watch. 'Nah, I expect Julia and Kristin will want to go soon. We're going into town, shopping, that kind of thing.' Never mind that I still hadn't found out Sydney's PIN number. I'd work my way around that.

'Oh, okay. Have fun, then,' he said. 'And be careful; murderous Moroi extremists aren't the only dangerous people out there.'

'I'll keep it in mind,' I said. 'Good luck with telling Jill.'

'Thanks. You're going to be here for dinner?'

I shook my head. 'No, we're probably eating in town, so don't expect me back too soon. And _yes_, I'll be careful,' I said, laughing, when I saw the worry crossing his face. 'Besides, I'll be with Julia and Kristin; I'll be perfectly safe. Haven't you just _caught _the bad guys?'

'That's true.'

For the first time since I'd become Sydney – maybe for the first time, period – Eddie hugged me. It was quick, it was a bit awkward, but it was affectionate. It told me he cared about me. He was worried about me. He wanted me to be safe.

'There's Julia,' I said, hoping my voice wouldn't betray the lump I suddenly felt in my throat. 'Have fun with Jill. Celebrate this somehow. With cake or something like that.' I raised my hand in a salute and hurried off.

'Ready for some fun?' Julia said. 'I know I am.'

'You always are. Kristin coming? How are we getting there?'

'I'm going to drive.' She held up her keys and jiggled them in front of my face. 'Unless, of course, you can't stand the thought of being in a car other than Latte.' Her mouth twitched. I wondered if we had an inside joke or if she was making fun of me.

'I'll survive,' I said. We started walking towards the parking lot. I spotted Eddie a couple of hundred yards away, talking to Jill and Angeline. Just before I turned my head away I saw Jill jump and wrap her arms around Eddie. Maybe they would become a couple. I hoped they would, and not because it would be funny or would be a disgrace at Court. Eddie and Jill were two people who would make each other happy.

'Your family is so close,' said Julia. 'Always together and all.'

I smiled at her as I opened the door to the passenger's seat. 'We always have been. One big, close family.' So close that we would officially be having incest – but it might be best not to tell her that.

'Speaking of which, where's your brother?'

'Eddie? Over there.' I nodded at where Eddie was standing, but Julia shook her head.

'No, I mean the other one – not Adrian, but… the blond one.' She put the keys in the ignition and turned the radio on. This gave me enough time to recollect myself enough to remove the expression of horror on my face. 'What was his name again?'

_I'm supposed to have another brother? What? How did this happen? _

'He was hot,' she said.

'Good genes,' I choked.

'How modest you always are, Sydney.' She rolled her eyes at me. She opened her mouth again and I braced myself for another question about the brother I didn't know I had, but she said, 'Finally, Kristin's here. You're so lazy,' she said, when Kristin opened the door and sat on the back seat.

'I'll just pretend you didn't say that,' she said. 'Oh, I love this song!'

As Julia drove away, we sang along with the radio. I opened my window and let my hair get blown around my face, let the sun caress my skin. It was hard to worry on a beautiful day like this.


	20. Sydney: Hello, Sydney

**Sydney**

'**Hello, Sydney'**

Being back in Palm Springs was strange. At times I had to remind myself my problem wasn't solved yet and that I couldn't just go to Amberwood, no matter how much I wanted to. As I walked past the familiar places, I was struck by how much I'd missed it. Everything. Palm Springs, Amberwood, Adrian. Even being an Alchemist was something I longed to do again. I wanted the control over my life back and I knew I was getting closer to that moment.

'Sydney, hey.' I jumped when I heard Dimitri's voice, but he wasn't talking to me. Instead, he was on the phone. 'It's Dimitri here… Yes, long time no see. I was wondering if maybe you had time to see me this afternoon? It's rather urgent... You're in town? ... Yes, I know the place. Thirty minutes? Alright then, I'll see you soon.' He hung up and smiled at me.

'We're going to meet her at Joe's Coffee Shop in thirty minutes,' he said.

I couldn't help but guffaw. 'Just like that?'

He raised his eyebrows. 'What did you expect? For me to run into Amberwood, kidnap her and take her to our secret location for some dark ritual?'

I was embarrassed to admit that that _did _come closer to how I'd pictured it. It was just hard to imagine that Kate didn't know Dimitri was on my side. He'd been about the only person in my life since I got out of jail two weeks ago.

'So, what will we do until then?' I said.

'I thought we should drink some coffee. It _is_ a coffee shop, after all.' He nodded to across the street, where Joe's Coffee Shop was. The place wasn't as good as Spencer's, but coffee was coffee and I could use a shot of that.

'Okay, so, let's go over the plan again,' I said, putting a steaming mug of black coffee in front of Dimitri. 'She comes here…'

'You grab her hand, hopefully the change will happen and if not, we'll take her somewhere where we can interrogate her.'

I didn't look at him as I said, 'That could count as kidnapping, legally speaking. She could cause a scene. She _will _cause a scene when she sees me – I know I would. It's about the safest way of ensuring we'll go away…' As I spoke, I looked out of the window, constantly expecting to see someone I knew. This place wasn't too far from Adrian's; what if he stopped by?

_Then he wouldn't recognize you, Sydney_, I thought, my heart sinking. _So it's no use. You'd better focus on important things right now, like getting your body back. _Reminding myself of that part of the mission, I tried to focus my magic on the palm of my hand again. There wasn't more to it than a warm tingling in my fingers.

'Sydney, we'll find a way,' said Dimitri.

I nodded, though I wasn't sure I believed him. 'So if the switch doesn't work right away, where are we taking her?'

He looked like he was suppressing a grin. 'Would it be very B-movie if I told you that our hideout is an abandoned warehouse?'

The corners of my mouth curled up. 'Oh no. That really sounds like we're the baddies in some bad movie. Now all we need are some fake guns and rope to tie her to the railroad and our evil image would be complete.' I had to stifle a laugh. It wasn't even that funny, but my nerves were getting to me.

'Moustache-twirlingly evil,' Dimitri said.

'Maybe I should've bought a moustache. It might hide who I am. Speaking of which…' I reached into my bag and got out a pair of wide-rimmed sunglasses that hid most of my face. Combined with the dark hair and unfamiliar clothes, I hoped they might stop Kate from recognizing me long enough for me to grasp her hand.

'Remember: focus. All you need to think of is just getting back inside your body. You can do it, I know you can.'

He tried to be soothing, but it was obvious he didn't know what he was talking about. And how would he? The only person in the world who had pulled this off was Kate and she wasn't likely to give me classes on it anytime soon.

'Thanks, Dimitri,' I said. 'Just… make sure the back-up plan has a chance of working, okay?'

'I'll have your back,' he said. Then his whole body tensed. Something outside had caught his interest. He quickly downed his coffee and said, 'She's coming. There are two girls with her. One is blonde, the other one dark, they're talking…'

I peeked over my shoulder just in time to see Julia, Kristin and my own body walk past. The muscles in my stomach tightened. This wasn't something we'd foreseen, for Kate to come with others. It made acting fast all the more important.

'She's at the door,' I said, because they were now behind Dimitri's back. He nodded and got up in a swift movement, picking up his duster. I got up as well and headed for the door that was pushed open by Kate.

'I'll get home by public transport or something,' she said, talking over her shoulder. It was incredibly weird to see my own body like this. I noticed her clothes were a bit tight; she had gained some weight. And done something very strange to her hair – _no, my hair_, I corrected mentally. 'Or maybe I'll call you if I'm not too long.' She turned around; she, Kristin and Julia all looked flabbergasted as they took in Dimitri.

'Wow,' Julia whispered.

'Hello, Sydney,' he said.

I didn't waste any time. Before Kate could focus on me, I grabbed her hand and focused all my energy on it. All my magic, all my thoughts, my entire being was being poured into the small place where our hands touched. I prayed like I never had before that it would work and I did feel something. A tugging sensation somewhere deep inside me, growing stronger, stronger –

When I looked up, it was like my world came crashing down.

It hadn't worked.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, it's short! Sorry! The next chapters will be. Something I hadn't thought of when coming up with the Sydney/Kate format. Updates should be sooner now the chaps are shorter. Hope you liked it!**


	21. Kate: You're disgusting

**Kate**

'**You're disgusting.'**

'Shit,' my former voice said.

I stood frozen, staring at my hand. Both of the hands were my own. Kate was here. My old body was here.

'Shit indeed,' I said, too flabbergasted for anything else.

'It's nice to meet you,' Dimitri said. I was confused – I knew who he was. He knew who I was. Why was he introducing himself to me?

I looked up and stared at what had been my own face, or what was visible of it. Kate was breathing heavily through her mouth, her chest heaving up and down. I wished I could see her eyes. Maybe she'd gone crazy.

'Yes, we're family of Sydney's,' I heard Dimitri say. I turned and saw he was talking to Julia and Kristin. 'Second cousins twice removed or something like that.'

'And still you know each other?' said Julia. 'Wow, you really _are _a tight family. Are you planning on coming by more often?'

'Dimitri,' Kate said urgently. 'We need to…'

'Yes. Sydney, could you come with us for a while?' Dimitri turned to me, a wry smile on his face. 'Kate and I need to tell you something.'

'I'm fine here.' My voice was high and breathy with the panic that was flaring up. Dimitri knew. Dimitri Belikov knew and was helping Kate. He was _here_. I needed to get away from him – make sure Kate got arrested – make sure _he _got arrested…

'It's not really something we can discuss in public,' he said. 'It's a bit personal.'

'I'm with friends. I can't just leave them.'

'No, we'll understand. If it's family business… We could always come and pick you up later,' said Julia. 'Maybe we could all go out for dinner later. I'd love to meet more members of your family.'

'They can really tell me here, it doesn't have to take long.' I inched for the door, knowing that running away was futile. _Dimitri Belikov knows. Kate is here_. The thoughts kept returning, making it impossible to think of ways to get me out of this situation. _Dimitri Belikov knows. Kate is here. Belikov knows. Kate. _'I shouldn't keep you waiting.'

'Sydney, it might be better if we were just among family when we tell you,' he said. 'There are some things that need to be arranged and you need to sign some papers…'

I smile in an attempt to hide my terror. 'For what? Why can't it happen here?'

'Because your uncle died. Frederick was hit by a car this morning on his way to work.' He sounded so sincere, I was sure he'd fooled Kristin and Julia. Of course, they thought our entire family was so close, even though I _couldn't _share an uncle with my 'siblings'. 'I know this must be hard for you, but Annabeth is waiting in her hotel and she really needs your support right now. You've always been her favourite.'

Kate made a strange sound that was like a repressed giggle. She clasped her hand to her mouth. On second thought, maybe it was more like a sob.

'Oh, shit, Sydney,' said Kristin, whose eyes were as big as saucers when she looked at me. 'I – I'm so sorry. My condolences to you all. How horrible…'

'If there's anything we can help you with…' Julia said, all signs of flirtiness gone. 'To help with the loss…'

'Thank you, but we really just need to be together right now,' said Dimitri. 'Be strong together, arrange for the funeral, that kind of thing. I'm sorry to ruin your day - '

'No, of course, this is more important,' said Julia. 'Do you need a ride?'

'We're fine, thank you.' Kate smiled at her. 'We really – we really appreciate this.' I thought I heard her choke back tears. What was going on? Did she really believe we'd lost an uncle? It couldn't be – could it?

'We really need to go now,' said Dimitri, checking his watch. 'We promised Annabeth we'd be back before five thirty. She really shouldn't be alone right now. It was nice to meet you and I hope we can see each other again when the circumstances are less grim. Sydney, are you coming?' He placed his hand on the small of my back and led me away. I was too shocked, too confused to do anything but follow him. Besides, what else was I going to do? Run? He'd catch me. Make a scene? People would blame it on the loss.

I looked at my reflection in Kate's glasses and scowled at her.

'Sydney, do you need us to tell the rest of the family?' said Julia softly.

Dimitri froze. I turned around and all but threw my arms around her. 'Yes. Yes, you should tell them that I'm going with Dimitri and Kate. And that they should come, too. Where is Annabeth staying?' I asked Dimitri.

'Desert Riviera Hotel,' he said.

'Tell them to come to the Desert Riviera. They'll know where it is – we were driving there two weeks ago when we met someone who went a bit crazy. If you tell them that, they should be able to find it.' I could feel the sudden distress Dimitri was emanating. _Hasn't thought of that, has he? _

'I'll let them know,' said Julia. 'Sydney, I'm _so _sorry for you…'

'Thank you. I'll see you later.' I could only hope Julia would convey the entire message and that Eddie would understand. He was a guardian – surely he had to be alarmed by this?

I followed Dimitri and Kate to their car. Dimitri opened a door to the back seat for me and Kate, and then went to the passenger side. The moment Kate pulled her door shut, I fumbled at the handle of my own. I couldn't open it now, Dimitri would catch me, but maybe once we were driving…

'You don't have to bother. They're on children's lock,' said Kate. She'd taken off her sunglasses and looked at me like I was a dead bug on the sole of her shoe. 'Thought you were being funny there, did you? Giving a message to Julia – to _my friend_ - '

'A friend who didn't even recognize it when you weren't there anymore,' I said, as Dimitri started the car. 'Sounds like a great friendship you've got there. Didn't you see her? She likes me. She likes me better than she likes you.'

While I spoke, I pulled out my phone as discreetly as possible and started typing without looking. _Just been kidnapped by Dimitri and crazy chick. Don't know where theyre taking me. Save me. _I didn't check if the text was correct, but just sent it to Adrian – or at least I hoped I did. I couldn't be sure without looking.

Kate's lips were pressed together in a tight line. 'This is not the moment to mess with me, Jekaterina,' she whispered. 'If you ever want to get out of jail again, you're going to be very, _very _nice to me. _Very cooperative_.'

'If you want to think so,' I said. Her hand jerked up, like she was going to slap me, and I readied myself for the blow – but it didn't come.

Instead, she spit in my face. 'You're disgusting.'


	22. Sydney: Just tell me!

**Sydney**

**'Just tell me!'  
**

'Tell me! Tell me, please, just _tell me_!'

I'd long gone past the phase where I was cool and demeaning. I'd gone past the phase where I was angry and shouting. I'd gone past the phase where I thought I could intimidate her. I'd reached the phase of despair, where all shouting, crying and begging seemed to be for nought.

'Sydney, calm down,' said Dimitri. He placed his hands on my shoulders and lowered himself so he could look into my eyes. His face was blurry through my tears. 'Just take a deep breath, have some water, okay?'

I shook my head and turned to look at Kate, bound to a chair. 'No! I want it solved. I want this to be over. I just want my body back, Dimitri. I want it back and she has it and she _won't tell me how to get it back!_' At the end my voice became so high it was inaudible.

'I always got the impression you were the cool, collected type of person,' said Kate. Hearing her voice – my voice – was horrible. It kept reminding me of what she had that I didn't anymore. 'Guess I've been impersonating you all wrong these past few weeks. Well, it's not like they really noticed…'

'Shut up!' I screeched. 'Shut up shut up SHUT UP!'

She smirked. 'I thought you wanted me to talk?'

'Jekaterina, Sydney has told me not to hit you to get information from you and as a rule, I don't like hitting women.' Dimitri let go of me and slowly approached Kate. His voice was low and threatening. His Russian accent, always so adorable, now added a menacing edge. 'But if you don't start helping us soon, I might find myself inclined to make an exception for you.' He rested his hands on her armrests and leaned in towards her.

A muscle near her mouth twitched, but she cocked her head and didn't flinch away from him as she said, 'And then what? You'll hit me? Do you really think you can get away with this? If I don't return, they're going to be looking for me. They'll find me. Julia and Kristin know what you look like. Police and guardians are going to be roaming this place, and guess who isn't supposed to be found by them?' She smiled as she looked at me. 'It wouldn't be the outcome you wanted, would it? And then when I tell them you hit me because you thought I was some body-stealer… I don't think _I'm _the one having to worry about going to jail.'

One of the few threads that held me together snapped. 'You _bitch! _You filthy, lying, manipulative _bitch!_' I grabbed fists full of hair and tugged at it, hoping it would keep me sane. '_Tell _me! Tell me how to get my body back!'

'It's mine now,' she said. 'I like it.'

'Are you suicidal?' Dimitri said, sounding almost conversational.

'No. I just know I'll be found and this will be solved,' she said. 'And when it is, I'm going back to enjoying my life as Sydney. You really did lose a good life, Sydney, I'll give you that. I'd want it back, too. Great friends, people who for _some _reason say they're your family, _incest _within that family…'

For a moment I was so distracted I forgot my anger. 'Incest?'

'Yes. Sex between siblings? Although I probably shouldn't tell you more about that – I don't think it would be good for you if you knew. Better to go to jail without that horrible knowledge.'

'What are you talking about? What – what have you done?' I whispered.

'It's not your problem anymore.' Her shoulders went up a bit, like she wanted to shrug, but with her hands bound behind her it just looked strange.

I resisted the urge to slap her. Instead, I took a deep breath and went back to a technique I'd tried earlier – guilt her into telling me. 'Why are you doing this?'

A small frown appeared between her eyebrows. 'And I thought you were smart. Do you really not know? Is it that difficult for you to figure it out? I was _going to jail_. This was getting me out of that and into a life of luxury. Why do you _think _I did it?'

'Well, I thought people _wouldn't _do it because it's the vilest kind of rape imaginable, but maybe that's just me. You didn't _have _to participate in that attack. Natasha managed to stay more or less out of it. And Mark – remember Mark?' I felt a flicker of schadenfreude when she flinched. So she did remember Mark. 'He wanted to escape with you. You could've gone to Mexico or whatever, and you didn't have to do this! You _chose _to do it this way, to first _aid in a murder _and then _steal someone's identity_, just to suit your own petty wishes! Don't tell me you don't know how revolting that is.'

She choked. 'It wasn't like that.'

'Oh, it was _exactly _like that. I don't think you've _ever _thought of the consequences of your actions for anyone else. You've met Jill, haven't you? When you spoke to her, did it cross your mind that she would've been dead if things had gone your way? How did you look her in the eyes, knowing you'd attempted _murder _on her? How can you live with yourself?' As I spoke, my own rage was fuelled again. I clenched my hands into fists.

She looked at the floor, blinking rapidly. 'You have no idea what I've gone through. You don't know what it's like living like I did.'

'Yes, life in the suburbs of Los Angeles must've been horrible,' said Dimitri. 'Do tell us why that rectifies murder. I'm curious.'

She opened her mouth. Maybe she was going to sass him off, maybe she was really going to answer him. But before she could utter a word, there was a loud bang against the door, startling us all.

I swivelled around and felt my heart drop. There, in the doorway, was Eddie.

And behind him was Adrian.


	23. Kate: I didn't hear you complain

**Kate**

'**I didn't hear you complain'**

Eddie didn't waste any time and dashed for Kate. Before he could reach her, he slammed into Dimitri, who grabbed him by his waist and pinned him to the wall.

'Dimitri? What are you doing? Don't you know who that _is_?' Eddie said, wrestling to get free, though he was no match for Dimitri.

'_You _don't know who that is,' said Dimitri from between clenched teeth.

I focused on Kate, expecting her to plead with Eddie. She wasn't. She was looking at Adrian, and she was literally shaking. 'Adrian? Adrian! I'm so glad to see you!' She did a step towards him, her arms reaching out for him, but then she froze and an expression of abandonment appeared on her face. 'But you're not happy to see me. Of course. I… sorry.'

'Sydney?' he said, shocked. But he wasn't looking at me.

He was looking at her.

I felt faint from panic. This wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe he would believe her. He couldn't believe her. Everything would fall apart if he did. If he saw through it, others would, too.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

'Adrian,' I cried out. 'Thank God you're here. I've been so scared - '

'Eddie, if you promise not to fight, I'll let you go,' said Dimitri, giving me a foul look. 'We can explain this.'

'You're going to explain why you kidnapped Sydney and tied her to a chair?' Eddie strained his neck to look at me, then Kate. 'With _her_? She tried to kill Jill, Dimitri! She was there, she's the reason why we stopped! She's… She's the one you're supposed to be tracking.' He'd stopped struggling and stared at Dimitri. 'What are you doing? Are you _helping _her?'

_Thank you, Eddie. Save me. Save me_, I prayed.

'That's not Sydney,' said Dimitri. He took a step backwards, giving Eddie some room to breathe, but was still on his guard.

'Yes, she is. Look at her! That is Sydney!'

Adrian slowly shook his head, as if he had difficulty believing it. His gaze was fixed on Kate's face. 'She isn't.'

'What do you mean?' I said, biting back my terror. I felt more scared now than I ever had during the interrogation. 'Of course I'm Sydney. Who else am I supposed to be?'

'Oh, I don't know, perhaps a crazy murder accomplice?' said Kate. 'Just a suggestion. Or maybe you'd prefer the term "body-snatcher"? Or what about "monster with no regards to _anyone _other than herself, for which she is about to pay the price"? They all seem rather fitting to me.'

'She's lying,' I said to Adrian. 'She's been like this the entire time, I don't know what she's talking about, she must've gone mad in prison - '

'Shut up,' Dimitri said. 'For your own sake as much as ours.'

'Okay, _what _is going on? What do you mean, that girl isn't Sydney?' Eddie's face was filled with bewilderment.

'I'm Sydney,' Kate said.

Eddie blinked. 'Do I still need to say I don't understand, or is that obvious already? Because I'm really confused right now.'

'They're lying,' I said. 'Eddie!'

'Don't listen to her,' said Kate. 'Eddie, it's really me. Sydney. During that attack, Kate did something – I don't know what – and we switched bodies. She's been "me" for over two weeks now and I've been trying to find a way to change it back, but I couldn't find it, so we. – Dimitri and I – decided to ask her how she'd done it…'

'And why should I believe you?' Eddie said. 'It's your word against hers.'

'No, that's Sydney, all right,' said Adrian. 'It's her aura. It's the way she talks…' He choked. 'Oh shit. Oh, shit. Things make so much more sense now.' He ran a hand through his hair, looking quite forlorn. 'Oh, _fuck_.'

'Are you referring to the fact that I was gone for two weeks and apparently neither of you noticed?' Kate said. 'Because yes, this _would _explain that, wouldn't it?'

'Sydney,' Dimitri said sternly. 'They couldn't know. You said that yourself. This is hardly something that pops up as an explanation when someone is acting strangely.'

'I should've known,' Eddie said, clearly distressed. He was looking at Dimitri. 'I should've known something was wrong with her…'

'Wh – no! No!' My breathing hitched. _Not Eddie, too. Eddie, don't do this. Don't._ 'There is nothing wrong with me! How – How can you believe her? People don't just go into other people's bodies; that's impossible!'

'Like bringing people back from the dead?' Adrian snapped. 'Nothing's impossible anymore.'

'But… She's crazy! She tried to kill Jill and now she's trying to blame it on me!' I could see the revulsion in their eyes when they looked at me. The disgust, like I was a criminal. 'You don't understand! She – I – I needed this.' There was no point in denying it now. 'I was going to jail and she was _there _and she was throwing away herlifenadyoulikedmeasSydney didn'tyou?' I stumbled over my words, trying to convince everyone that what I had done was right. Trying to convince myself that what I had done was right. 'Didn't you like me as Sydney? Better than the way she was before?'

'You've only lied to them,' Kate said. 'How do you expect them to like you?'

'I had to,' I whispered. 'Please understand, I _had _to!'

'You've already tried that one,' Dimitri said. 'I'm still not impressed.'

My eyes were brimming with tears. 'But… None of you even noticed she was gone! I – maybe that's a sign? From God? That I'm supposed to be Sydney?'

'Please don't be ridiculous,' Sydney said. 'I hate hearing my voice say things that stupid.'

'And don't think that just because we didn't know _what _was wrong, we didn't know something was off.' Adrian seemed to have recollected himself and was now looking at me with the same disgust everybody else had.

'I wasn't wrong, I was _different_! You liked me different!'

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something.

I should've let him finish.

I should've tried to mollify them.

I should've thought before I spoke.

But I didn't.

'I didn't hear you complain when you _slept _with me!'


	24. Sydney: Did it work?

**Sydney**

'**Did it work?'**

My jaw was slack from bewilderment. For ages, all I could do was just blink and stare at Adrian, until finally I found my voice. '_What?_'

'Sydney, I can explain,' he said hastily.

'You _slept _with her?' My voice was shaking. Adrian had slept with Kate. He had had sex with her. With Kate! _That probably means he hasn't missed me that much_, I thought. My heart clenched. _Maybe he does like her better._

'Yes, but - '

'How _could _you? With _her_, of all people?' I glared at Kate, who had turned pale. She wasn't smirking anymore.

Adrian seemed at a loss of what to do with his body, raising his arms and then dropping them again. His eyes, even greener than I remembered them, were fixed on my face. 'I thought I slept with you.'

'How – How is that supposed to make this better? Then you slept with… me. Why would you even -' My mind was reeling from all that had happened. 'Didn't you think, "Hmm, this is very out of character for Sydney, I wonder what's wrong with her"? Didn't you – didn't it cross you mind that it would be _incredibly _strange if I – how did it happen anyway?' I wasn't sure if I wanted to know, but at the same time, the ignorance was horrible. Kate had slept with him. With Adrian. In my body. Why had she done that? Why had _he _done that?

'Well… yes, I thought it was weird, but…'

'_But?_'

Adrian opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

'This might not be the right time for… this,' said Dimitri. I'd forgotten he was there. Now that I looked at him, I saw his obvious discomfort in the way he avoided looking at either Adrian or me. 'We still need to find a way to get Sydney into her own body.'

'No! No, please, don't,' Kate said. She was moving her arms frantically, trying to get out of the knots Dimitri had made. 'Listen, I understand if you're angry and I'm sorry for everything I did, I really am, but please don't make me go back to that – to jail – please - '

'I don't think you understand the situation,' Dimitri said slowly, as he approached her. 'Sydney is going to get her body back. And even if it's going to take a bit longer than we'd hoped, you still won't get away with this. You can still go to jail in Sydney's body, if that's necessary.'

I glanced at Adrian, but he was staring at Kate, a frown on his face. _She's slept with him_. The notion was like a blow to my stomach. There were so many things wrong with that, but one stood out the most. Adrian had slept with someone. The jealousy was so strong I almost ran over to Kate and hit her. Just when I thought I couldn't hate her more…

'Have you got any idea what you're supposed to do?' Eddie asked me.

I tore my eyes away from Adrian and focused on Eddie. 'I… yes, more or less. Her sister told me. I need to focus my…' I took a deep breath and forced myself to continue. '… my magic on… well, I thought it was the palm of my hand, because that's where Kate and I touched when we switched the first time. It's where we touched. And I've been trying that, but all it's done so far is making me dizzy.'

'Think maybe you just need to concentrate more?' Eddie said. 'Or would you have to do something else as well?'

'That what we've been trying to get her to say, but…' I shook my head wearily.

Eddie put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. 'We'll find a way to help you.'

As I looked into his honest eyes, I realized how much I'd missed him. 'Thanks, Eddie.'

I turned around and walked back to where Kate was sitting. 'Are you going to tell us yet?'

'If I do, will you be easy on me in the trial?' she said.

I was going to tell her that she'd get a life sentence if I had anything to say about it, but I knew that that wouldn't get us anywhere. 'I'll try.'

'Sydney, I really _am _sorry.' She looked up at me with brown, pleading eyes. Too bad for her that the sight of those eyes only reminded me of why I hated her so much. 'This was stupid and – and cruel and I shouldn't have done that, but I did, and I'm sorry. Really, really sorry.'

'Save your regrets for someone who cares,' I snapped. 'Just tell me how to get my body back, if you're really that sorry.'

She nodded. 'You were right. About the focusing. I just don't know if you can do it. It took me years to learn how to direct my magic like that, and this took a _lot _of magic...'

I exchanged glances with Dimitri. 'That's… it?' I didn't believe her, not after everything she'd put me through. 'It must be very convenient for you that I probably won't be able to do it. Haven't you got any more advice? Something to help me along?'

She shook her head. 'I'm sorry. I just practiced a lot. I don't know anything else that might help…'

'I could,' Adrian said, startling the both of us.

'You could?' Eddie said. 'How?'

'I could help Sydney with "channelling" the magic,' he said. 'I guess this was done with Spirit and aren't we all lucky to have me around, being a Spirit user?'

'And sleeping with Kate,' I said before I could help myself.

'But _thinking _it was you. That's a very important part.'

It was also a part that I still didn't understand. This wasn't the time to think about that, though. 'We could always try,' I said. 'How would that work? I hold Kate's hand, you hold mine? Or is that not necessary?' I had a fleeting imagine in my mind where things went wrong and Adrian and I switched bodies. That would be a very awkward complication.

'We could always try that, and if it doesn't work, we'll try something else,' he said.

While Dimitri moved behind Kate's chair and started untying the knots, Adrian brushed his hand along mine. My heart started racing at the contact, until I remembered where those hands had been. 'Never thought I'd be helping you to use magic like this,' he said.

'I've done a lot of things I'd thought I would never have to do.'

'Like breaking out of prison?' said Eddie. 'How did you do that?'

'Rose was my one phone call,' I said. 'She believed me and organized the escape. I think Abe had something to do with it…'

'Wait – Rose knew?' Kate said. She got up, Dimitri having a tight grip on her upper arm. 'But she was so nice to me…'

'Someone had to keep an eye on you,' Dimitri said. He looked at me. 'Are you ready?'

'Ready as I'll ever be.' I got Kate's hand and felt Adrian's hand close around mine. Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and think of nothing but where Kate and I touched. My palm started to tingle with strange warmth, but that was nothing new. It was the flow of energy coming from Adrian that was unfamiliar and for a moment I was so scared I almost pulled my hand away.

I felt a tugging somewhere deep inside me, pulling me away from this body. For one frightening instant, I was no one, neither Kate nor Sydney, floating somewhere in between – but then I heard a loud gasping and opened my eyes.

_My _eyes.

'Did it work?' Eddie said, looking from Kate to me.

I nodded, unable to say anything. I felt like laughing, crying, dancing for joy. In the end I just settled on wrapping my arms around Dimitri. 'It did! It worked! Thank you, thank you, thank you!'


	25. Sydney: I'm really sorry

**Sydney**

**'I'm really sorry'  
**

I had been staring at my reflection for half an hour, taking in the familiar features. A white towel covered my body and some wet locks stuck to my cheeks, despite the many times I'd brushed my hair away. This was my face again. I was the one looking through those eyes, smiling with that mouth, raising that arm to wipe the post-bath steam from the mirror. This body didn't have any magic; it didn't crave any blood.

I'd searched for signs that Kate had been there. Surely my body had to have changed with someone else living in it? There were some differences; I was pudgier and my nails were in bits. Other than that, nothing suggested a vampire had used my body for over a fortnight. Nothing even showed that she'd had sex with a vampire in that time. How could it be that a period with so much impact had left so few traces?

A knock on the door interrupted my ponderings.

'Hello? Person in there? You almost done?'

'Yes, just a second.' I grabbed my clothes and toiletry bag, and opened the door. A sophomore was standing in the corridor and slipped into the bathroom. Holding up my towel, I hurried to my room. The familiar scene was confusing after having a bathroom of my own.

When the door swung open, I had a moment of confusion; I didn't recall keeping the lights on. It all became clear when I entered and saw Jill sitting on my bed, looking exactly as I remembered her.

'Jill?' I said, placing my clothes on the one chair in the room. 'What are you doing here?'

'Eddie just told me what's been going on. I wanted to see you before curfew kicks in.'

'Oh.' I wasn't sure I wanted to see Jill right now. I turned my back and started rummaging through my drawers, wondering where Kate had kept my pyjamas. 'Well, here I am.'

In the mirror's reflection, I saw Jill nod. 'Sydney? Are you searching for something?'

'My pyjamas,' I said. 'I have no idea what she's done to all my stuff. I couldn't find my diary either…'

'"She" being Kate. Wait, I'll help looking.' Jill got up and started searching the bed. I was just about to tell her that I never kept my sleeping attire in her bed when Jill pulled an oversized T-shirt from underneath the duvet. 'Is this it?'

'Yes, thanks.' As I got the T-shirt, I remembered I was naked underneath her towel, and Jill was still present.

_Well, so many seem to have seen me naked already, one more doesn't really matter_, I thought grimly, dropping the towel and pulling the shirt over my head before going on a quest for clean underwear. Just as I slipped on a pair of light blue boxers, a mortifying thought hit me. _Jill had already seen it all anyway. _

I turned to face Jill, wondering how much she knew about Kate's escapade with Adrian.

'So… how are you?' Jill said, taking her seat on the bed again and wrapping her arms around her legs. 'Why aren't you with the guardians? I thought they were still interrogating Dimitri…'

I nodded and sat down next to Jill. 'Technically I haven't got anything to do with all that's happened,' I said. 'The official story is going to be that Kate just escaped and had plans to leave the country, but was caught by Dimitri. No body-switches or anything.'

A crease appeared between Jill's eyebrows. 'Why? Don't you want her punished for that?'

'More than you can imagine.' I took a deep breath and smiled ruefully. 'But the thing is, I could get into very deep trouble with the Alchemists if they found out some of the things I've done.' They wouldn't be bothered by the break-out as much as they would be by the fact that I'd called a dhampir for help, that I'd drunk blood, that I'd used magic on other Alchemists…

'And she is going along with that?' Jill sounded incredulous.

'Kate knows on what side her bread is buttered. I might get into a lot of trouble, but so would she. Escaping a prison is one thing; stealing someone's identity like this?'

'Oh, right. I hadn't thought of that.'

I waited for her to say more. She kept glancing at me and then looking back at her knees in that nervous way she always had when something was bothering her. I didn't encourage her to say it; I was more than a little bit angry that apparently no one had noticed I was gone. I'd thought that Jill and I had grown closer, but she wouldn't know me from anyone else.

_None of them would_, I thought. _It just goes to show how much they really care about you, doesn't it?_

'Sydney, I…' Jill bit her lip and looked up at me, her right eye hidden by a lock of her curly hair. 'I'm so sorry for not knowing what was wrong. I should have, but I just thought you – I don't know, I thought you were in shock from the attack or something like that. It just didn't cross my mind that something like this could've happened but it did and I didn't do anything to help you and I'm really sorry about that. All of it. And if there's anything I can do to make it up to you – bake cookies or – or just tell you I'm sorry a hundred times - '

I couldn't help but laugh. 'You don't have to do that. I get why you wouldn't think of it. I mean, I didn't even believe it in the beginning and it was happening to me. Just promise me that next time I'm acting strangely you'll check if there's a crazy girl taking over my body, okay?'

'I promise.' Suddenly she wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back. Touching Moroi wasn't scary anymore; who'd have thought something good would come of all this?

'So what happened here while I was away?' I said. 'Any interesting developments at Amberwood?'

'No, not really. Everything has just been going the way it always has, I guess. Angeline is getting along better now, though. And Eddie won't teach me how to fight anymore. And someone from my year – August Summers – he'd gone bad during Physics and is now suspended…' She shrugged. 'Nothing much.'

'Good. It'll be easier for me to catch up on it, then. Have you got any idea how Alchemist business has been?'

'Not a clue.' She hesitated and then put her arms around me again, surprising me. 'Sydney?'

'Yes?'

'I'm really, really sorry. I just thought I'd say that again.' She let me go and smiled apologetically. 'We all are, even Angeline and she hardly knew you.'

I smiled at that. 'It's okay, I forgive you. Well…' _Maybe not all of them_. 'When you say "We all are", is that "we" you, Eddie and Angeline, or…?'

She caught the hint immediately. 'It includes Adrian, who, I should say, did know something was wrong. He really, _really _did,' she said, when I looked away. 'Sometimes when I almost fell asleep I'd get all these worries he has in my head and he knew something wasn't right.'

'He obviously didn't mind, if he slept with her!'

'He feels incredibly guilty about that. Sydney, please don't be angry with him.'

It was so familiar, Jill pleading with me not to be angry with Adrian. I really was home again.

'How… How did it happen?' I said, taking my pillow and hugging it to my chest. 'Did he start kissing "me" or – or did they go on a date or did she just come in and drop her clothes to the floor?'

'I don't know exactly how it happened - '

'Thank God,' we both said at the same time.

Smiling, she continued, 'But it was mostly the last option. She just came to his place and, you know…'

'No, I don't. That's the thing. My body had sex and I _don't _know anything about it.' I wondered how much weight she'd gained for me by the time Adrian saw me naked. It was a fearsome thought.

'Oh, Sydney, it just… I tried to block it out. It really wasn't something I wanted to be privy to,' she said. 'When the clothes started to drop I asked Angeline to practice fighting with me because it was less uncomfortable than being in Adrian's head. And Angeline fights dirty!'

I was relieved that Jill hadn't been present for most of the deed, but at the same time I wanted answers. If Kate had just _offered _herself – or rather, me – to him, had he only accepted because it was convenient? Because he didn't want to hurt my feelings?

'You should probably talk this over with Adrian,' she said softly. 'And if it makes you feel any better, right now he's at least as confused as you are, maybe even more.'

'I seriously doubt that.' I checked the clock on my bedside table. 'And you should get to your room. I'll see you in the morning okay?'

'Okay.' She got up and hugged me one last time. 'I'm really glad you're back.'

'So am I.' I watched as she left and shut the door behind her, and then I lay back into the bed. Everything was so much the same, but so much had changed.

As I closed my eyes and dozed off, I wondered how Kate was doing.


	26. Sydney: Do you really think of me?

**Sydney**

**'Do you really think of me like that?'  
**

**Hey. Could I come over today, around four-ish? We need to talk.**

**To: Adrian**

**Time: 12:53**

**Of course. **

**From: Adrian**

**Time: 13:02**

I'd never been this nervous to see Adrian. I was afraid of the conversation we were going to have. I was afraid of the things he might say – or not say. I was afraid of what I might find out; not just about what had happened with Adrian and Kate. Most of all I was afraid of what I thought of it.

'He didn't really want to have sex with you,' I told myself, looking at my reflection in the vanity window of my car. 'It was with Kate. Don't start thinking anything ridiculous.' I choked and got out of the car, wishing I could just drive off and postpone this talk.

The nerves in my stomach were so bad I felt as if I might be sick, but I pressed his buzzer nevertheless. The sooner this conversation was out of the way, the sooner I would stop being plagued by visions of Adrian and me on a bed. What bothered me most about them was that the overruling feeling that accompanied them wasn't fear; it was jealousy. Jealousy mixed with a whole lot of something else that was too scary to linger on.

I didn't have to wait long before the door opened and Adrian just stood there. He looked more awkward than I'd ever seen him before. 'Hey Sage. Come in.' He took a step aside and I entered his apartment. The uneasiness increased exponentially when he closed the door behind him and we were both standing in his living room.

'Can I get you anything to drink?' he said after a long silence.

'Some water would be nice.' I wasn't thirsty, but having something to hold seemed like a great comfort. As Adrian went to the kitchen, I sat down on the plaited couch and went over my rehearsed opening sentences again. _Adrian, I'm not angry at you for not realizing it wasn't me, but there are some things I need to know, just for my ease of mind. Why did you say "yes" when she asked –_

'Sage?'

I blinked and saw him standing right in front of me, offering me a glass of water. In his other hand was a glass of a Coke. So he would be sober for this meeting? Good. At least he took me seriously. We could have an adult conversation about this, where we listened to each other and – and –

He sat down next to me, but didn't say anything. Neither did I. We just sat there, occasionally taking sips of our drinks.

'So… ' I finally said, when I barely had any water left.

'So.'

I cleared my throat of a nonexistent lump. 'Let's not beat around the bush. How did it happen? Was it… here? On the couch?'

He shook his head. 'In the bed. And once on the table.'

'O-oh. Was it - ' I'd been about to ask him if it had been any good, but managed to stop myself in time. If it had happened several times, it probably hadn't been that bad. 'How did it happen? Jill said she just sort of… seduced you.'

A grim smile appeared on his face. 'You could say that. She came over about a week after the incident and… made it very clear what her intentions were. And it just… escalated from there.'

'It didn't strike you as odd that I suddenly came to seduce you?' I certainly had difficulty imagining it. 'I mean, you know how I feel about you, don't you?' I just hoped he did; maybe he could explain it to me.

He raised one eyebrow. 'Sage, I have no idea how you feel about me. None whatsoever. I spent the last two weeks thinking you liked me and the time before that thinking you _might_, but with your attitude to Moroi… ' He shook his head and looked longingly at his empty glass. 'Yes, I was surprised when you suddenly turned into a femme fatale, but…'

'But what?' I said. 'It seemed like fun to – to do me once?'

'No. If you really want to know, it seemed amazing that the girl I was crazy about suddenly seemed to like me back,' he snapped. 'I know you weren't there, but do you really think I'd just "do" you once and then drop you? Do you really think of me like that?'

I could only stare at him. _The girl I was crazy about_. He'd said that. _Adrian _had said – but – how did that happen? What game was he trying to play? It seemed so unlike Adrian to make this even more complicated, but what other explanation was there?

'I… no, of course not. No, I don't think of you like that at all,' I said. 'I just have no idea what I _do_ think right now. I'm so confused. I…' I put down my glass and ran both of my hands through my hair. 'I have no idea what I'm supposed to do right now.'

His expression softened and he placed his hand on my back. It felt nice, comforting.

'You don't have to do anything you don't want to,' he said. 'I'm really sorry for all this. I'm sorry for not noticing it was you, I'm sorry that I slept with you now I know you didn't want to, but I can't undo it.'

I closed my eyes and hid my face in my hands. 'I thought about you so much,' I whispered, something breaking inside me as I said it. 'All the time and then I come back and – and you slept with _her _and I…' Taking a deep breath, I peeked at him; he had gone pale. 'And it hurts. My _God_, it hurts.'

The couch pillow sloped when Adrian put both his arms around me, resting his chin on the crown of my head. As I took in his familiar scent, my entire body relaxed and leaned into him.

'Sydney… I thought it was you,' he said, stroking my back. 'I never would've done it if I hadn't thought it was you.'

'But why? Why would that make it any better?'

He let me go and sagged back into the couch. 'Isn't that obvious? Because I love you.' He looked at me, smiling wryly.

'Don't be ridiculous,' I said, refusing to meet his gaze. 'Of course you don't. You like Kate.' The thoughts that had been plaguing me for hours on end finally came out in one big waterfall of words. 'She's the one who… who had all the fun and who has a wild side and who's much more your type. You just think you love me because she was in my body.' I sent him a small smile, trying to convey that I was all right with it, even though my heart was throbbing painfully.

'Christ. And I thought you were smart,' he said. 'Sage, I didn't fall in love with you because we had sex. I had sex with – I wanted to have sex with you because I love you. You, the girl who's managed to keep me on the right path, who always thinks of others, who manages to make Ancient Greek interesting.' He reached out for my hand and laced his fingers with mine. Did he know how that simple touch filled my stomach with butterflies? 'That's the person I love. That you come in an incredibly hot body is a great plus, I won't lie, but that's not why I like you so much.'

I had no idea what to reply to that. I just stared at him while his words were replayed in my head. _I love you. That's the person I love. He loves me. Oh, God. _

He chuckled. 'Of course, if you turned up in Castile's body, it might pose some problems, but let's just assume that won't happen.'

'Oh, no. I don't want to think about that.' I laughed awkwardly. _He loves me. Adrian loves me. _'I… Wow. When I drove up here, this is not how expected things to go. I thought I'd just… end up hating Kate even more, but now a vampire is declaring his love to me. That's an unexpected turn of events.'

He pulled his hand away from mine. 'After all this, I'm rejected because I'm a vampire?' He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

'I'm not rejecting you at all,' I said. 'If there's anything this entire experience has taught me, it's that vampires aren't necessarily bad. I mean, I actually was one, so it put business with other vampires into a _whole _new perspective.'

'That's right,' he said, sounding surprised. 'You were a Moroi. I hadn't even thought of that yet. That must've been…'

'… quite something? It was. It's why we won't tell the Alchemists. If they found out I'd used magic…' I repressed the twinge of guilt. 'Or that I drank blood… "trouble" would be too small a word.'

He nodded slowly. 'Where _did_ you get blood?'

'Dimitri,' I said. 'Thank heavenshe believed Rose. I really would've been hopeless with… out him.' I faltered when I saw Adrian's face clouding over.

'Belikov. Of course. Should've known that,' he said, getting up. 'He _would _be the ideal choice for a dramatic adventure like this.' He picked up his glass from the floor and said, 'I need a drink.'

'You – no! You can stay sober for this,' I said, jumping up. 'Adrian, Dimitri helped me with the escape and with the blood and he's a great person, but that's it. Really.' I gingerly touched his shoulder and tried to turn him around.

He laid his hand over mine. 'Sorry. I just have a bad history when it comes to Belikov and girls I like and them going on a mission together. It didn't end well for me last time it happened.'

I couldn't suppress my laughter. Everything that had happened - from Rose's escape to the Moroi Queen being murdered to Keith going to a re-education center and Kate stealing my body – it was just so _absurd_. 'Wow. You know, even for a vampire and Alchemist, we have seriously weird lives.'

He laughed with me. 'That's very true. We're a right pair of fuck-ups, aren't we?'

'Yes, we are. At least we've still got each other, right?' I smiled at him. He smiled back. Our eyes locked.

I wasn't surprised when it happened. Some part of me had been waiting for it, hoping for it. I hadn't expected it to be this _good_, though, when Adrian kissed me. All of a sudden he was so close, his warm lips on mine, his hands on my waist, and everything else just ceased to exist.

_Wow. _

* * *

**A/N: okay, that was difficult to write. Guess I can only write fluffy!romance, not oh fuck!romance. This is also the only scene I hadn't planned out beforehand, because I knew there was no point in plotting it. This just had to go naturally and I'd see if Sydney and Adrian ended up together. **_  
_


	27. Sydney: I'm finished

**Sydney**

'**I'm finished'**

'Not to put you off or anything, but why are you here?'

'I thought it would be nice to see what they'd done to it since the last time I was here,' I said, taking in the bare walls that had been my world for the four days of my imprisonment. Nothing had changed, at least not that I could see. I had no doubt the Alchemists had sharpened security since my break-out. In a way, I supposed my escape had been useful; what better way to test their defences than to have a non-violent prisoner breach them?

When I focused on Kate, I was shocked to see how relaxed she looked. She leaned against the wall of the cell and smiled at me. Her bravura disappeared after a couple of seconds, and a guilty expression replaced it.

'No, really, why are you here?' she said, letting her arms hang by her side. 'Can't be all the fond memories.'

'It isn't. '

'The warm, comforting atmosphere then?' She raised her eyebrows and looked around the room. 'Or did you just come here to gloat?'

'I came here because I wanted to talk to you.' When I'd told Dimitri of the plan, he'd looked troubled, but said that he knew I wouldn't let it go. He'd advised me not to do it – after all, what good could it do? Maybe it _was_ just a chance for gloating. I hadn't wanted to think of it that way, but now I stood here, confronted with Kate and having nothing to say, I had to admit a petty part of me was happy that she was behind bars when I wasn't.

'So talk, then. I'm most curious,' she said. I didn't reply, and she let out a frustrated sigh. 'Oh, come on, Sydney. I've wiped your privy parts after taking a dump. We're not going to be shy _now_, are we?'

I closed my eyes in distaste. 'Do you have to be so crude?'

Opening them again, I found Kate staring at me.

'I'm sorry,' she said. I'd expected something to follow that up – but nothing came. Just that apology, that wasn't one apology, but a hundred. It was her apology for everything she'd done to me, all the drama she'd brought to my life. It was her apology for hurting me, for hurting Adrian, hurting Jill…

I had come here thinking I'd want to hurt her, humiliate her, 'gloat', like she had said, but now that I saw her, I just wanted this to be over. I felt incredibly sad for this girl, who'd thought her only way out was through identity theft and who was now in even more trouble because of it. Yes, she deserved her time in prison, but I didn't have to rub it in her face.

'I know you are,' I said. 'I'm sorry too.'

She bristled in surprise. 'You're sorry? For _what_?'

'You. This. The whole situation. I don't know.' I paced around the small corridor, trying to find a way to phrase my feelings, while Kate looked at me like I was an interesting, if disturbing, character in a play.

'I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for what you put me through,' I said.

The corner of her mouth turned up in a half smile. 'I didn't expect you to.'

'I wish things didn't have to be this way. I feel sorry for you, that you had to go this far to escape the mess you'd made out of your life. That doesn't excuse anything you did, but…'

'Oh, no. Is this going to be a pity party?' She cocked her head and eyed me wearily. 'Sydney, I don't need your sympathy and I don't need your pity. I got myself into this shit, and I'm sorry that that hurt you, but unless you've got some great escape plan you'd like to share, I don't think you're adding anything useful to my life by being here.'

I opened my mouth, but found I had nothing to say. Maybe Kate was right. Maybe there was nothing more I could add to her life. I had lived it – hated it – and now that period of my life was over.

'Well… Okay. Goodbye, then,' I said. For lack of anything better to say, I added, 'Good luck with your sentence.'

'Thanks. Good luck with your upcoming math exam and the rest of your spectacular life. Maybe I'll come by when I get out of prison, eh?'

'Yes, and maybe not. Let's not push your luck, shall we?'

She grinned and held out her hand through the bars. Noticing my incredulous expression, she said, 'What? Shaking hands _is _considered polite. Even I know that.'

'Nice try.' I pressed a buzzer next to the door and said, 'I'm finished. I'd like to leave now.'

The door opened and a guard appeared. As he escorted me out, I didn't look back. Kate and I were finished. It was over.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all for reading this and sticking with Sydney until the end! I hope you liked it, and do feel free to express your feelings in a (preferably loving) review. This story was inspired by the _Buffy the Vampire Slayer _episode _Who are you? _(season 4), although I like to think I gave my own twist to things. (it's still a great episode, though, I can really recommend it.) And... that was it. It's over!**


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